At War with the Army Page #3

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times. - What's wrong with that?

Nothing, expect one day she started to

talk and I found out how dumb she was.

You know that dame is really 60

cents short.

Not only that. She got on a getting-

married kick.

What is it with these dames? They

all want to get married?

I know a lot of nice people that

aren't married.

Then one night I took her out....

Yes sir! Yes sir! Right sir!

After you tell Edwards he's being

shipped out, send him into Miller..

...to have his supply record checked

out. Right.

Hello! You're that cute Corporal that

was here when I came before, aren't you?

Yes, but the Sergeant still isn't in.

I don't suppose you know if he's going

to stay in camp tonight or tomorrow night?

- No you see, we never know when

we're going to be alerted. - I know.

Ours is not the reason why. Ours is

to do or die.

That's cute.

Look, why don't you write him a

note.

Write him? Well, you do it.

Just say:
I'll be back at 6:45 when I

get off from work.

And put down it's important.

And if I don't see him, there might

be trouble.

Okay. If I see him. You know, he's

not the easiest guy in the world to locate.

Don't I know it.

Well, I have to get back to the PX.

We're terribly busy today, we're closed.

Closed for inventory.

Good-bye.

Well, they did it again.

The adjutant just stuck me with

Officer of the Day.

- I know.

- You know?

- Well, why didn't you tell me?

- My wife just told me.

Did she also mention when the war

would be over?

She doesn't tell me everything she

knows.

- Clark?

- It's okay. She's gone.

What Millie have to say?

She left you a note. She said she'd

be back 6:
45.

Come in.

No.

- But Sergeant!

- Have you got permission to come in here?

- No.

- Well get out.

They think all I have to do around here is

hand out passes. Now, what was I talking about?

Nelly. She said if she doesn't see

you tonight, there's going to be trouble.

I'd better catch the first bus into town.

- Hey Corporal. Would you know where I can...

- Hey! Douse them lights. The Colonel's coming.

The offices too.

Hey! Oh, I'm sorry sir, but the Colonel

is coming and you know how he feels

about lights burning in the daytime.

- And you know how I feel about it.

- Yes, I do sir.

- All clear.

- Okay, turn them on.

Hey, where's Corwin?

He's been running in and out of here

all day long, and if it keeps up,

we're going to have to put in a revolving door.

Does he got permission to skip training?

No and you'd better find him and

we'll send him to the CO.

Right Serg!

And another thing. Edwards and

these guys are shipping overseas.

Come in.

Come in.

- Get out of here.

- Come back.

You need to be explaining why you

haven't been in no classes this afternoon.

- I've been looking all over for you Mc Vie.

- Oh, you've been looking for me huh?

Yeah, can I have permission to see

the first Sergeant?

No!

- But I gotta see him.

- You don't gotta see nobody!

I've got a message for the first

Sergeant from battalion headquarters.

- Why didn't you say so?

- He didn't let me.

Corwin, will you never learn?

You know, before you take off on

detail, you gotta tell your platoon Sergeant.

All right! What's the message?

It says you gotta report to the dispensory

in the morning for a physical examination.

Physical!?! Let me see that.

My application went through.

Serg, you need me for anything?

No, take two weeks off.

Wait a minute Serg. Form 38 is

filled out in case of discharge.

- Discharge? What does that mean?

- Oh he's right Sergeant.

According to paragraph 8, article 40-100, 24

hours prior to discharge of an enlisted man,

for reasons other than disability, he

must be examined and form 38 filled out.

They can't do this to me.

- Sergeant!

- What?

When you get home, will you call

my mother?

Get out of here.

I'll refuse. I'll go in and tap his head

with a 4x4.

Captain Corwin, can you tell me

about this? They want to discharge me.

- Now Serg.

- Go ahead and read it for yourself.

Sergeant Goosenelly. Nelly will be......

No, no, no

WDA...Form 30...

Oh calm yourself Sergeant. Your applicatioin

for warrant-officer has come through.

You're being discharged to accept

the appointment as warrant-officer.

Me an officer? Well, that's worse.

- Sergeant.

- Yes sir?

Will you make out tomorrow's

morning report and send it to battalion.

Morning report tonight?

Yes, from now on, they want it in

the night before.

- It's a discharge, so I can become a

warrant-officer. - Congratulations!

Hey what's this deal about me

shipping out?

It's no deal. You're just on a movement.

You'll be leaving in a couple of days.

Look Serg. How about crossing my

name off that list?

You know, I've got a new girl in town

and we're pretty serious.

- That's very touching.

- Listen, I've got to see my girl.

I've seen the girls you go with.

You'll do better where you are going.

Yeah? Well, I've seen your type too.

Well, why don't you drop down to

Realdo theater sometime?

- Renaldo?

- Yeah, the new red-headed usher.

- Helen?

- Yeah, that's right.

Well I'm a dirty, low-down, no-

good....

You win that argument. Go ahead,

start another one.

You're cutting in on me. I go with

Helen.

-You went with Helen.

- Now I see why I'm on shipment.

You're pulling your rank on me.

Don't do it Serg. 96 article of war .

Sock him and the Captain will bust you.

Put this on the bulletin board.

You can take off wise guy and start

packing. I've got work to do.

- This ain't no poolroom.

- No?

- I could have sworn I just saw an eightball.

- Get out of here.

All right boys. Let's get going.

Come on.

- How long before Miller gets here?

- About 20 minutes.

I'd like to find the joker that spread the

rumor around that I'm already a warrant-officer.

Why?

Every time I walk into the barracks

some nitwick shout Attention!

Okay you lucky people. You can get ready

and go to town now . I'm ready to take over.

Take that junk into the Captain's

office.

And take that with you!

Hey Corwin, give me a hand will

you?

Well I guess that wraps things up

Clark. Go on, get home to the little woman.

Thanks Serg! See you in the

morning.

I'll be back in a minute. Hey Corwin.

Don't forget you have to polish up outside too.

Hey Shawnessay. Some dame might drop

in here asking for me,

so tell her I'm out running the obstacle course.

- Okay.

You know Shawnessay, I kind of

wish Mc Vie would cut this throat.

How could he blow his whistle?

You know, some people say when

you get in the army, you get used to it.

But they don't say how long it takes,

and I ain't getting any younger.

- You know something Corwin?

- Hey Corporal!

I guess I'll get me a couple of

beers...

- So, going to wet your whistle eh?

- You bet.

Come on, let's be hurrying.

Hey, there's something you missed.

Let's be getting on the ball.

Yeah, but nobody can see up there

Sergeant.

That don't make no difference!

It's awful sloppy around here.

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