Artists and Models Page #3

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Sorry, Mr. Murdock.

Get yourself another artist,

someone who can bleed

to suit your wife.

Please, let's talk this over again.

Now, come on.

Now, please, Abigail, don't leave me.

Oh, miss, I'm Rick Todd

and this is Eugene Fullstack,

and the landlady said

we'd find Abigail Parker here.

She's busy now in surgery.

Good. We'll wait. Sit down.

Look, If Miss Parker

doesn't back up your statement,

we're back on the asphalt,

you know that?

Unless you can prove you weren't

trying to make time with the fat lady.

What "make time"?

Who's got that kind of time?

I told you, Rick, I'm still all excited

about when I saw the Bat Lady.

- You like the Bat Lady?

- Oh, Yeah.

And I just found out she's for real.

Sure she is.

She's a living doll.

- Do you... Do you know her?

- Intimately.

In fact, she's even more darling.

in person.

No fooling.

Boy, those lovely lips.

Those red, inviting, luscious lips,

like two strips of liver

gleaming in the moonlight.

What's wrong with your mouth?

Is it sore?

No. I just thought

I felt a pucker coming on.

Oh. And her eyes,

those magnificent eyes.

What's wrong with yours?

You got astigmatism?

No. I was just uncrossing them.

Hey, they really pay money

for this kind of drawing?

What's the matter

with Abigail's drawing?

Oh, bad, very bad.

Look at all that.

Look, the legs, they look like arms.

You should see the Bat Lady's legs.

- Oh, miss?

- Yes?

Your seam's crooked.

Thanks heaps.

- Yes, Mr. Murdock?

- Bessie, I need an artist.

Get me the names of the best artists

that we have on file.

Yes, sir. I'll bring you the folder.

Did you hear what he said?

He needs an artist.

- Did you hear him?

- I'm way ahead of you, junior.

Look, when Bessie comes out,

you grab her and you kiss her.

- Who wants to kiss her?

- You do. I gotta get into that folder, boy.

Yeah, but I got a blister on my lip.

Look, if you could pretend

that beans are T-bone steaks,

you can pretend that she's the Bat Lady.

She might fight you, but you remember,

you're gonna do this

for your old Kangaroo Patrol pal.

Yeah. Pouches forever.

- Okay, kiss, kiss.

Remember, kiss, kiss.

- Yeah.

Will you watch my switchboard, please?

I won't only watch your switchboard,

but I'll buzz your lights

and tangle your plugs.

- Come here, baby.

- Not with your friend watching.

- Oh, he's gone.

- What are we waiting for?

- My Sagittarius is rising. Hang on, boy.

- No, you're supposed to fight me.

- You're supposed to fight me. No!

- No, no, no. Don't fight.

Easy, gal,

he just got some new bearings.

Here, you dropped this.

The stars were right.

My Jupiter's jumping.

Now, stout, fella.

I think we're getting somewhere now.

Yeah, and I think

my blister's getting a blister.

Look, it's smart business

to get in good with the boss' secretary.

Yeah? Why don't you

go into business for yourself?

Put more men on the job.

Here she comes. Grab her, kiss her.

Kiss her again!

- What do you think you're doing?

- Oh, I'm awfully sorry, ma'am.

I thought you were someone else.

He told me to kiss you,

except you're not you, are you?

You told him to kiss me?

Lady, if I had known

he was gonna kiss you,

I wouldn't have sent a boy

to do a man's job.

That's for the man.

You can tell him the job's filled.

- Oh, look what you've done.

- Oh, the Bat Lady.

Are you Miss Abigail Parker,

Miss Parker?

Are you Miss Parker, Miss Parker?

I'm Eugene Fullstack.

- You should lay off protein.

- No, that's my name.

Look, I'm sorry he kissed you,

and he's sorry he kissed you,

aren't you, Eugie?

- No, I liked that a lot.

- No. Look, come here.

You stay here and see if you can

sell Murdock one of your stories.

Maybe between the both of us,

one of us might get a job. Go on.

Hold it, Miss Parker.

Oh, you gotta help us.

My partner said he went to your door

last night and saw a real Bat Lady.

Yes. My model was posing.

Now may I go?

Well, what's the rush?

I never met a lady cartoonist before.

All lady cartoonists

are extremely grateful.

Well, I'm an artist myself.

What do you say

we get together sometime

and compare mad scientists?

I sure love the way

you draw the Bat Lady.

Lovely lines.

I like the way

your bone structure is structured.

Dandy "tibialis gastrocnemiuses", also.

- Going up?

- Yes, down.

Try sideways,

then once around the park.

Parker will do better, dear.

She's going to do substantially better.

That's what I said.

Yeah, so don't fret

your ever-loving fretter.

I said yes!

The sales of the next issue

will show a substantial increase.

Yes.

Throw in a couple of "uh-huhs"

once in a while, will you?

Great Scott!

What are you supposed to be?

I'm supposed to be Eugene Fullstack.

No, I am Eugene Fullstack.

Are you Mr. Murdock?

All right, come on, speak up, boy.

Come on, speak up.

Speak, speak, speak.

Speak. What's on your mind?

Spit it out, boy. Spit it out.

But, you see, I write little stories

for children. Children's stories, see?

- And I came up...

- You're... Oh, you're a writer. Oh!

You have that thin, emaciated,

anaemic look, bloodless look,

probably very much in need of

a publisher for a great new comic book.

Well, why didn't you say so?

Come on, now.

Wipe that helpless look off your face.

Come right up to me and say,

"Mr. Murdock, I've got a great new idea

for a new comic book.

"Are you interested?" Come on.

"Mr. Murdock,

"I've got a new, great idea

"for a new comic book!

"Are you interested?"

- No. No.

- Oh.

But wait. Wait, wait, wait.

But maybe an idea

growing out of the brain

that probably lies behind that face

may be just what

my wife's separate maintenance needs.

Lad, what's the idea?

Give me the gist of it.

What is it all about? Give me the idea.

Well, you see,

I write about all my little friends.

- Oh, yes.

- Little Goosey Goose

and little Freddie Field Mouse,

who live in a little corn field.

Now, these little friends of mine...

Little Goosey Goose

and little Freddie Field Mouse?

You see that little window

back there, boy?

Yes, sir.

Open it a little. Then jump.

All right. No, no!

I'd like to see Mr. Murdock.

Good afternoon, madam.

At your service.

Then you, Mr. Murdock,

are responsible for my son, Richard.

Oh, how do you do, Mrs. Murdock?

Nice to know you.

I am not Mrs. Murdock.

I am Mrs. John Stilton.

Oh.

As publisher of "The Bat Lady",

you are responsible

for my son's condition.

And as I am chairman of

the Second Elementary School District,

I am going to file a petition

against your comic book.

Before I do, however,

I think you ought to have the pleasure

of my son Richard's company

While I go shopping,

to observe for yourself

the effect your horror literature

has on undeveloped minds!

Yes, but, madam, as a mother,

aren't you just a little bit worried about

leaving your undeveloped mind here?

Your mother is the one to be worried.

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