Any Which Way You Can Page #3

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when you show up for the fight.

Bear this in mind.

What Wilson will do to you is nothing...

...compared to what we will do to you

if you don't show up for the fight.

Clyde, escort the man out.

- You'll have a visit from my friends soon.

- Will they be driving Cadillacs, too?

Yes. Long and black.

Clyde, scrap the Caddie.

Jesus!

Jesus!

Oh, God!

He's crazy.

How about we go up to Bakersfield

and mess around for a couple of days?

No, thank you. I'm not Clyde.

I can't sit around eating bananas...

...while you and the broad

are playing patty cake.

- She's not a broad.

- I know that.

Damn it, I'm just talking mad.

You're allowed to talk mad to your friends,

you know, if they are.

They are, and you're allowed.

Sh*t.

She's a real nice girl.

I know.

- A piece of luck.

- I think.

- But I don't have to like it.

- Hell, no. I wouldn't either.

You wouldn't?

Maybe I ought to get

really mad at you, then.

You better go before

he goes down the block again...

...after that lady Saint Bernard.

Jesus, I never saw a dog

turn gray overnight before.

That's enough.

Come on, you'll get blasted.

Let's go.

- You take care, now.

- All right. You, too.

Seems like Orville

is not very happy these days.

I know. I guess he thinks

you're taking up some of his space.

- But I can't give it back to him.

- I know.

Hang on.

No!

Lock the doors.

Cholla, I'm hardening.

I'm hardening, too.

Shut up and get him! Move!

I'm froze.

Dead meat, Beddoe.

Dead meat.

You're going to pay for this.

You're going to pay.

What are you going to do with them?

Well, we can't leave them here.

Dogs would come along and piss on them.

Ain't fair to the dogs.

You'll pay for that, too, Beddoe.

- Will you be able to get this stuff off?

- Sure. We'll just peel them like bananas.

Of course, that tar will take

most of their hair off with it.

- Painful?

- Moderately.

- Too bad.

- Both of you will pay for this, Beddoe.

I already am paying for it.

It's $20 for this tow boom

and another $20 I'm adding on...

...for cleaning up my truck.

That's $40 you owe me.

We should be back in 15, 20 minutes,

I hope.

- Good luck.

- Come on, Clyde. Scrap the gate.

Despite your irresistible charm, old buddy,

she may have some reservations.

You just feed her this banana

and that will put her out.

Not more than about 40 minutes.

If that doesn't work,

pop her in the ass and squeeze the bulb.

Got that?

Clyde, sometimes I think

you're not too tightly wrapped.

What happened?

I have the only primate in the country

that's a dope addict.

- Be right back.

- Be careful.

Well, it's his own damn fault

if I get the wrong one.

- Who the hell are you?

- We're looking for Philo Beddoe.

He ain't here. Get out of my house.

Who the hell are you?

That ain't him. Where is he?

- Why don't you go...

- Ma.

Where is he?

- Bakersfield.

- Where in Bakersfield?

I don't know.

He's going to find a motel

when he gets there.

Son of a b*tch!

- Looks like you got the right one.

- Yeah.

Do you think he knows what to do?

Well, there've been primates around

for 80 million years.

I don't think they'd set that kind of record

without doing something.

I guess not.

What is that?

It's just Clyde showing off.

It's part of the courtship.

My God. That's obscene.

Sure sounds obscene.

- Don't I get a courtship?

- What do you want me to do?

I don't know. Show off a little.

What do you say, big boy?

How's that?

I'm impressed.

Will it hold both of us?

We're leaving this place immediately.

Get up!

Savage.

Luther.

Luther, stop that!

My back!

- I've thrown out my back.

- Stretch your arms. Don't tense.

Damn fool. I should've known better.

It was very brave, Luther.

That was a heavy chair.

You looked very impressive.

So did you.

It's been a long time.

How many?

About a hundred.

Let's go.

Bakersfield.

Get away from there.

It ain't right to watch folks

go humpity-bumpity.

Hey, baby.

My God, what have I done?

The first live one in 20 years,

and I disabled him.

Come on, sweetie.

That was just a little tickle

to loosen you up, you know?

Now, I'll tell you what you do.

You get yourself a good eyeful.

Come on. Just look right in.

Enjoy yourself.

And, then when you're ready

for a little romp...

...I'll be in the office.

You know, I ain't a churchgoing person...

...but, I swear,

that's gonna be a thing of a past.

Let him be all right.

I didn't hit him hard,

he should still have one good one left.

Sweetie.

Thank you, Lord.

That's it.

Excuse me, Officer. Can you tell me

where the Pink Cloud Motel is?

Yeah.

Just hang a right out here.

Go down a little bit a ways. Can't miss it.

How would you and your girlfriend, there,

like to race me over?

Come on, guys.

Philo!

All right, wise guy.

- Which station?

- Fourth Street. Why?

Fourth Street Station!

What is it, snookums?

Somebody's bashed into our car,

honeybunch.

We can always get another car.

Come back to bed, sweetheart.

What's that for?

Just in case.

Take her home. Hurry on back.

You wait here.

Over this way.

That's enough.

Thanks, old buddy.

That took guts. I owe you one.

Don't even think about it.

- How long has she been like this?

- All morning. Ain't said a word.

I suppose you'll have to fight, now.

Yeah.

I don't think they're going to hurt her.

I think they just wanted you to fight.

I know.

- Piece of crap, though.

- Yeah.

She's getting on.

I think maybe her brains are, you know,

turning soft.

Jelly, sonny. Jelly.

"Jelly roll killed my mama

"Drove my daddy stone blind"

You're going to church next Sunday.

You, too.

Philo. It's him.

Yeah?

Jackson, Wyoming. Saturday, noon.

Not until I talk to her.

You are in no position to set conditions.

You heard me.

Nino.

- Philo?

- You okay?

I'm fine.

Don't fight, they don't dare hurt me.

I trust you're not so foolish

as to believe that, Mr. Beddoe.

No, I'm not.

Lynn, the fight's not your concern.

I'll have you out of there on Saturday.

Philo, listen...

We have a deal, Mr. Beddoe?

You'll produce her Saturday noon,

before the fight, right?

Deal.

All right, boys. Belly up to the table.

Get yourself some hair there.

Here. Paint on some eyebrows.

You look like a bunch of freaks.

- You promised me a moustache.

- Cholla. You promised I could be a blond.

I want to be a redhead.

- Give me that brown one.

- I like brown.

Cholla, why don't you tell him

to give me what I asked for?

I love it.

Nobody knows nothing.

I checked everybody I know,

even the sleazies.

They're probably holding her somewhere

near Jackson.

We'll just do little scouting.

Jesus.

Why don't you just shut up

and start passing out them tickets, there.

I ain't got the heart.

You've got enough trouble.

Wait a minute.

You have to give us them tickets.

You have to.

I mean, didn't you see us?

We're lawbreakers.

I mean, we are totally despicable.

We have earned them tickets.

Son, you are a walking violation

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