Apartment Troubles Page #4

Oh, my God!

It's just weighing on me.

Oh. Well, that

explains a lot.

But I was also up thinking about

your show and maybe auditioning?

Well, do it! Do!

Nicole, she doesn't

want to do it with me.

You don't need Nicole.

We gotta get some toothbrushes.

Oh, God.

Robert, get out your wallet.

Yes, dear.

May I have a 20, please?

- I got a...

- A 20.

I see it in there.

They have tarot

readings here for 5 bucks.

It's actually really reasonable.

Okay, let's see what

the cards have to say.

You lost someone recently?

Yeah.

He's still with you and

we wants you not to worry.

Is he a bird?

No, sort of.

- Huh.

- But no, yeah.

And the moon.

This card is connected

to dreams and the unconscious.

The moon provides

the reflection of the sun.

- Yeah.

- But the light is dim.

It's uncertain.

Ah. The magician.

It has to do with power.

Unused power is

nonexistent power.

We don't have electricity

in our apartment.

I wonder IF it could have

something to do with that, maybe?

I'm talking about

the electricity inside.

The electricity inside you.

Everything you have

has to be destroyed

for you to go to the next step.

There's the moon.

It's time to put

your art out in the world.

It's time.

That was crazy.

Was yours crazy?

It was like she knew everything.

Listen, IF you need me

to audition with you,

I will do it.

I'm not gonna sing with you.

And I have a piece

that's not finished,

but maybe we could

experiment with it.

What did she say to you?

She said I had to share.

Oh, let's get these guys.

Ladies, ladies!

I already sense a

little special something

emanating from you two.

What can we expect

from you guys today?

What do you mean?

The people want to know

what to expect from you.

I don't think people

should know what to expect.

Okay.

Um, is there anything you

want to say for yourself?

Is there anything you'd like

to say to anybody back home?

Thank you.

Good luck.

Holy cow.

Is something funny over there?

Are you taking

the audition seriously?

Are you taking

the audition seriously?

Uh, I'm not auditioning, she is.

Oh.

Are you singing?

Yeah.

Singing about lip gloss and

the boys that go into the yard?

Uh, she's really talented.

She has been miss

teen Arizona twice.

Yeah, I'm singing

"my heart will go on"

and dedicating it to my mom

who died when I was little.

You're saying

that before you sing?

Yeah.

Do you think that

there's a correlation

between winning the pageants

and sharing your

personal tragedy?

What is your problem?

What is your problem?

- You're being a b*tch.

- You're being a b*tch.

Well, you look like

a cheap imitation of kesha.

Oh, my God.

She's an artist.

- Oh, my God.

- What... what?!

- What... get off!

- Get her off!

- Simmer down!

- Olivia!

- Olivia!

- F***!

Tiger.

Is that the Adderall?

You can't beat up girls

with dead moms.

That was the other girl.

It's true.

That was totally justified.

Yeah. Those girls sucked.

We're gonna crush them.

And IF you felt that way,

I guess that's understandable.

But thank you anyway and,

uh, thanks for the opportunity.

Hmm.

Well, thank you

for having us. Hello.

Uh, We'll just take

a few minutes to set up

and then We'll be performing

excerpts from

Anton Chekov's "the seagull"

along with some stuff that

we wrote ourselves.

Not to get expectations up,

but I have heard this one sing.

And it was a bit of a treat.

This should be interesting.

This is the universe we live in.

I was afraid you might hate me.

It came into being with

a big bang

that caused this universe

we call home to expand

for the past

13.7 billion years.

Do you hear the wind?

The earth has been

around for 4.5 billion years,

give or take

.5 billion years.

Blessed is he who has a roof

over his head on such a night.

Sleeping in his own warm corner.

Human beings have been here

for about 200,000 years.

May the lord help

all homeless wanderers.

This cat was born

on October 25th, 2007.

I am the seagull.

He died this week.

No, that's not right.

The average American

lives to be 79.

That's 28,470 days,

683,280 hours,

40,996,800 minutes.

Ever since I got here, I've

been walking and thinking.

Thinking and feeling my inner

life grow stronger every day.

The important thing

is not fame or glory.

It's not what

I used to dream about.

But learning how to endure.

How long will you live?

IF you were born in 1980

and live an average life,

you will die around 2059.

Life is like a mist.

I must bear my cost

and have faith.

IF I have faith,

it doesn't hurt so much.

And the feelings we have

for each other

are like fine delicate flowers.

Do you remember?

I am the seagull.

Um...

No. That's not...

- Nicole?

- What?

What are my lines?

- I don't know.

- I forgot my lines.

Men and lions,

eagles and partridges.

Men and lions,

eagles and partridges.

Men and lions,

eagles and partridges.

Men, lions, eagles, partridges.

Men and lions,

eagles and partridges.

Men and lions,

eagles and partridges.

- Shh.

- What?

No, no!

Just... that's ridicu...

Uh, uh, just give me a...

A moment to focus.

Stop it, stop it!

Ow, ow!

Ow!

Men, lions...

Hmm.

What was the year of your death, boys?

Did you figure it out?

Ugh.

Uh, about five minutes ago.

Mine is 2039.

I think I understand

what you're trying to say

and I see a certain

beauty in it.

Of course you would.

You guys have something special,

but It's not "that

special something."

It's more like

that special nothing.

Give it!

Off of it!

This is very different way

that this is going down

than what I

thought would happen.

I'm not entirely sure

what plan...

Why did you do that?

Because your teeny

tiny therapist

didn't seem to be

making progress with you.

I humiliated myself in front of the

judges and basically all of America.

I just don't know why you

care what those a**holes think.

The judges for America

see nothing special in me.

They don't even like me.

I don't think you even like me.

It's like you're trying

to sabotage me.

It's like that thing you

did with the feather bomb.

I want you to shut

your f***ing face.

I didn't even want

to do this thing.

You begged me to do it,

'cause you're needy.

You're just not comfortable

with the depth of my feelings.

No, because every time

I turn around,

you're like right there!

You're cling... It's like, God,

IF I feel your breath

on my skin anymore,

I'm gonna vomit.

You need to, like, get

a boyfriend or something.

This was supposed

to be a vacation.

This feels like

a vacation to you?

You know, I sure as sh*t...

I don't feel like

I'm on vacation.

Not when I'm around you

and these feelings of yours.

And I could have

been on a vacation.

I could've been on

a real vacation on a lake

with my family

on a f***ing lake.

And for some... I don't know why,

they didn't want me there.

No, Olivia, please!

Don't touch me!

You know what?

I think It's a good thing

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