Arthur Christmas Page #6

tripping over your dog.

lt was hilarious.

Dear Alessandro...

...l'm sorry your family's

had a hard year, but Santa is real.

Dear Lars, l promise Santa will come.

He's the greatest man ever.

-Can l burn this?

-Sure.

There's millions like it.

This picture.

This drawing!

lt isn't of Dad...

...or you...

...or Steve.

This is Santa!

And as long we get the bike to Gwen

before she wakes up, then Santa came!

And he cares!

Excuse!

Jingle bells, jingle bells

Jingle all the way

Oh, what fun it is to reach

Gwen Hines on Christmas Day

Jingle Bells

This boat smells

Three thousand miles to go

Oh, dear.

l've seen this before.

Sleigh fever, they call it.

Pressure of Christmas

sends a man doolally-tap.

Santa Claus XVl got it, 1 802.

Every child that year got a sausage

nailed to a piece of bark.

Arthur, do you really think you can

row the Atlantic Ocean in the next...

-...37 minutes?

-lt's not...

...too late yet.

l just have to keep going.

We need a blunt instrument.

Knock him out and regroup.

Make a legal U-turn,

then slight right in 4228 miles.

You do know

we're going round in circles?

You know, we're not the only ones.

Maybe l will see Evie again.

-What do you mean?

-Reindeer are...

...brave, powerful beasts...

...but they're also dappled cretins

with twigs on their heads.

They'll just keep going in a straight line

right round the world.

They'll be way up in the sky, flying...

...at unimaginable speed,

but they'll pass...

-...right over our heads.

-Great!

We can get the sleigh back!

Chief De Silva.

-Where is this UFO?

-lt's circling the Earth, ma'am.

Nineteen minutes ago,

it went into orbit.

You? Up there? Catch that with this?

Magic dust.

You crack it over your head.

You'll have to focus. The sleigh'll be

coming at you at 45,000 miles an hour.

-45,000--?

-You'll be torn...

...in half!

Depends on the angle the sleigh hits.

You might just get beheaded.

l've got a phobia of being beheaded,

and heights and speed and reindeer...

...and buttons.

Buttons?

Yeah, l'm pretty much scared

of everything.

Gwen thinks you're coming.

You can't do this. Yes, you can!

No, you can't. Yes, you can!

Come on, Arthur!

Don't worry. Only a raving lunatic--

l have to worry!

lt's the only thing l'm good at!

Worry me.

The sleigh'll be back any minute.

Come on. Worry me, quickly!

lmagine Gwen, all alone...

-...nothing under the tree.

-Here we go.

No! Don't like this! Stop! Stop!

Get me down!

The tears as she finds

she's been left out.

Screaming, "Santa didn't come!"

Oh, Gwen.

No! lt's just...

-...too high!

-Gwen in the street...

...surrounded by kids

on new bikes, pointing:

"That's the girl that Santa hates!"

She runs away, alcoholic by the age

of 9. Dead before she's even--!

She may never build

a snowman again!

What if there are buttons on the sleigh

l don't know about?!

Here it is!

How do you think he's...?

Fine, fine. Probably just....

So how come they didn't

scrap the sleigh, sir?

l threatened the elves.

Said l'd feed them to the polar bears.

Elf, how do you fancy being the one

to tell his parents about all this?

Arthur!

-You did it!

-l did it with worry!

Oh, l was sure you'd die. lt was great!

Proceed to the highlighted route.

Proceed to the highlighted....

Just keep worrying about Gwen.

l'll find a way there, boy.

Whatever it takes.

To Trelew!

Margaret.

Hand me my Me suit.

All sorted. Steve's...

...holding the fort...

...while l deliver the present, yes...

...and find Arthur and Father.

Well done, dear.

Trelew's on a course of 1 87.7 degrees

from the geographic pole...

...but as it's the old sleigh...

...allow a drift margin

of 1 000 miles either side...

...of the meridian.

Got a sweater for Arthur...

...your father's pills...

...and some nice sweet tea.

Curtains.

-S-1 dented.

-Sir. Sir!

Big scratch...

...down side.

"Popped out to take present.

Turkey sandwich in fridge.

Mum and Dad."

Espresso machine broken.

That idiot, Arthur. He's sent...

...everyone crazy.

He'll destroy Christmas.

And you'll never get to be Santa.

Steven!

23 Mimosa Avenue, Trelew.

Malcolm...

...there's no harm in using a manual.

-Men.

-Margaret, l order you to disembark.

lt's not safe.

Piffle. l did a microlight flying course

on the lnternet.

lt can't be that different.

Steve.

You've dented it!

You take it out without asking?

Malcolm, you told me he knew.

You know how Steve feels

about his S-1 .

lt's my S-1 . S for "Santa."

l'm flying to this child.

Of course she's all that matters.

Not me, your son.

Not the 2 billion things

l did right tonight. No!

This is about that pool table, isn't it?

l told you, you should've written to me.

l was 8. You're my dad!

For goodness sake!

Arthur and Grandsanta are out there...

...probably not wearing

nearly enough layers...

...and you two are bickering over

a big red toy?!

l'm not bickering.

lf Steven could just...

...stand back--

Air bag.

You drive, Steven.

Thank you.

So since gift delivery

to child 47785BXK...

...is all that seems...

...to matter...

...l'll do it myself.

Then we'll pick up Arthur and Grandsanta

from whatever ditch they ended up in.

Maximum thrust.

When Santa said he'd be right back...

...what do you think he--?

He's not coming back!

The Santas are leaving!

Children don't matter?

Christmas doesn't matter!

Nothing matters!

lt's like 1 81 6!

Abandon the North Pole!

-Everybody, panic!

-Are you sure you want...

...to delete Christmas?

Meltdown:
1 0 minutes.

-Head south!

-lt's all south from here, you fool!

l know where we can find...

...a map, lad!

A bit...

...risky, this.

Breaking the rules,

even in the old days.

There!

Biggest map in the world!

Dash!

Friends, on this night of peace,

we stand confronted...

...by an unknown danger.

Aliens. Aliens from space.

-Blast them from the skies!

-Let us do an autopsy.

But maybe the aliens come in peace?

They burst an inflatable...

...Santa Claus in Toronto.

On Christmas night!

-What a terrible thing.

-Let us attempt contact...

...but be ready to save our planet.

Hold tight, lad. This is where it gets...

...really rough.

Not now...

...you sack of antlers.

Alert level six.

lt's coming down through

the atmosphere.

We'll see it.

Forty-six, 45...

...44, 43....

They'll be waiting for us, sir.

We were on the news.

All their technology against my Evie.

Oh, come on. Let's do it with worry!

Santa mustn't be seen, eh, lad?

Let's give them...

...something to shoot at.

We have visual.

Here it comes.

Take us to your leader.

England!

No sign of anyone.

-The sun's coming up!

-Come on, lad! You can...

...do it! Move your hooves!

Mankind greets you. Do you copy?

Season's greetings from mankind.

Good morning, do you copy?

The hull is some kind of

woody substance, ma'am.

Like wood.

Coated in lead paint.

The engine seems to be alive.

And furry.

Come on, lad!

Put your back...

...into it!

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