Ashens and the Quest for the Gamechild Page #4

Hey, Geoff...

Help us with this.

Careful...

Oh, a door!

Yeah, a locked door...

Hang on, I can take care of this...

No, I can't, it's magnetically sealed.

There's got to be a trigger around here somewhere.

Well, what does the trigger look like?

I'll know it when I see it.

Well, this shouldn't be here.

I reckon these are musical notes.

Thank you, Professor.

Something happened!

That's good, Stuart...

I don't think we have much time though.

Argh!

Umm...

Oh God, right... Uhh...

That's it!

Oh, I wish I paid more attention in piano lessons.

Uhh...

There's no such note as "H"!

What says "H"?!

Oh... Thank God.

See, that is why our Council Tax is so high!

I thought we were going to die.

Right! Well, Geoff. Meet the Oracle.

Oh wow!

It looks like total crap!

Early '80s Z80 compatible, with proprietary serial buffer.

Used as a localised teletext server.

Stuart, some of the stuff you know is so inspiring!

Or really... Really depressing!

So, this shouldn't be too hard to access, then.

Oi! Shift over!

I'll find the back door. I always find the back door.

Yeah, I've heard the rumours! Look, just shift!

No! You shift!

What is going on?!

Half the bloody floor is missing out there!

Oh, yeah! Sorry about that.

I want you out! Now!

Come on, Marian, we only just got in!

The floor's already collapsed, so it's not going to get any worse.

Okay, you can stay.

On one condition.

You have to let me join you on this mission.

Oh... No.

That's not a good idea.

It'd be really boring.

Stuart, I get about 3 people a month in here.

Anything you're doing has to be more exciting than that!

Come on, Stuart!!! Let her join us, it'll be great!!!

Come on, we could do with the company!

We'd be like The Three Musketeers!

Except, you know, they were guys, and, you know...

You're obviously a lady...

A very, very lovely lady.

Well, thank you, Geoff.

That's enough of that!

Fine, you can come, but don't slow us down, yeah?

I won't! I promise!

Right, do you need help with the password?

No, of course not!

Aren't you a clever boy?!

Right. Time to find the Game Child.

Oh...

It looks like a map...

But, what use is a map without any place names?

I'll print it anyway.

Come on, let's go!

Yes!

I've got it!

Right, are we ready to go?!

Yeah... I think that's it.

Okay, I just need to lock up!

Ooh, we're going on a little adventure!

This is going to be so much fun!

Come on, let's go!

Let's go!

What are you doing?!

What about Marian?!

What are we doing?

Come on!

She's still in there!

I know, come on!

Stupid! Stuart... Ashens...

Ashens.... Ass Head!

Stupid name, with his stupid YouTube channel.

Stupid, stupid, stupid!

Oh... Hello, sorry we're closed.

We're not here to take out any books... You idiot.

You know what? I've had a really horrible day, and you're very annoying.

So leave.

I was just telling your friend. We're closed. Now get out!

Oh, we'll go...

But you'll be joining us.

What are you talking about?!

Get off of me!

We shouldn't have done that, Stuart, she seemed treally nice!

She is, she is really nice.

I just don't want to get her mixed up in this insanity.

I knew it! You like her, don't you?

You like her!

# Ashens and Marian sitting in a tree...

# K-I-S-S-I-N-G

# F-U-

Yeah! Alright!!!

That's enough of that!

So what's the problem? She obviously likes you!

I don't want to talk about it.

Oh, come on, Stuart, don't be like that.

I like to keep my life simple.

I'm not accountable to anybody else.

Nobody is accountable to me.

Otherwise things get messy.

Oh, God, that is ridiculous!

You're not an island, Stuart.

# "No man is an island".

Well it works for me.

I don't think it does.

Just drop it, yeah?

Come on, Captain Unaccountable, what are you avoiding?

Geoff. Enough.

Ooh, what's the matter with you?

Fine! Alright, you really want to know?

Of course I do.

Well, at school I was the weird kid, who knew all the answers,

and was obsessed with tat, and you know...

That's not really a recipe for popularity or friends...

Then at university I thought I'd found somewhere I fit in, but...

Then the Professor went and... Well...

You know that story.

Whenever I get close to people I get hurt.

I was your friend at school.

Yeah... Yeah, you were.

Well, has it been that horrible having me about?

Yes, it's been the worst thing that's ever happened to me in my entire life!

Geoff's right, Ashens.

You can't keep shutting people out forever.

It makes for a very lonely life.

Trust me, I know.

Exactly.

See, that's what I've been trying to tell him.

He just doesn't listen.

A life without risk is a life half-lived.

Do you mind? This is a private conversation.

I'm sorry.

So where are we heading?

Well, I know someone who would help us with the map.

It's just that he's in a secure psychiatric facility.

Seriously?!

Are none of your acquaintances not total nutjobs?!

Let me do the talking...

I've got a fake I.D. Card.

Okay.

Hello, Wesley.

Nice to see you again.

Lovely weather we're having for this time of year...

Nice for this month, on average... Umm...

You've got ten minutes

Hello!

I can smell your thoughts!

Eurgh!

Oh! Hello there!

How's it going?!

I'm fine, cheers!

How's you?

I'm not too bad, considering I've been in here for several years for no good reason!

You killed seventeen people because they beat your high score at Donkey Kong, Larry.

Well... There's that...

Who's your mate?

I'm Chef Excellence!

Well you want to be careful about going on adventures with him!

Last time I was with him, I lost one of my fingers.

But you've got five fingers!

I had six!

It's true...

Look, we need some information.

Anything you want, mate.

About the Game Child.

Anything except that, mate.

Look, can you just have a look at this map, and tell us what place it is?

I've told you about the Game Child before.

I'm not telling you.

Please! It's really important.

-Oi! This I.D. Card's a fake!!!

Run!

It's in Sadonion!

Run!

Ashens?

Sadonion...

I know where that place is.

Oh, damn it, Ashens!

I had better go and find him,

otherwise he'll be calling me with his arse all day!

Argh!

Geoff?

Geoff?

Geoff!

Geoff! Geoff!

Over here, mate!

Where have you been?

I got lost for a second.

I was really worried.

I'm fine.

I just got sidetracked.

I thought you'd been captured or something!

Yeah, you would have loved that, wouldn't you?

What? What are you talking about?

Admit it. You don't want me on this mission, and you have never wanted me around!

No! That's not true!

It is true!

You'll just ditch me.

Just like everyone else has my entire life.

Look, I don't know what's gotten into you, but I should have left you in there with all the other lunatics!

Yeah...You're right...

I'm not right, am I?

At least you're not wearing that Chef's hat anymore.

Come on, let's go.

Stuart Ashen!!!

Bloody hell!

What are you doing here?!

You've been arse-dialling me all day!!!

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