Are We There Yet? Page #5

Synopsis: Nick Persons is a selfish player who owns a collectables sports shop in Portland, Oregon. Everything in his life is perfect until he meets Suzanne Kingston, a business woman who has something Nick hates - children: Lindsey and Kevin. Nick and Suzanne become friends and share good moments with each other. But Nick's peaceful life gets altered when Suzanne asks him to drive her kids to Vancouver. After the 3 miss a plane and then, train, they drive. Unfortunately, Kevin and Lindsey hate Nick, and he has to try to make it to Vancouver, unaware of the terror and torture he is in for.
Director(s): Brian Levant
Production: Sony Pictures
  1 win & 8 nominations.
 
IMDB:
4.6
Metacritic:
27
Rotten Tomatoes:
11%
PG
Year:
2005
95 min
$82,301,521
Website
1,495 Views


don't you?

- No, I don't.

- Yes, you do.

- No, I don't.

- Yes, you do.

Look, it's obvious

you need a timeout...

...and you need

a little tickle time.

Because all you do is ask

a thousand questions, huh?

Hey. Are you all right?

Kevin.

I'm good.

- You sure?

- Yeah, except...

...I'm out.

- Okay, don't worry about that.

We'll get you more

once we get there.

Oh, sure, we can wait...

...if you want me to die!

They're closing!

Do something, Nick.

No, no, wait. Hold on!

Wait a minute. We need a refill.

Sorry, we're closed.

Come back Tuesday.

But I got a sick kid here.

Look, I couldn't help you

even if I wanted to.

The pharmacist

has left for the holiday.

- Well, where is he?

- He's off duty.

And I doubt very much he's gonna

want some guy interrupting his holi...

Just a second, sir,

and I'll draw you up a map.

Hey, Nick, that guy

was such a meanie.

How'd you get him

to do what you wanted?

Oh, that was simple.

I just gave him the look.

It works every time.

- It even worked through glass?

- Oh, yeah.

The look is something

I developed when I was a kid.

I had somewhat of a reputation.

Surprise, surprise.

I don't want everybody stepping

to me, so I give them the look...

...which told them, "Back off.

That's a bad mother... "

"Shut your mouth. "

I wish I could do that.

You got somebody

bothering you at school?

An asthmatic in the accelerated

program? What do you think?

Try this. It's foolproof.

No, no, check the lip,

check the lip.

Man, do not take my lunch money.

Here we go, killer. Come on.

Hey, hey, where y'all going?

Excuse me, I'm looking

for the pharmacist.

Delwyn? Sure.

He's...

- He's right over there.

- That's enough.

- I got it.

- Give me that.

Stop clowning around now.

- Yo.

- Give me my shoe.

Yo. Excuse me,

are you the pharmacist?

Not at the moment. Why?

Well, look, I got a kid with me, man.

He's got asthma real bad.

Try some steam.

That usually helps.

Hey, hey. Knock it off.

- Steam?

- That's enough of that.

Look, look, all I need is a refill, okay?

And I know you can help.

I'm asking you nice.

Mister, I've been married

for 38 years. You can't scare me.

Come on, man, you the pharmacist.

I know you took a oath or something.

Not that I can remember, no.

Hey, will you go over there

and behave yourself?

Yeah, go get him over there.

You know, folks around here

like to barter.

You get what you want,

I get what I want.

One hand washes the other.

I scratch your back...

Get to the point.

Whoa, whoa, whoa,

you can't clown me.

Watch the kids.

All of them?

You little...

Oh, my word.

Pie and cake and brownies and pie.

You said "pie" twice.

I like pie.

Kevin, you know Mom

would be upset...

...if we were even thinking

about trying any of these...

...chocolatey...

...creamy...

...delicious...

Hey, I was gonna eat

those brownies.

What? Just take those.

No, I want yours.

Take it easy, man.

Sorry.

Ridiculous.

What? I got this.

All right, timeout. Get off of him.

Get off of him.

Get out of here.

Get off of him, you little gangsters.

Watch out.

You too! Off of him!

What is wrong with you kids?

