At Middleton Page #4

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a rock star.

Oh.

Oh.

And of course he'll forego

the sciences to write a...

very successful novel entitled

"My Life As a Spirochete."

You know what that is?

Any relation to a parakeet?

Well, it's a parakeet that spied

in the Spanish-American War.

My turn.

Give me one.

The young girl there.

Ah, that is Tessa.

Tessa has just learned

from her parents

that her Rhodesian Ridgeback

named Hedwig has croaked.

He's...

he's movedomorg.

And she's just trying

to consolidate her grief

into, like, 40 characters

so that she could tweet

her sadness to the world.

Yeah, and she will.

How about that guy?

- With the suit?

- Yep.

- That's Georgie.

- Mm-hmm.

Georgie is enormously bright,

but is hampered by the

little brother complex.

He always wants to

make his father proud.

He will marry the first woman

he falls in love with.

And he will go on to a long

and distinguished, but...

somewhat unfulfilling

career as a surgeon.

I detect a sadness in Georgie.

No, it's not sadness.

He has enormous resolve.

Can I tell you something

about Georgie?

No.

I think that...

that he has no idea just

how special he truly is.

But, you know, that's

probably the Dasani talking.

Have some more Dasani.

Come on. Come.

- Get the bikes back?

- Yeah.

Thank you.

Hi. What's your major?

Good-bye.

Come on.

Georgie.

"The Appassionata."

You play?

I play at it. You?

A prodigy.

Prodigy?

Remember, I've seen you lie.

I'm gonna need some confirmation.

Stay.

Oh.

After you.

Age before beauty.

Prodigy.

Okay!

I'm trying to learn the

Rachmaninoff's Second, okay?

And "Chopsticks" playing

in the background...

it makes it feel like

you are mocking me.

Okay?

Yeah.

Whew. Yeah.

Rachmaninoff is so hard.

The guy must have had hands

the size of trash can lids.

I know.

If I stretch any

further, I feel like

bones will poke out

of my fingertips.

Yeah, these are Bach's hands.

You know?

Stay away from the Russians.

You know, enjoy them.

Admire their passion.

But, like, don't get

obsessed with playing them.

No one's ever said that to me.

Thank you.

You're a lucky man.

Thank you.

Edith. Edith. Edith.

Okay, let's go. Let go. Okay, boy.

Okay, time to practice. Let's go.

Okay, let go. Let go.

- Thank you.

- Good luck.

- Come on. Come on.

- This way.

Campus police is outside

looking for the bicycles.

- Let's go.

- But we borrowed them.

No, no, no, I'd rather not

have that discussion.

Come on.

- Wasn't that nice?

- Oh, nice, very good. Nice kid.

- Oh. Come on.

- No, George, I mean the duet.

- What?

- It feels good to have a partner.

- I think we should walk faster, Edith.

- Are you happy, George?

Happy? I'd be a lot happier if

we don't end up in the pokey.

Pokey?

Oh! Oh!

Come. Come here, come here.

- Come on, George, this way.

- Edith, I can't go up. Edith.

- Come on. Yes, you can.

- Come on.

- Negative. No sign of them.

- Don't look down. Look up.

Now don't get chilly.

Gotta get up and warm up.

Good. Let's go, the last time.

Big-time. Go.

Very good. Puh-puh-puh,

buh-buh-buh, muh-muh-muh.

Puh-puh-puh,

buh-buh-buh, muh-muh-muh.

This way.

Edith. Edith.

Duh-duh-duh,

nuh-nuh-huh, tuh-tuh-tuh.

Duh-duh-duh,

nuh-nuh-huh, tuh-tuh-tuh.

Duh-duh-duh,

nuh-nuh-huh, tuh-tuh-tuh.

Duh-duh-duh, nuh-nuh-huh,

tuh-tuh-tuh.

- Duh-duh-duh, nuh-nuh-huh, tuh-tuh-tuh.

- Good. Br-r-r-r.

Br-r-r-r.

