Army of Darkness Page #2
- R
- Year:
- 1992
- 81 min
- 1,805 Views
Oh, God, I'm blind!
No, don't!
Yo, she-b*tch.
Let's go.
Ya-hoo.
If the Necronomicon fell into
the hands of the Deadites,
all mankind will be
consumed by this evil.
Now will thou quest
for the book?
ASH:
That one.(BOTH GASP)
Groovy.
(PEOPLE LAUGHING)
What's the matter?
You raised in a barn?
Shut the door.
Probably was raised in a barn
with all the other primitives.
The wise men say that thou art
The Promised One.
'Tis said that
thou wilt journey for
the book to help us,
and that thou wilt lead
get the book is to get home.
I believe that thou wilt
be leaving in the morning.
Don't touch that, please.
Your primitive intellect
wouldn't understand
alloys and compositions
and things with
molecular structures in the...
What are you doin'
here anyway?
I wanted to say
that all of my,
all of my hopes
and prayers go with you,
and I made this for thee.
Good, I could use
a horse blanket.
Give me some sugar, baby.
ASH:
Come on, boy!Steady now. Whoa.
What? What is it?
This path will lead you
to an unholy place.
A cemetery. There,
the Necronomicon awaits.
When thou retrievest the book
from its cradle,
you must recite the words,
"KIaatu barada nikto."
KIaatu barada nikto. Okay.
Well, repeat them.
KIaatu barada nikto.
Again!
I got it, I got it! I know
your damn words, all right?
Now you get this straight,
the both of you.
If I get that book,
you send me back.
After that, I'm history.
(HORSE WHINNYING)
ASH:
What is it, boy?Come on!
Come on!
(SCREAMING)
Come on!
Come on, you!
(SCREAMING)
(BANGING)
(CACKLING)
Hey, let's scare
this guy good! Come on.
Ramming speed!
MAN:
Ready, aim, fire!Get away!
Whoa!
Oh, God! Oh, no!
Oh...
Oh!
You lousy little...
MAN:
Oh, no!Oh, no! Oh, my!
(SCREAMS)
Lift up!
(SIZZLING)
Whoa!
(SINGING)
FaIIing down
FaIIing down
(GASPS)
My fair Iady
Is he up? How is he?
Hey, he's gettin' up.
What a horrible nightmare.
Wait a minute. Oh, God!
I can't move!
(SCREAMING)
And go!
Open wide.
Geronimo!
Hooray!
Hooray!
(CHOCKING)
Okay, little fellow. How about
some hot chocolate, huh?
(MAN SCREAMING)
How'd you like
the taste of that, huh?
How'd you like the ta...
(GRUNTING)
MAN:
(MUFFLED) Let me out!Oh, dear God,
it's growing bigger!
(HOWLING)
I'm blind. I'm blind.
Yip, yip!
Oh, hey!
Where are you takin' me?
What are you?
Are you me?
I'm bad Ash,
and you're good Ash.
You're goody little two-shoes.
(SINGING)
Goody IittIe two-shoes
LittIe goody two-shoes
LittIe goody two-shoes
LittIe goody two-shoes
LittIe goody two-shoes
LittIe goody two-shoes
(HORN BLOWING)
LittIe goody two-shoes
Good, bad.
I'm the guy with the gun.
That'll teach you.
Yeah, that'll teach you.
the Necronomicon!
You'll die in the graveyard
before you get it!
Hey...
What's that you got
on your face?
Huh?
I'll come back for you!
Come on, boy!
Three books?
Wait a minute. Hold it.
Nobody said anything
about three books.
Like, what am I
supposed to do?
Take one book,
or all books, or, or what?
Well.
(ASH YELLING)
Whoa. Wrong book.
(SCREAMING)
You!
I'll get back to you.
Well,
seems fairly obvious.
Wait a minute, the words.
All right, all right,
all right.
Say the words.
KIaatu barada...
Iu...
Necktie.
Nectar, nickel.
Noodle. It's an "N" word.
It's definitely an "N" word.
It's definitely an "N" word.
(COUGHING)
KIaatu barada n...
Okay, then.
That's it.
(THUNDER RUMBLING)
Hey. Wait a minute.
Everything's cool.
I said the words. I did!
No, wait! Oh!
You people, seek cover!
To the parapet!
Seek your children!
(HORSES WHINNYING)
Steady the horses!
Something's wrong.
Something's amiss.
(SCREAMING)
Where'd you go?
Where'd you g...
Oh! I'll crush ya!
I'll mash ya into paste,
you bony cre...
garbage boy. I did my part.
Now I want back,
like in the deal.
I:
live
again.
There! The Promised One!
The Promised One's returned!
SENTRY:
Raise the portcullis!Welcome home!
MAN:
We're saved!WOMAN:
The Necronomicon!MAN:
Truly he isThe Promised One!
MAN 2:
He's brought the Necronomicon!
How are ya?
He's brought the book!
Yeah, great, great.
Good boy!
Get the f*** outta my face!
The Necronomicon, quickly.
Did you bring
the Necronomicon?
Yeah, it's, it's just that...
Just what?
Nothin'. Here.
(PEOPLE GASPING)
Now send me back.
Like in the deal.
When you removed the
Necronomicon from the cradle,
did you speak the words?
Yeah, basically.
Did you speak the exact words?
Look, maybe I didn't say every
single, little tiny syllable,
no, but basically
I said 'em, yeah.
Dung-eating fool!
Thou hast doomed us all!
When thou misspoke the words,
the army of the dead awoke!
Now, whoa, whoa,
right there, spinach chin.
You said you could
clean this mess up
once you got that book.
You said there was a passage
that could get rid of this
thing and send me back.
It's true,
the book still possesses
the power to send you back,
but to us it is useless!
The evil has a terrible hunger
for the Necronomicon,
and it will come here
to get it.
We had a deal.
You wanted the damn book,
I got it for ya.
I did my part,
now you send me back.
ARTHUR:
Very well.As we are men of our word,
to your own time.
Yeah?
MAN:
I thought he was the one.Yeah, right.
'Cause that was the deal.
So when do you think we can
start with all the thing
and the...
WOMAN:
He's nothin'but a traitor, he is!
When do you think we can start
with all the
ceremony and...
Wretched excuse for a man!
The wise men were fools
to trust in you.
SOLDIER:
I knew he couldn't be trusted.
MAN:
We put our trust in him.thou wilt help us.
Oh, Sheila, don't you get it?
It's over.
I didn't have what it took.
So long.
But what of the things
that we've shared?
What of all the sweet words
that you spoke in private?
Oh, well...
Well, that's just what
we call "pillow talk," baby.
That's all.
It was more than that.
thou wilt stay and save us.
I...
(SOBS)
Coward!
(SQUAWKING)
SENTRY:
Look there! A demon!Ash! Help me!
Sheila!
Shoot the bloody thing!
Hold your arms!
You'll hit the girl!
Me sword!
Damn you!
Dig, damn you!
Dig faster!
worm-infested son of a b*tch
that ever died in battle!
Thank you, sir!
You there, handsomely now.
Aye, my liege.
and get my book!
Hoist, you damnable varlets!
(COUGHING)
Welcome back to the land
of the living.
Now pick up a shovel
and get digging!
Bring on the wench!
Gimme me some sugar, baby.
(SCREAMING)
Well.
Now, ain't you
Don't touch me,
you foul thing!
Come on.
That's it.
We got plans for you,
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Submitted on August 05, 2018
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"Army of Darkness" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 25 Jul 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/army_of_darkness_3103>.
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