Why y'all ganging up on him?

You think you so tough?

I'd like to see you try that

with somebody my size.

Okay! Okay, man!

All right, get off me,

you little maggots!

- Do you think we should help him?

- I'm getting mad now. Hey!

- After this bite.

- Hey, that's it.

Now, I'm gonna count to three.

Hey, wait a minute!

Okay! Get off!

My shoe!

Come back here with my shoe.

All right, people,

it's time for some karaoke.

What is she doing?

She can sing?

She can sing.

Kevin, enough. Kevin, please.

I didn't know you could sing that good.

Why you didn't say nothing?

Because before,

you were the enemy.

You know who can sing?

Galaktico can sing.

Hey.

Okay. All right, okay, okay.

Put that down, settle down

and put on your seat belt.

I know why your mama

won't let you have sugar.

Hyper down. You're like some kind

of crazy dog.

I know you are,

but what am I, Rover?

Nick, I don't feel so good.

Do you got anything to drink?

There you go.

I'm sorry, Nick, I accidentally

spilled a drop on the floor.

Little man,

don't even worry about it.

There's nothing more

that you can do to this car.

Oh, no!

I can't see. I can't see!

Is everybody all right?

I feel much better now.

Nick, where are my kids? You were

supposed to be here two hours ago.

We had a slight delay at the border.

We're gonna need

more paper towels.

Paper towels?

What's going on?

Nothing. We just pulled over

to clean out the Navigator.

Are you kidding me?

It's freezing outside, and you've got

my kids cleaning your precious car?

Suzanne, it's not like it seems, okay?

Well, it sounds pretty bad

from here.

Nick, if you're not here by 8:00,

you're gonna be in big trouble.

- Suzanne, I got this.

- Eight o'clock, Nick.

All right, guys, we gotta hustle.

Your mom's getting worried.

- But it stinks in here.

- Hold your breath.

What?

If we don't move...

...maybe it won't kill us.

Oh, man, you're scared of that deer?

He ain't gonna hurt you.

They come out of the woods when

they get cold. He's probably hungry.

Try this.

- Hey. Look what I got.

- Nick, deers are herbivores.

So what?

Everybody loves chocolate chip.

Hey, buddy, come on.

Cookie.

Okay, okay, hey, hey,

come on.

- No.

- What? He's not gonna hurt you.

Look, I'm right here with you.

Come on, come on. Come on.

Slow. Come on.

Slowly. Don't scare it. Get in there.

- What if he's rabid?

- Come on, come on. There we go.

There you go. There you go.

See, he's gentle.

He's not gonna hurt you.

- Give him another.

- No way.

- Now, look.

- Where's my camera?

Hey, hey. Hey.

Down, boy. Sit.

Hey, Bambi. Sit!

Come on, now.

Bambi.

Give him the look, Nick!

Give him the look!

All right, you want a piece of me?

Say uncle. Are you done?

Your head gotta go

over my fireplace?

- Show him who's boss, Nick.

- Now, just let it go.

Let it go.

Now, get your tail out of here

before I kick some deer butt.

You better run.

- I hope you got some nice shots.

- Yep.

Now help me find my keys.

Come on out of there.

If your mama ever asks...

...don't let her know

I know how to hot-wire a car.

But you don't know how to do it.

Quiet down out there.

Have patience.

- Turn it off, Nick!

- All right, calm down.

- Hurry up. It's loud.

- And scary.

This should do it.

- Nick, the car's on fire. It's burning.

- Oh, no.

It's gonna burn. Nick, hurry.

- Be careful.

- Come on, Nick, do it.

Put it out! Put it out!

It's gonna burn, Nick! Hurry!

This could be toxic.

Worthless.

- Galaktico!

- Kevin, step back. I got it.

Hey, Nick, don't forget me.

I'm over here.

I'm on the dashboard, remember?

Hey! Don't let me burn!

I'm a limited edition!

Oh, man.

I never even got to read the manual.

Hit the dirt!

Why?

Oh, no.

This is about a year's pay.

What did I do?

What did I do?

Why is this happening to me?

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Steven Gary Banks

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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