Anything Else Page #3

Brandeis. But l dropped out.

One of her professors

fell in love with her.

lt was terrible.

He was married.

lt was way too much pressure

for all of us. His poor wife.

ln addition to acting,

she's a very good singer.

l try to sing, but then l hear someone

like Billie Holiday, and forget about it.

She's your favorite.

But you can't listen to the CD's, right?

They sterilize the sound.

Didn't l say that?

l absolutely agree with you.

lt totally sterilizes...

that's so funny.

Actually, someone told me

about this seedy record store

that has all of her old recordings

on 78s and 33s.

l'd love to know about it.

She is amazing.

lt's early.

Let's go to the Village Vanguard.

Diana Krall is playing.

lt should be a great show.

l'll get so discouraged,

but l am dying to see her.

- Great.

- You get up so early to write.

Yeah, but l did most of my stuff

for tomorrow, so...

- Should we? What do you...

- Yeah, sure.

Hide your heart from sight

Lock your dreams at night

lt could happen to you

Don't count stars

Or you might stumble

Someone drops a sigh

And down you tumble

Keep an eye on spring

Run when church bells ring

lt could happen to you

She's so moving.

l agree. She's totally moving.

Absolutely.

You've captured her.

[applause]

What was l saying?

l'd love to take one of those boats

down the Amazon.

lt's supposed to be so beautiful.

Not tonight?

Of course not tonight.

l was... that's funny.

But how thrilling that would be.

That would be so thrilling.

You hate heat.

You hate mosquitoes.

l hate malaria. lt's malaria, remember?

l don't hate all mosquitoes.

l want to see the parrots

and the giant butterflies.

l've seen pictures in National Geographic.

They're gorgeous.

Giant, huge...

And wild monkeys would be...

Monkeys?

How much have you had to drink?

Do you like snakes?

Do l like snakes?

Some people get queasy around them,

but l think they're beautiful.

The way they move...

it's so sensual.

So sen... l love snakes.

Cobras, for example.

- Pythons.

- Naturally. Pythons.

Garters. Rattlesnakes.

l love them all.

- l cannot believe l'm hearing this.

- Oh, please.

l've often said, often, that there's

nothing like a dense jungle in the rain.

- l've said this.

- [Brooke:
] You're drunk.

- That's not true.

- Speaking of rain,

there's supposed to be

a hurricane tonight.

We should rent a car

and drive to the Hamptons.

- We could walk on the beach...

- He hates the Hamptons.

Nobody hates the ocean.

She's up for anything.

lt's too late for me. l can't.

Don't you have an audition tomorrow?

''My candle burns at both ends,

it will not last the night.''

Millay. Edna Millay.

She's my favorite poet.

Don't l quote her all the time?

Edna Millay...

Amanda's pretty, isn't she?

- She's okay, l suppose.

- You're drunk.

l was looking at her face

in the candlelight

and she has this offbeat sexual quality.

Yeah, l guess.

lf, uh, you know,

if you find that crippling sense

of passionate heat

behind those big eyes sexy.

- Huh?

- Hmm?

- Nothing.

- Bob's crazy about her.

l got the whole story while you were

in the men's room throwing up.

l'm fine.

Believe me, l'm okay.

She moved in with him

and l get the feeling

he is dying to marry her.

- Oh, yeah?

- They make a nice couple.

He's charming and very attractive.

Are you okay?

Yeah.

Amanda? Hey, it's Jerry Falk.

Good, good. You?

Listen, l was just about to go to

this old record store l found out about.

l know you were interested

in picking up some Billie Holiday.

l'm actually vaguely near your house,

so l thought that, um...

l mean, if you and Bob are busy...

Right. Of course. He would be at work.

What was l thinking?

l could be there pretty soon.

Maybe, say, three minutes?

Great. l'll meet you in front

of your place. Bye.

These are great.

Let me get you this Diana Krall record

as a present

since l know how big of a fan you are.

- Wasn't she great the other night?

- So great.

l love that you appreciate old songs.

They're so pretty.

l'd love to hear you sing sometime.

l can't sing publicly.

l'm too fat.

- Fat? l'm sorry. Did you say fat?

- But l have these great diet pills.

They take away your appetite,

but increase your sexual drive.

ls that how you met Bob?

From his record company?

No. He picked me up

in Central Park, actually.

Oh, how funny.

And you guys got...

seriously involved?

No. He'd like to, but...

l can't commit.

l have a problem with commitment.

l dream of meeting someone

who l'll want to give myself over to,

where l'd be the one

hurt in the end.

But it hasn't happened yet. You?

Me neither.

Um, unfortunately, same here.

Brooke and l are in

the last stages, basically.

- Really?

- Oh, yeah.

- She didn't give me that impression.

- She didn't?

Well, that's strange, because that's

the only impression to give, really.

Oh. Look at this, uh, record.

Cole Porter.

This is a fantas...

really pretty songs on here.

Let me get you this as a little present.

Can l do that?

l was actually listening to this last night,

and l thought of you.

You were listening to Cole Porter

and thought of me?

You must really have a crush on me.

l do?

l'd say it's fatal.

l'm sorry.

l, uh... l couldn't resist.

Don't apologize.

l wanted you to.

You did?

Yes. l've had a crush on you

since we met.

Couldn't you tell,

the way l was ignoring you?

Well, there was something

compelling about your apathy.

l thought you were sweet

and sensitive and vulnerable.

And l could tell you liked me, too.

l can't believe

l'm in love with a smoker.

l don't want anyone to get hurt.

Where were you?

lt's 10:
00.

Where?

Well, um, l had a meeting to go to.

- You smell from alcohol.

- l do?

My God, your tongue is black.

lt is? Well, um...

that's because l had some wine.

Wine? Why?

lt's not Passover.

No. Uh, to celebrate.

Uh, the deal.

What deal?

l have to tell you, um, it looks like

l have a great opportunity

to work for, for, um, a very,

very funny, uh, puppet.

lt's, uh... remember l...

ls this a woman's hair?

ls this...

is this a woman's hair?

l mean, it could be...

l suppose.

Possibly from, uh, the taxi.

lt was... l mean, l think, you know,

all the people in and out,

l probably sat up in...

l guess, the woman's hair.

l am exhausted.

She asked me if l still love her.

What could l say?

Why can't l tell her the truth?

l'm in love with Amanda.

Why can't l tell her it's over?

Why can't l leave people?

Tell me about your dream.

The Cleveland lndians gotjobs

at Toys R Us?

Yeah. So what can it possibly mean?

Look, l can't keep wasting my hour here

describing lunatic dreams.

l have a date with Amanda.

l can't keep running around town

on the sly and live like this.

Amanda can handle it,

but l need help.

What do l do? l have to

extricate myself from Brooke.

lt'll break her heart.

She wants to marry me.

The guy will not talk.

l've been with him for three years.

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