Arthur Page #2

So that he never had to see this.

In fairness,

those two told me they were over 18.

And that they weren't men.

It's terrible the way you find out.

Who is this lovable rogue who's rough

around the edges, but with stars in his eyes?

What forgivable antics.

Who could be anything other than charmed

by this delightful individual?

- Congratulations.

- How can you squander...

...your considerable intelligence

on idiocy like this?

It's quite easy.

I don't consider it to be idiocy...

...rather a savantish gift

for defying death with fun.

That's your justification?

That's why you crashed a Batmobile?

Yes, it is. Are we done?

Sit down.

When the sole heir of a corporation as big

as ours gets arrested, it frightens investors.

The nonsense has to stop.

As the charming, coffee-colored gentleman

who runs this country said...

...the time has come

to set aside childish things.

I don't think

you can say "coffee-colored. "

So I've arrived at a solution.

- Susan Johnson.

- Interesting.

Dresses well.

Borderline personality disorder.

How is that a solution?

You're going to marry her, Arthur.

- Why?

- Susan is a very impressive woman.

Lovely, yes.

She's certainly in control of that beast.

Capable woman, and quite willing to help

poor people if there's a camera nearby.

Actually, if you want videos of Susan,

you should come to my apartment.

- I've got one that'll knock your socks off.

- Bach Worldwide has been run...

...by a Bach for generations.

With Susan as one of us...

...investors will be comforted to know the

line of succession doesn't end in a bottle.

When did you become so cynical?

Marriage isn't a tool

to protect a corporate image.

It's to validate unwanted pregnancy.

If that's how you feel, Arthur,

you give me no choice.

As of this moment, you are cut off.

What do you mean "cut off"?

Cut off from you and the?

You don't mean cut off from the?

The money, Arthur.

No. I'm not gonna allow you

to manipulate me, Vivienne.

I shall get married when I fall in love.

I respect your integrity.

You've just lost $950 million.

Actually, Susan is a very special girl,

isn't she?

With that mouth,

that velvety, beautiful mouth...

...like a clown's mouth.

But not in a bad way.

Like a sexy clown.

And she'll make a wonderful wife.

Yeah. I mean,

who wouldn't wanna marry a sexy clown?

Congratulations, Vivienne. You win.

I don't respect you, Arthur...

...but I do applaud your talent

for self-preservation.

Congratulations. You're gonna be

a wealthy man for the rest of your life.

That's all I've ever wanted to be.

The ring your father

gave your mother, I believe.

It's like an ice rink for a mouse.

I don't like Susan.

Well, I don't like you very much and we've

been happily stuck together for 30 years.

I know it's not perfect,

but Susan is smart and capable...

...and you need a woman like that

to look after you.

I think I already have one of those.

In fact, do you want it?

Hobson, will you carry on

being my nanny?

This is just my mother

trying to control me.

Hey, Hobson, do you have the checkbook?

I wanna squander some wealth.

Ten thousand dollars

for this item from the czar's collection.

Are we all done at 10,000? Ten thousand

dollars going once, going twice.

Twenty thousand dollars of money!

Twenty thousand dollars is the bid.

Thank you, sir. Do I hear 30?

Do I hear 30,000?

Thirty thousand dollars, please.

Thirty thousand.

Thirty-five thousand.

How dare you.

It's a challenge you want, is it?

Yeah, I want a challenge, plus I bid first.

That is irrelevant.

The highest number has supremacy.

You've clearly never been to an auction.

That's tit for tat.

That's exactly how the situation

in the Middle East began.

You leave me no choice.

One hundred thousand dollars

and one penny...

...because you, sir, are a vile spendthrift.

Well, that's the first sensible thing

you've said all day.

Sold to one of the Mr. Bachs

for $100,000 and one penny.

- Thank you, sirs.

Congratulations.

Hey, come on, Hobson.

You know I've always coveted

the cutlery of Czar Nicholas II.

- Me too.

Oh.

Our last item up for bid today:

The suit in which Abraham Lincoln

delivered his second inaugural address.

Let's start the bidding at 50,000.

Do I hear 50,000?

I'll take it.

And the teleportation

device in which it stands.

If you think this represents a victory

over your mother's financial tyranny...

...you're deluded.

- Thanks for the spoon, Arthur.

- Anytime. Buy me a fork one day.

- Where's Bitterman with the car?

He said he was gonna be

by the big gray thing.

- Where?

- He said...

...the big gray sculpture thing

with things on it.

It was like a riddle.

He can be very vague.

It's the blind leading the drunk.

Hobson, you find Bitterman

while I wander off.

Wow.

What is this for?

Where's everyone going?

NAOMl:
This is actually not Grand Central

Station, it's Grand Central Terminal.

- Oh.

- Oh!

- Sorry.

- No, no, I was static in a thoroughfare.

Uh, I'm lost. Do you know where I can get

a drink, please?

Um...

This is really all I have.

Good luck.

- Come on.

- Coins.

- I played with these when I was a boy.

NAOMl:
Let's keep going. Time's a wasting.

Speaking of time...

...the clock behind me is one of the

most expensive clocks in the world.

NAOMl:
Thousands of people

pass through here every day...

...and no one ever bothers to look up.

It's magical. It's the only place

in Manhattan where you can see the stars.

But it wasn't always that way...

Oh, you again.

If you look in the corner you can see

one dirty brick...

...and the whole ceiling used to be

like that until it was renovated in 1998.

Wow, this is brilliant. If you like ceilings,

I've got a beautiful one above my bed.

That sounded cheeky.

I didn't mean that. It lights up.

Thanks for that.

If you direct your attention to the

opposite corner, you'll see a...

...police officer.

- Miss, I warned you about this.

You don't have a tour license

and now you're impeding foot traffic.

Come on, up, up, everybody up.

Officer, which law prevents

this radiant stranger...

...from finding the magical

in the mundane?

- MTA Code 1085.1, Section 5.

- Could you be more specific?

Hey. Hey!

- Oh, there's a chase. We're in a chase.

Sir, grab my Lincoln stick.

Chase!

My mind is racing. My heart is pounding.

This is my first chase, and I love it.

- Let me through, I'm a free spirit!

West on 42nd.

This is what I live for!

We've got a runner.

A chase is happening!

This is a genuine chase!

Oh! I'm... I...

- No, no, no.

- I was gonna go get my license.

You ran from me, Naomi.

Now I gotta take you in.

Besides, you've had three warnings

for operating an illegal tour.

Except this isn't an illegal tour...

...because these people aren't tourists,

they're our family.

Yes. They are, they're my family.

That's my family.

We're having a family reunion.

Reunion. Uh, that, for example,

is Uncle Stuart waving there.

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