At War with the Army Page #4

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You gotta be neat.

You gotta be tidy.

Cause if we ain't, somebody's

gonna get it.

This army ain't just a place to have

fun you know.

Well, if anybody asks for me, I'm

painting the town.

And when I'm painting the town..

..I'm painting the town.

Big man.

Gotta be neat.

Gotta be tidy.

Here's something you missed.

Let's be getting on the ball.

Yeah, but Sergeant, nobody can

see tthat.

That don't make no difference!

If anybody asks for me, I'll be out

painting the town.

And when I paint the town...

...I'm painting the town.

Take it easy son.

Why does that Mc Vie have to be in

the army? Why couldn't he be in the navy?

I can't sleep in the afternoon on

account of that guy.

Why don't you take a poke at him?

Me take a poke at Sergeant Mc Vie?

You know what they'd do to me?

What can they do to you? There's

nothing lower than what you are now.

Look, in the regualtions, it says that

you can challenge anybody in the army.

If you think they're taking advantage of

you, ask them to put the gloves on with you.

You mean I could sock Sergeant Mc Vie

in the nose and nobody would say nothing?

Suuuure.

- What if he hit me first?

- But you don't let him.

You see it's a matter of science lad.

Come here, I'll show you.

Strike a pose.

See first you gotta take a style.

John L. Sullivan.

No, that's not for you.

Wait a minute. The Jack Dempsey

crouch.

That's better. You're a killer!

Get low! Lower , lower.

Hey I got it. Come here.

Toni Cassaneri. That's it.

He was a ballet dancer.

Oh no. Look, you gotta have

rhythm. Watch.

Corwin. Come here.

- What are you doing?

- I'm training.

For what?

- I'm going to put the gloves on with

Sergeant Mc Vie. - Mc Vie?

Yeah, I'm going to jab his head off.

Where do you want the body sent?

- Send it to Mc Vie's parents.

-Your body!

Go on, get in and finish the rest of

your work.

- Vic.

- No!

Can't I just talk to you for a minute?

All right. What do you want now?

- Remember that song we wrote together?

- Yeah, what about it?

Well, we got a telegram fromt he

music publisher and he...

..wants us to put the song on a

record and send it to him right away.

Go ahead and make a record of it.

No, I want you should record it.

Get Bing Crosby.

I like you better.

Oh you don't have to fight Mc Vie.

You're punchy already.

Why? Just cause I like you better?

At least you could do, is show a

little consideration for me.

Sure, I know you're a sergeant and

I'm only a private.

At least you could do, is be a little

friendly.

All right. I love you, I'm your friend.

What do you want me to do?

If you never ever give me a pass again, I don't

care. Just take this song into town tonight.

You know that place where you put

a quarter in the machine...

...instead of writing home to your

mother, you send your voice on a record.

- Here's a quarter.

- But I got a date.

So what? Take your date to the

recording booth with you.

Might be a little warm, might be a

little fun.

All right. I'll record it.

Millie!

I'll be seeing you.

Come in.

Oh hello.

Hello. Is Sergeant Puccinelli in?

- Oh no, he out on a bizzwhack.

- Oh that's a shame. How'd it happen?

Say, haven't I seen you someplace

before?

You might have seen me at the PX.

Number 10. I used to sell beer.

But I asked to be transfered to the

candy counter.

What happened? Did you get

hungry?

- Good-evening Corporal.

- Oh hi.

Aren't you going to introduce us?

Private Edwards meet a friend.

Friend, meet Private Edwards.

Your name's Millie, isn't it?

Millie doesn't look it, but she just

switched from beer to candy.

Would you like to take your break

now Corporal?

Definetly.

Glad to have met you.

Oh thank-you. If you want

anything, just ring for the bellboy.

He's nice, isn't he?

- Do you think Cutie will be here tonight?

- Cutie? Do you mean Puccinelli?`

No, I don't think he can make it.

But anything you want to tell him,

why you can tell me.

What's your name? The charge of quarters

was so crazy when he introduced us...

..is all that I remember is that you're

a friend of his.

U.S. That's cute. Monogrammed

blankets.

My name is Caldwell. Private Ernie

Caldwell.

I was just thinking that if you're not

doing anything tomorrow night..

Oh tomorrow night.

Hello.

Don't you know enough to knock

before you come into a room?

Gee whis. I was just down at the PX and I thought that Corporal Shawnessay would like some ic

e- cream.

Set it on the desk. I'll see that he

gets it.

The spoon's inside.

We'll keep this between the two of us.

You don't got to worry about me.

I'm no snitcher.

Got a cigarette?

Corporal I've got to get into town

right away. Can I get a pass?

Are you nuts? You're restricted.

But the fellas forgot the music. I've

got to have a pass.

Nothing doing.

Corporal it's a matter of life and

death.

Nothing doing.

Can you sing Melancholy Baby?

- No!

- That's okay, I'm glad.

I hate that Melancholy Baby.

I beg your pardon, did you see..

I beg your pardon. Oh never mind.

Hey Charlie. What was that?

I don't know Serg.

Excuse me..

I beg your pardon.

Did you see what I saw?

Here's a light.

What'll you have?

Creme d'cassise.

Creme d'cassise?

Excuse me little lady. How about a

little drink? Please!

-Hey, can you sing Melancholy Baby?

- Bartender!

All right Romeo.

I'm just buying a little drink for

Melancholy Baby.

You've had enough Serg.

I ain't going to stop drinking, until

she starts looking good to me.

You're the first dame I ever met..

..who didn't remind of any other

dame I ever met.

Bartender, How much

do I owe you?

A half a buck.

- Thank-you.

- Thank-you! You've been very nice.

-What were you saying?

- How about singing a little song?

A little song for soldier? Would you

like ah...

good-night song? Or a...

...children's song? Or a

..foolish song?

Oh I'm awfully sorry.

- Will you play this please?

- Oh sure.

-It's me Alvin.

- Alvin? What on earth are you doing in that outfit? Are you nuts?

- Me nuts?

- You guys ran off and forgot the music.

What if you get caught?

Never mind. Get Puc in recording booth. We got

to have those records first thing in the morning.

He's over there.

- Now as I was saying.

- Yes Vic?

Helen, you look so wonderful tonight. Could

I interest you in a slightly used kiss?

Now what do you guys want?

We had to go back to camp. We

forgot the music.

Well don't bother me. Give it to

Sam at the piano.

Okay Serg.

- What's the matter Vic?

- Oh nothing. Just one of those things.

Come on. What is it?

- I didn't want to tell you...

- But what?

- We're being alerted.

-Alerted?

But Vic.

Well what am I going to do when

you're gone?

Why Helen, are you going to miss

me that much?

Sure Vic.

This might sound a little hokey, but I

wrote a song....

..and I would like to make a record

of it, just for you.

Oh Vic. That's nice.

Would you mind stepping into the

booth while I record it?

I'd love to.

All right Corwin. What are you doing?

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