Are We There Yet? Page #6

It was you two.

If I didn't volunteer to babysit

you two little demons...

...this wouldn't have never happened,

and I'd still have my car.

Go ahead and cry. I don't care.

Okay, all right, stop the waterworks.

Oh, all right. Oh, come on,

come on.

Stop crying. Stop crying.

It's not your fault. It's not your fault.

No, no. I just got

a little upset, okay?

That's why you buy insurance.

All right, let's sit down. Sit down.

Come on, now.

Right here, right here.

It's only a car, okay?

We are a lot of trouble.

That's why our daddy

doesn't wanna be with us.

Whoa, whoa.

Look at me.

Don't say that. That's not true.

But we destroyed your Navigator.

That? Oh, that's nothing.

That's just a material object.

It means nothing.

I wouldn't wanna spend New Year's

with us either.

Who would?

Me.

I would.

But you know what?

Maybe your mother's right,

you know.

Maybe I'm not cut out for this.

I mean, look at you two.

You're a mess.

I keep losing you,

feeding you the wrong stuff.

If you were goldfish,

you'd be dead.

You know, you're doing okay.

This is just your first day.

Yeah, you have to get experience.

You'll get used to it.

Yeah, and there's books

you can read too.

Thanks.

But you know what?

If we're not magically in front

of your mother...

...in the next 30 minutes or so...

...she'll never talk to me again.

Hey, if it's the bottom of the ninth, and

you're down two runs, do you quit?

No. You put that ball back on the tee,

and you keep swinging.

Well, let's keep swinging.

Come on. Let's go.

Now we gotta figure out how

we gonna get to Vancouver.

Hey, look.

I found your keys, Nick.

What?

It's just my luck.

Let's get out of here.

- Come on.

- Right here, baby. Come on, now.

Yo, yo, yo, hey!

You got one.

Oh, man, thanks.

We're on our way to Vancouver,

and I really, really appreciate this.

I couldn't leave these kids

here on the highway.

That's why I'm leaving you,

you animal!

Wait a minute!

Come back here, you hillbilly!

Come here!

No. Let me in. Let...

Hey, yo, bring me back my kids!

Stop.

Mister, are you crazy?

Some psycho trucker took my kids.

We gotta catch him.

Well, hop aboard. I'll help you.

Ernst to the rescue.

Suzanne, they'll be here any minute.

I'm sure they're fine.

Now, let's concentrate on the party.

We were completely wrong

about Nick.

Yeah, but now we know

he's kind and gentle.

Come on, come on, come on.

Come on, slim, get me closer.

- Come on, Nick.

- I got it.

- Get off.

- Open up, you jerk.

Nick, save us! Help!

- Stop this truck!

- Get off!

- You lunatic!

- Stop this truck!

Kind and gentle, huh?

- Go, man.

- I'm moving.

This thing wasn't built for speed.

Come on,

you're driving like a old lady.

No, no, you watch.

Ernst knows how to drive.

That's what I'm talking about.

- Let us out now.

- We wanna go with Nick.

Let us out.

Come on, slim, don't let him

push you around. Do it. Do it.

Dag-bernit, I've had enough of this.

- Come on, slim, they getting away.

- It won't turn over.

I can't do anything about it.

I'm sorry.

Boy, it's true. Never a cop around

when you need one.

What are you doing?

Are you crazy?

Bad! Hit you!

- Geronimo!

- Geronimo!

- Look, it's Elite Catering.

- This is Mom's party.

Let's go.

- Come on.

- I want some cotton candy.

- Got you.

- Run! Save yourself!

Wait. Wait.

At least slow down.

You two are a peck of trouble,

you know that?

Wait. I'm trying to protect you.

You're going down, sucker.

Get off me.

Come on. Come on.

I'm gonna give you

a knuckle sandwich.

- Let me at him. Get your hands off me.

- What's wrong with you two?

- He's a kidnapper!

- He's a kidnapper!

- He's a kidnapper!

- He's a kidnapper!

- Let me at him.

- Yeah. Nick, get him!

Police.

Mom!

Lindsey, honey.

Oh, baby, Mommy was so worried

about you. Are you okay?

Yep. Eight o'clock,

just like you said.

Now, where is your brother

and that Nick?

I left them by the ice-skating rink.

Now, I need to know what's going

on here, and I want the truth.

The truth? I don't think there's time

for the truth.

Get him!

I'm the good guy. Get him.

Get your hands off me,

you stinking snowman.

Wait a minute.

You don't understand.

I got permission from his mother

to bring him here. Kevin, tell him.

Kevin!

Let me go. He needs his inhaler.

Kevin. Kevin.

Oh, no. Come on, man.

Come on, Kevin.

Come on, man. Breathe.

Breathe, breathe.

Come on. Come on, breathe.

Kevin.

Kevin.

Don't you ever scare me

like that again. You hear me?

Don't you ever do that.

Maybe it won't be so bad

to turn out like you after all.

Kevin!

- Mommy.

- Oh, Kevin, honey, come here.

I don't know what Mommy was

thinking. I should've come home.

- Are you okay?

- It's okay, Mom. I'm fine.

Yeah, it's okay. He's fine.

You call this fine?

Look at this.

This is a catastrophe.

No, Suzanne,

you don't understand.

- I mean, we... Me and the kids...

- Nick, please.

It's bad enough as it is.

I really wanted to believe in you.

Ma'am, did this man have permission

to watch your children?

Yes.

But it was a mistake,

and it won't happen again.

Come on, you guys.

- Suzanne, no.

- But, Mom...

I don't wanna hear it.

I'm not in the mood to argue. Let's go.

- Mommy.

- Let's go.

Suzanne.

Nick.

Listen...

...I'm sorry for all the trouble.

If you're serious about heading home,

I'd be proud to give you a lift.

Appreciate that, Big Al.

I got my truck right...

Hey, what are you doing, you turkey?

You can't tow my truck!

Put it down. I'm here.

Put it down right now.

Officers, arrest this man!

Yo, Nick.

Excuse me.

Hey, Nick, remember me?

I'm in here with a mint

stuck to my head.

Hey, brother.

What are you moping about?

You should be celebrating.

You finally got rid

of that highfalutin woman...

...with that smart-mouth little girl

and that sickly boy.

Yes, sir. It's New Year's Eve,

and you are free at last.

Time to hit some clubs.

And they got some foxy ladies here.

Did you know Vancouver

produces more Playmates...

...than any other city in the world?

Let's go, player.

Thanks, Dad, that was a lot of fun.

Hey, Nick.

You know what they call

a 50-year-old bachelor?

What?

Lonely.

Who is it?

Room service.

We didn't order anything,

and that won't change.

Let me explain, okay?

I know you're upset,

and you have a right to be...

...but there's a good reason why all...

- Nick, they're kids.

They don't need reasons and excuses.

They need a man.

So whatever it is that you have to say,

just drop it.

I've been down this road before,

and I'm not going back.

- Good night.

- Wait, wait.

Just let me say goodbye to the kids.

I don't think that's a good idea.

Please.

Make it quick.

- Nick!

- Nick!

Hey, how you guys doing?

You all right?

I knew you'd come back.

Lindsey didn't think so, but I did.

Boy, you know I'm gonna be

your friend always, right?

But Mama's not gonna

date you anymore.

Listen, you guys.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes