Asterix and Obelix: God Save Britannia Page #5

---

I'll look for the barrel.

You, for Goudurix.

Goudurix? Why Goudurix?

You refuse to deliver your secret.

No, I swear...

We could cut him open to find his fear.

Yeah. Cut him open.

Cut him open! Cut him open!

Enough fun and games.

Wake him up and take him to the cliff.

I want to see a flight demonstration.

Perfect.

A cloud of milk

in your hot water, Mr. Tetedepiaf?

Thank you, a spot.

As you can see, Miss Macintosh

has transformed Mr. Tetedepiaf

into a perfect gentleman.

Unfortunately,

he still refuses to say

where Goudurix was taken.

Believe me when I say I'm sorry,

but a gentleman never betrays

his companions-in-arms.

We'll let him escape.

He'll lead us to his people.

Miss Macintosh,

could you come to the kitchen

with me for a minute?

Say, Obelix...

weren't we supposed to go

boar hunting in the forest?

No, Why?

Yes, I said to you,

"Let's go boar hunting in the forest."

Oh yes, of course!

Let's go to the forest!

There you go.

Yes, let's go boar hunting

in the forest!

That's what I said.

Ready to go?

Where?

What? I know it's for fake.

What do you want?

Excuse me for disturbing you,

but is that your cart?

What do you care?

It contained some barrels

that were stolen from me.

And?

And I believe their disappearance

is not news to you.

Are you insinuating

that I look like a thief?

Well...

Yes.

Are we going to the forest?

Ok, I'll take care of it.

Have a seat, Mr. Tetedepiaf.

I just wanted to know

if you intended to stay for supper?

Because if you did,

I shall need to do

some extra grocery shopping.

I would truly be delighted.

Unfortunately, I have another date.

I didn't quite get that.

It's simple. I hinted that

he was not expected for supper

and like a perfect gentleman,

he did not wish to abuse my hospitality

and so he left.

That's all.

That's all.

A jolly good day to you.

Likewise.

Oh no...

No!

No! I'll do anything you want!

I'll learn Norman! Eat seal!

Dye my hair blond!

Don't throw me!

Have mercy!

- What's "mercy"?

- Another of their inventions.

You fly down there, make a turn,

then land over there.

Don't worry about the itinerary.

It's all mapped out.

Ok, go.

No!

Look!

Tetedepiaf!

A jolly good day to you, Chief.

May this humble bouquet

touch your heart.

In any case,

I picked it with love.

We're not here

to taste the local specialties.

Where were you?

I was a guest in a fine home

where the hospitality

was irreproachable.

But no matter...

I'm unspeakably happy

to see you all again.

You're right, no sentimentality.

Okay, let's go...

He's been bewitched.

Bewitched!

No, you're mistaken.

I wasn't bewitched,

I was educated.

Educated?

Indeed. Educated.

BY Who?

By her...

She'll educate us too!

Like Tetedepiaf!

You there!

Come here so I can punish you!

What's happening to us?

- My body's trembling!

- I'm sweating!

I have a stomach ache!

That means we're afraid!

Follow me!

Now that we've mastered fear,

we'll fly away.

Hey you!

Get back here!

Savage! Brutish lout!

Moron!

You and your people

are backward beasts!

Savages, vandals, pigs!

What am I saying?

Bacon on legs

with cottage cheese brains!

And all that sort of thing.

I'm so hungry

I could eat my own stomach.

How would you digest it?

A new message from Jolitorax.

Thank God!

I hope he'll soon be here.

"I hope Her Majesty is well

and in good health.

"The weather here is mild

with scattered showers,

"but nothing worrying.

"Your faithful servant, Jolitorax."

Send a message to Jolitorax.

I want to know where that barrel is.

Mr. Obelix...

Yes?

Would you have the good grace

to forget what you saw and heard

by the cliff earlier?

You can count on me.

I'll be as mute as a dolmen.

Thank you, Mr. Obelix.

It would seem

that you are a gentleman after all.

That's not enough! I need four!

One, two, three and four!

The 8th Legion arrives in six days.

Too long!

Tell them to step up the pace.

The men haven't slept

under a roof in weeks.

So what? This is the country.

Camping's fun, no?

A message from Langelus:

"Build fortification."

No time!

Let me talk to him!

Hello, Langelus?

Hello?

Lang... It doesn't work.

It doesn't work!

I'll never understand women.

If you don't look, you don't find.

But you can't look too hard either.

So you have to look without looking

while pretending not to look.

That's over my head.

What do you say?

I think women...

No, shut up.

I like it better.

Well?

I think I know where the barrel is.

It was sold to an innkeeper

who sold it to the Camulodunum team.

The team of what?

A typically British sport

where two teams of 15 players

fight over a bladder.

Sounds like fun.

Camulodunum is playing today.

The barrel's sure to be there.

I'll get Obelix and we're off.

I challenge you to a duel.

You have no idea

what I've been through. So just...

Take that sword and fight, coward!

Are you nuts? That hurt!

What's going on?

I fear this is a private matter.

I think he's using psychology.

- What if something happens?

- We'll explain.

Well?

We'll explain it.

Does your cowardice know no limits?

It's not cowardice!

Please,

don't claim your honour is at stake.

You merely wish

to appease your jealousy.

I think she's got a point.

You are prompt to criticise me again.

And you persist in shirking your duty.

- What do you mean?

- Seems obvious to me.

You really are too stupid.

So be it! Kill him!

But if you do, you shall lose

all credibility in my eyes.

True courage is not

killing a young fool in a duel...

It's daring to look a woman in the eye

and tell her your feelings.

Women, women, women...

Weak and disappointing creatures.

She's right, it's important

to express your feelings.

Really?

Yeah. If you love her, tell her.

Let it all hang out, old man.

Ophelia?

I wanted to tell you

about my feelings.

Miss Macintosh.

Jolly nice day, eh what?

I feel totally empty.

I have no energy.

I've encountered obstacles in the past,

but usually,

the desire to conquer wins out.

This time, my batteries are dead.

This desire to conquer...

What does it evoke?

Power and glory. I won't lie to you.

Power?

Dominating others. Subjugating them.

And also, I like it when people

are indebted towards me.

For example, I enjoy granting pardons.

When a condemned man

is about to be executed,

I show up at the last minute

and pardon him.

I like that a lot.

Yes, I like that a lot.

It's very pleasant.

What are the rules?

It's simple.

Each team must carry the bladder

over the other team's goal line.

Almost anything's allowed,

except the use of weapons.

Unless there's a prior agreement.

The stadium is too big.

We need a man at every exit.

Hey, I'm the one who decides.

The stadium is too big.

We'll change tactics.

You, you and you...

watch the other exits.

You, go for reinforcements.

Excellent idea!

Look! What's he doing?

You're out!

That is not a gentleman.

This is great.

That's the magic potion

Rate this script:5.0 / 1 vote