Again.

All the way.

Good. Puh-puh-puh,

buh-buh-buh, muh-m uh-m uh.

Puh-puh-puh,

buh-buh-buh, muh-muh-muh.

Puh-puh-puh,

buh-buh-buh, muh-m uh-m uh.

Puh-puh-puh, buh-buh-buh,

muh-muh-muh.

Duh-duh-duh,

nuh-nuh-huh, tuh-tuh-tuh.

Duh-duh-duh, nuh-nuh-huh,

tuh-tuh-tuh.

- Good. Take a deep breath.

- Ahh.

Good. Let's go all the way down.

Get up and take the deep breath.

It helps you to relax.

And exhale in one tone.

Ahh.

Beautiful.

Let's stretch. All the way.

And let me see you move

with the sentence.

Shh.

Beautiful. Let's change the legs.

Br-r-r-r. Shake it up.

Br-r-r-r.

Now let's have the

last intense sentence.

Go.

Beautiful.

Let's get ready for the scene work.

Hey.

Can I help you?

- Hi.

- Hi.

- Hi.

- Hi.

Hey, class. Wonderful class.

We came in the wrong door.

There are no wrong doors.

All the world's a stage.

Not in my world.

Who are you?

- We' re...

- We're... we're... we're...

- We're... we got lost...

- We got lost from the...

- separated from the tour. Yeah.

- Yeah.

Oh, Dingleberry.

Hey, can we watch your class

for a bit? Do you mind?

I'm sorry, but no one

audits my class.

I require full participation.

I'm gonna kill you, Edith.

Sorry, some other time.

- Thank you very much.

- We'll be right down.

- Edith.

- George.

- Let's go this way.

- No, come on.

- Edith. Edith.

- George, let's go.

- Edith.

- George, now.

All right, you guys, I don't

want to see any tears,

but this concludes the

tour portion of the day.

Aww.

I know. I hope it's been

fun and informative.

And this is the cafeteria

right here to our right.

You know, go in there.

Don't have the chowder.

It's pretty nasty.

And I hope you guys can fill

out your evaluation forms.

And enjoy the rest of your visit.

- Oh, thanks.

- Thanks. Good job.

Thank you.

Hope you give me all fives.

- Thanks.

- All right.

- Excuse me.

- Mm-hmm?

I just have a few questions.

I love questions. Shoot 'em.

Is it true that Roland Emerson

won't work with underclassmen?

I'm sorry, what is

a Roland Emerson?

He's a person.

The premier linguistics

professor in the country.

Roland Emerson. Roland Emerson.

No, I'm just kidding. I know him.

He's a big hit here.

Roland and I are like this.

Okay, let me tell you exactly

how to peel the Emerson onion.

So.

How did you get out

of your shackles?

Wait! What about the onion?

Girlfriend stuff.

I can't wait to fail

your evaluation.

Dingleberry.

So how was your day, honey?

It was good. What's for dinner?

I'm leaving you, Gerald.

No, you're not. What's for dinner?

There is no dinner. I'm leaving.

And I won't be talked

out of it this time.

No, you're not.

No, you're not leaving, come on.

- I'm leaving.

- You're just leaving?

- I'm just leaving.

- That's so silly.

- What's silly about it?

- I'm sorry.

I thought these two were

supposed to be married.

That's correct.

No married couple in the history

of marriage talks like this.

Yeah, I can't say it was

working for me either.

George, Edith,

- take the stage.

- No.

- Yeah.

- No.

- Yeah.

- No, it was working fine.

Make it real for us, please.

No.

No, Edith.

- Come on.

- Edith.

Please.

I'm going to give each of

you separately an objective

which you will attempt to achieve

through an improvised dialogue.

Yeah. Let's go. Come on.

Easy enough?

Please have a seat.

So, Edith, why don't

you try to get...

And, George...

to make Edith to go

to bed with you,

into bed as soon as possible.

No. No. Give me another objective.

Save it, George.

You know the rules.

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