Arlo: The Burping Pig Page #5

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Come on, you gotta stop eating

those Starbursts before bed.

Mom, you don't believe me?

I promise there was,

there was a rat,

and, and it sounded just like...

[Arlo burps]

Like that.

- Talia?

- Yes?

- What was that?

- Nothing.

What was that burping

sound coming from your room?

Maybe it was my squeaky chair.

Mom, please! No, no!

No, no, no!

And extra super no!

Ladies.

That is not a rat.

That is definitely a pig.

You know, I thought

I was losing my mind.

You acting strange.

The...

the carrots in the blankets.

Talia, I can't believe you

didn't tell us about this.

Sorry.

We share everything

in this family.

What happens at work,

what happens at school.

Pigs.

He's gross.

- No, he isn't!

- He is too!

- I think he's handsome.

- You would.

[sighs] And when your father

hears about this,

- he's going to have a conniption.

- Yeah, he is.

He wouldn't even let me have a

goldfish as a pet when I was a kid.

He's definitely not

gonna let you keep a pig.

Well, maybe he doesn't

need to know right away.

Talia.

What do you call

this little guy?

His name's Arlo.

Totally gross.

How long has this

thing been in my house?

- He's been here for a week.

- A week?

That thing has been drinking out

of my water glass for a week?

I'm gonna be sick.

[Talia] Look, I was gonna

tell you guys.

I was just waiting

for the right moment.

Arlo might belong

to someone else.

Did you ever think about that?

I don't think he does.

I've taken him

on walks and everything.

Nobody's ever seen him before.

Well, he is not

sleeping in this house.

- No!

- Oh, really?

Why not?

Because Buster's a mean bully.

He barks and growls

at him like crazy!

[sighs]

Talia, I need you to make some lost and

found signs with a picture of your pig.

- His name's Arlo.

- I love that name.

You are so cute!

[laughs]

We are gonna post

the signs around town

to see if anyone comes

forward and claims him.

- But, Mom, it's not fair!

- It is entirely fair.

He could be some other

little girl's pig.

You wouldn't wanna go to jail

for pig-napping, would you?

It's the right thing to do.

Do you understand me?

Okay, yes. But if nobody comes,

can I keep him?

Look, here's the deal.

If nobody comes

forward to claim him,

he can stay here until

your father comes back.

But trust me, I've known

your dad for a long time.

There is no way he is

going to allow a pig

to live in this house.

I hate this stupid place!

I wanna go back to my old house!

I wanna go home!

Talia.

Oh, yeah. Right there.

That's the spot.

Thank you!

You're such a little ham.

Bertha maybe was right.

You are a little

pork chop fatty,

but you're my little

pork chop fatty.

You always know how

to make me laugh.

I love you, Arlo.

- Come on, Talia.

- Coming, Mom.

[sighs]

Bye, Arlo.

Later, kiddo.

Yeah. Gotcha!

[Jessica crying]

[Arlo squeaking]

Jessica, what's wrong?

Go away!

You wouldn't understand.

Is it cause of Arlo?

Great. So now I have to deal

with you and Porky Pig?

Hey, that's degrading!

Why can't you

just leave me alone?

[sighs]

When I'm upset,

I tell you stuff.

That's what sisters are for.

Mom is making me put up lost

and found signs for Arlo.

Someone might take him away!

Not to be completely

insensitive,

but I cannot write my paper

with you crying like that.

These walls are paper thin.

So what's wrong?

[sighs]

I didn't make the

cheerleading team.

- What?

- But you said you did.

I didn't. I lied.

- Well, why did you do that?

- I was embarrassed.

Anybody who's anybody is

on the cheerleading team.

And I just really

wanted to be popular.

And it should be easy when

you're the new girl, right?

Everybody likes the new girl.

[sighs] You guys probably

think it's stupid.

No, I don't.

I just don't know

why you care so much

about what other people think.

- It's just important to me.

- Why?

I don't know, it just is. I...

I never really thought about it.

And do you even

like cheerleading?

Not really. No.

[laughs]

I mean, they do all

these like pyramids,

and they stack everybody

up really high,

and every time

I do it I get terrified.

- [sighs]

- So maybe this is a good thing.

I don't know.

You should have heard

Marcia when she heard

I was pretending I made

the cheerleading team.

She called me a faker

in front of everybody.

It was so embarrassing.

So mean, Marcia

isn't a good friend.

Yeah, definitely not

somebody who I'd ever

wanna hang out with, ever.

Yeah, maybe you're right.

A real friend

likes you for being you.

You know what, squirt?

You're pretty smart.

Where did you learn that?

Arlo here.

[Arlo squeaking]

Arlo?

Yeah, Arlo.

He's a real friend.

Whether I'm happy or sad,

he loves me no matter what.

That's awesome.

You know what the best part is?

What?

If you let him,

he can cheer anybody up.

I don't think a pig's

gonna do the trick for me.

Can you at least let him try?

Jess, give Arlo a chance.

[Jessica sniffs]

Come here, Arlo.

[groans]

Okay, who needs some smiles?

- Oh.

- Yeah.

- Here.

- All right, picture time!

Get my good side!

[camera clicking]

Hashtag piggy selfie.

[girls laughing]

- He's adorable.

- Yeah, that's good.

I literally think that your fingers

are gonna fall off one of these days.

What?

What are you doing?

No!

You look so much better

without these glasses.

[groans]

Well, I can't really see, but I'm

pretty sure here comes trouble.

[groans]

- Mind if we join you?

- They don't mind.

- Right, ladies?

- Yeah, sure.

Awesome.

- Hey, you're Sandra, right?

- No.

Samantha.

Don't we have a class together?

She's in all the AP classes.

Oh.

Anyways, Jessie J,

I just wanted to make sure

you're not still upset over

the cheerleading fiasco.

She's over it.

That must have totally sucked.

[laughing]

No, I'm fine.

It's not a big deal.

Well, I know starting at

a new school can be tough.

You know, trying to fit in.

Be super popular.

Meet the cute guys.

Please.

Zack and Ari are checking

us out, girlfriend.

I mean, if you weren't a senior, I'd say

you could try out for the team next year.

- Hey, boys!

- Hey, Marcia. Robin.

- Hi, Zack.

- Hi, Ari.

Did you guys come

over to say hello?

Yeah, we were.

To them.

[spitting]

So, Marcia.

We'll see you around, right?

- Is it okay if we sit?

- Yeah, of course.

Hey, why'd you take

your glasses off?

I liked the whole

librarian thing.

It was kinda cool.

Hi.

Hey folks, Big Ernie here.

If you need a house,

why you call Big Ern.

If you need, uh, lawn pods,

lawn chairs, lawn gnomes.

We got pink flamingos. We got

termite control. Pest removal.

You name it, we got it.

Just dial 1-800-B-I-G-E-R-N-I.

That's 1-800-B-I-G-E-R-N-I.

And just remember, the E is

free and the donuts are on me!

[laughs]

[Samantha and Jessica laughing]

- Did you see her face?

- No, it was so good.

Hey, guys!

What's with them?

- Did anybody call?

- Nope.

- Really?

- Yes, really.

Arlo, did you hear that?

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