Ashens and the Quest for the Gamechild Page #7

No! They've taken her captive!

Really?!

Yeah!

I've got an idea!

You seen the original Star Wars?

Yeah! Of course I have!

I've seen all the Star Wars films.

Now, you remember with Luke and Han, dress up in Stormtrooper armour to rescue Leia from the Death Star?

Yeah...

We could do exactly that!

Hang on, mate.

That's not the right holster for that blaster rifle!

I think I know where we went wrong.

Right, what's the plan?

Well, the good thing about my betrayal was I was able to find out where they're keeping Marian and the Game Child.

Excellent!

All we have to do is hack into their computer system and override their security.

Which you should be able to do in no time at all.

Thanks, Geoff, but I'm sure you can handle this.

Thanks, Stuart.

Well, it's time to do some serious hacking!

Good work, Geoff, good work.

Uhh... Thanks...

There they are, level B.

This way.

Twenty years! Twenty years!

That's where we need to go.

But wait a second...

That's the guy they replaced me with.

That's Chef Brilliance!

But it looks like he's been booted down to security.

Well that must make you happy.

You know what? It doesn't.

I'll create a distraction and draw him away from the door.

No, don't worry about that. We'll work something out together.

It's alright, Stuart. I want to do this.

... women. Baguette cars! Living the high life! I was living the dream!

Bloody security duty! If my mother could see me now...

Oi!

Ashens... With an "S"...

Aren't you tired of losing to me?!

Even I'm bored of it!

You're not going to win this time!

You're old.

A Relic of a bygone era.

I am the better man in every way.

You're just an-

Ow!

Idiot.

You!

Why did you have to come back and take my job?!

It was my job first!

You were gone!

It was mine! Mine! Mine!!!

Oh, Marian, I am so sorry about this!

Alright there?

It's fine! Just bloody hurry up before they come back!

Alright, I've never actually done this before.

I met your ex-girlfriend.

So that's the type you go for, is it? Completely mental?

It was a long time ago!

I'm going to have to cut this. Hold still.

Quick!

Yep, it's going.

Stewie.

Step away from your little girlfriend.

Uh-uh! Back up!

No misbehaving now.

Stuart!

I know I haven't been very nice to you, Stuart,

but I still need your help.

It seems that Game Child is encrypted, and I really need access to it.

What you really need is access to psychiatric help!

N-n-no! Don't do that!

Aww, that's so sweet! Aww...

I'll give you one minute before I pull the trigger.

Starting...

Now.

This is ridiculous! This thing can't be encrypted!

But it is...

You want to do this?

Bring it on!

I'm sure you want to know what is so secret about the Game Child.

It's something so special that even you didn't know.

When assembled together correctly, the Game Child makes a nuclear bomb!

Good God! What are you talking about?!

You're as mental as your father!

He wasn't mental!

It was a misdiagnosis!

45 seconds.

It was all very Top Secret.

It was at the end of The Cold War.

You couldn't walk more than ten feet without tripping over some plutonium!

A deranged factory worker had the idea.

To smuggle a simple, yet effective nuclear weapon, in the first shipment of Game Childs.

That's absolutely ridiculous!

30 seconds!

Our company was responsible for the shipment, but Daddy only realised after he shipped the first two hundred.

He of course, recalled them.

Daddy always wanted his own nuclear bomb.

The Crazy Octopus! The Crazy Octopus!

Argh!

15 seconds!

But there was one missing.

One, with the trigger device, and we couldn't find it.

Not until I pulled your strings.

And here we are.

So what was your plan? Were you going to set it off and hide in a fridge?

10 seconds!!!

Hurry, Stuart!

My finger might slip!!!

You know, I've always wanted to blow something up.

I'm not sure what, yet.

Maybe a pub, or a house full of collectibles!

Five.

Four.

Three.

Two.

Hang on! Up Up Down Down Left Right Left Right...

Got it! Thank you Konami!

Thank you, Stuart.

You see? We are good for each other.

I know how to motivate you.

Ashens!

You got lucky this time.

But don't think that changes anything!

I am still your superior in every wa-

Argh!

I was expecting that, you idiot!

So you were expecting it, but you didn't get out of the way.

I like being punched in the face...

You like being punched in the face?

Yes...

No!

Let's see how you like it!

There is no defense against The Crane Kick, old man!

Walk towards me then!

No.

It doesn't work unless you're walking towards me.

I don't care!

Come on!

No!

Ah! I'm getting cramp!

Good!

I'm going to switch legs. Don't attack me while I'm changing over.

Do you promise?

No.

Please promise.

No!

Pretty Please!

Okay, fine.

Argh!

I should have seen that coming!

Oh, my balls!!!

My precious balls!

You always were a pathetic excuse for a Chef!

You never did deserve to wear the uniform!

Aren't you going to fight back?!

Of course not! I'm a strict pacifist!

For a true Chef knows that he must never harm another person,

for even his worst enemy is still a potential customer.

Hm. I never thought of it like that.

Argh!

Argh!

Stuart...

I'll have the Game Child now!

You know, this quest has taught me a lot of things,

and it's taught me that this is not important.

Don't make me laugh!

The Game Child is the only thing that's important to you.

Maybe once.

But you're forgetting something.

You told me that this is special, and of immense value.

And? Your point is?

Things of worth, are worthless to me!

No!

No!

No, no, no!

You ruined it!

You ruined it all!

Die!

Great work, Marian!

I'm so sorry I got you mixed up in all this.

Don't apologise! That was amazing!

I hardly ever get to punch anyone in the library!

Stuart!

Everything okay?

It is now.

It is now.

So I guess someone should probably call the police or something.

Yeah, definitely.

Oh, I've lost my phone.

I can't believe it, mine was in my satchel.

There was a call-box when we came in.

Just around the corner.

Has anyone got any change?

Uh...

I had some, but I bought some mints.

Don't look at me, I'm homeless.

And I dropped the mints.

Oh, it's 999, it's free!

Is it?

Yeah.

It's not.

It's only free after 6pm isn't it?

No, it's always free, it's an emergency!

No, they charge you, I've been charged for that.

Oh God, she's waking up. Stamp on her!

Stamp on her!

That's him! That's him!

I never loved you.

I know.

So what do we do now?

Well, isn't it obvious? We're going to have a party!

No, you know I don't like parties!

I'm an island!

Oh, come on, Stuart!

Haven't you learn anything from this quest?!

Alright, alright, we're going to have a party.

Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!

Hey guys, I'm Geoff Excellence, and welcome to my channel,

where we talk about everything that's excellent.

But you know, it's not just about me.

I'd love to hear from you guys as well.

So make sure you leave me a comment below.

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