Arlo: The Burping Pig Page #6

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Nobody's called!

[phone ringing]

Maybe it's Daddy!

Hello?

Yes, hello?

I... I'm calling about my pig?

- Okay.

- Yeah, the little guy he,

you know, he gets

lost every once in a while.

He gets all turned around.

But I... I brought

him to the pig doctor

and, um, he and I think

he's got, um, porkzheimer's.

Listen, I really need him back.

Um, and, you know,

he's my best friend.

What can I tell you?

Okay, um, so do you

wanna come by and see?

Mister...

Ralph. The name's Ralph.

Yeah and in, in fact,

um, I know your address,

and, um, I'm like

right around the corner.

So this is great.

Okay, so we'll see you

in a few minutes then.

Thank you, ma'am.

Buh-bye.

Uh, so that was a gentleman.

Arlo might be his pig.

He's gonna come

by and, and look.

Oh, Talia.

Well, maybe the pig's

not his pig, right?

Yeah.

It might not be his.

It, I mean it's possible.

Mistaken pig identity?

[doorbell rings]

- Hi.

- Hi, there!

Hi, I'm Ralph. I called you

about my little piggy?

- Sure, come in.

- Thank you.

- Nice place you got here.

- Thank you.

Still have some work to do.

We're having the place

painted on Thursday.

Thursday, eh?

Hmm. Nice.

Hmm.

Hi, there.

So my husband, you know,

he should be back any minute.

He's got a laundry list

of things to do around here.

I'm sure you keep him real busy.

This are nice.

This real gold?

Yes. No, no, it's just,

it's a piece of junk.

Hmm, oh. Talia!

Will you please bring out Arlo?

[Arlo grunts]

Arlo!

There's my little buddy.

Where have you been?

I've missed you.

Did you just call him Arlo?

That's our name.

Well, sometimes I call him Arlo.

I mean he looks like an Arlo.

Doesn't he?

You know what?

Guess what Daddy has for you?

- Bam! Chocolate.

- Okay, that kinda smells good.

Wait, you can't

give him chocolate!

- Why not?

- Pigs can't eat chocolate.

They can get

really, really sick.

- He eats it all the time.

- I don't think this is your pig.

- You...

- Me, neither.

Well, you know what?

Um, what, maybe you're right.

My pig kinda has like a

birthmark on his head.

Kinda like a squished raspberry.

Like a Gorbachev thing.

Yeah, you, you know Ralph,

that is an honest mistake.

- It... yeah, um...

- You have a good night.

- Bye, girls.

- Good night.

- [sighs]

- What in the world was that?

- I don't know.

- At least I get to keep him!

Girls, I want you

to make sure you keep

all the windows

and doors locked.

I'll feel a lot safer when

Daddy gets home tomorrow.

- Hey, Tommy.

- Yes, Ms. Rose?

Would you please remember

to shut the door behind you?

Oh, right. Sorry. Dang!

Dang, dang, dang.

- The little piggy.

- Sorry, ma'am, I forgot.

Oh, don't worry about it.

So I'm just heading

to the gym now.

Sounds good, Ms. Rose.

I'm just finishing up here.

Great.

Oh, would you do me one favor

and just call me as

soon as you're done?

- Yes, ma'am.

- Okay.

- All right, thank you!

- Have a nice day, Ms. Rose!

I'll be sure to call you

just like you said!

Can I help you, mister?

Yeah, I, Tommy, right?

Do I know you?

I'm Mr. Rose.

- [laughs]

- Howdy!

My wife told me you've been

doing a great job, by the way.

Thank you. And I was careful

not to get any paint

on any of your

really nice stuff.

Very professional.

Very professional!

Oh, and I was extra,

especially careful

with that gorgeous vase

in the living room.

The, the vase?

Yeah, it, uh, thank God.

That's her prized possession.

That is the nicest

thing I have ever seen.

That thing must have set you

all back something serious!

Cause I was using the

newspaper to line the bottom

of my birdcage for my

parakeet a couple weeks back.

And I noticed that the vase

that got stolen from

town hall looks exactly

like the one in the living room.

Would you believe it?

- It, Tom...

- Ming dynasty.

- I watch Pawn Stars. [laughs]

- Yeah it, it,

- Tommy, tell you what.

- Heck, yeah!

Hey, just between us guys?

I got that at a flea

market for peanuts, okay?

- Whoo!

- But she thinks it's a real thing, so.

Oh, man!

Whoa, boy!

I won't say nothing

to the missus.

Oh, hey, uh, Mrs. Rose,

she just left.

I missed her by

two minutes I'll bet?

Oh, man, you're good. Yep!

That's right.

Now listen, I got a busy day.

I'm sure you do.

- You have a good day.

- I just wrapped things up here.

All righty.

Hey, I can show you the

finished product if you'd like.

- Well, yeah, you know...

- Come on, right this way.

You know what?

Paint's paint.

And I, and I'm sure you,

you did a great job.

Uh, but, you know,

I really gotta amscray,

if you know what I mean.

There's a little more

to it than that, sir.

Are you sure you

don't wanna see?

I... yeah, well, you know what?

I, I really have a full day.

And, I...

I gotta get going.

- Oh, Dr. Rose?

- Hmm?

You are a dentist, right?

Huh, oh, oh yeah,

yeah, yeah, yeah.

But you know what,

on my days off,

I'm just plain old Mr. Rose.

Well, Dr. Rose, I have

this toothache right here.

Ha, it, tuna fish?

For lunch, and onions.

You see that little

sucker right there?

Oh, uh, oh, yes.

Yeah I see it.

Well, it hurts every

time I eat ice cream.

What should I do?

Chew on the other

side for a while.

Oh, right.

- You know what I mean?

- Got it.

- Yeah.

- Good idea.

Well, anyway,

old pal, I'll see you.

And thank you for everything.

You've been great!

Hey, remember,

you floss twice a week.

Thank you Dr. Rose!

Man, I've been

flossing way too much.

[sighs]

Hmm.

Bye, bye Tommy!

Daddy knows

[scatting ]

Alone again

Naturally

Oh, no, not this creep again.

Oh, yes!

Old MacDonald had a farm

E-I-E-I-O

And on that farm

he had a pig

E-I-E-I-O

With a [oinks] here,

and a [oinks] there

Here a [oinks] there a

[oinks] everywhere a [oinks]

Old Mac

Oh, dang.

I almost forgot

to call Ms. Rose.

See you tomorrow.

Bye, bye!

[phone rings]

- Hello?

- Howdy, Ms. Rose. It's Tommy.

- Oh, hi, Tommy. - Just wanted to let

you know I finished the paint job.

Oh, great job.

Thank you so much.

Did you remember

to close the door?

- Didn't have to.

- What do you mean?

Didn't have to, Ms. Rose.

Your husband did it for me.

Wait, what are you

talking about, my husband?

As in the man you married.

Dr. Rose came home

just after you left. Ms. Rose?

Tommy, my husband's plane

hasn't even landed yet.

What are you talking about?

Well, that's strange,

cause I just left him at

your house a few minutes ago.

What did he look like?

He was a bunch older than you.

A little chubby, needs a shave.

I'm sure he's a real nice

person on the inside, though.

Uh, that's not my husband.

So there's another

Dr. Rose living with y'all?

That's okay by me.

I don't judge.

Ms. Rose, is something wrong?

I think there's an

intruder in my house.

An intruder!

It must be that creepy

guy from the other day.

Oh, God, the girls!

Don't you worry, Ms. Rose!

I'm on my way and I'm calling

the boys in blue!

Yee-haw!

[tires squealing]

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