Attack of the Killer Donuts Page #5

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with this.

What if it's too many of them?

We take care of them the old fashion way.

Yeah.

Do you play roller hockey?

What if it doesn't work?

What if we spray them and it doesn't work?

I will inject them with my syringe.

Ha-haa!

You got that to work?

We waste them!

Sh*t! Sh*t! Sh*t!

Waste them!

Bonsai!

This is not working.

There's too many of them.

Not working.

Oh sh*t.

What are we gonna do?

What are we gonna do?

The anti serum works.

We just don't have enough.

Johnny. I got to get back to the lab.

I've got to make more serum. It's the

only thing that's going to save us.

We're not going to make it.

We're not going to make it

Johnny. I have to tell you something.

Not now Howard.

I'm in love with your mom.

What?

I knew it!

Wait. There's more.

I... we... kind of...

I had sex with your mom.

I'm sorry man. She's a kind,

beautiful sexually liberated woman.

I think I'm gonna hurl.

- Tell her I love her.

- What?

I'm going to kill the doughnuts

that are escaping outside.

Bonzai.

- Hey!

- Howard! No!

Get to the closet. It's our only chance.

Aw, hell no!

Get the hell outta here.

I got splooged in my eye.

Man down! Man down!

Ah! Damn!

- You got any grenades?

- Grenades?

Oh, god!

Do I look like I got any grenades?

Never mind.

Just like home baby.

- Are you okay?

- Yeah. Are you... are you hurt?

- Let me see.

- It's okay. It's fine.

Okay. Um. Now what?

I don't know what.

- Well think!

- You think!

You got us here.

Your crazy uncle got us here.

Alright, So we should just through

our arms up in the air and give up.

Is that it?

- No. We're not giving up.

- Oh great. You too.

In denial.

Why are you so angry at me?

I'm not angry at you.

And why are you yelling at me?

Because I am angry! Alright?

You wanna know why? Because we

are about to become snacks.

For the freak'n snacks!

Or the fact. The fact that my mother

is sleeping with Howard.

- My mother...

- Breathe.

I'm gonna be a therapist's dream

if I get out of here alive.

Or, not to mention the fact, that

my imaginary girlfriend

was just using me for money.

You know? News flash Johnny.

- Yeah. That actually bothers me.

- I am such a loser.

I didn't see any of this coming.

I mean. She brings her boyfriend over

this afternoon. And I was just.

I was clueless. You know.

He called her babe.

Right in front of me.

"Hey Babe"!

And I just stood there.

Pathetic! And believed here!

Yeah. I got it!

Does it bother that you have

such a pathetic friend?

You know, the worst part about this is,

is that after I am eaten,

my little friends, Sprinkles and Glazed

out there. My mothers is going to be alone.

No. No, no no, no.

She won't be alone.

You're right.

Even after I am gone.

I will always be with her.

No. She'll have Howard.

Why don't you just open the

door and let them eat me?

No Johnny!

I would like you very much alive.

- Okay

- Okay!

Now close your mouth and help

me find a way out of this mess.

Okay, let's go.

Uh. Great, Okay. Um.

Maybe Luther will come back in time.

Even... Even if he makes enough serum,

there's no way he will be

back before we're dead.

Right. Right, okay.

Hey, hey I got an idea,

What?

The gas line.

There's no way we would

survive an explosion.

Look. I am sorry I yelled. okay?

- Okay, it's fine.

- I was a jerk, with this.

This is the only way to be sure.

No more killer doughnuts.

No more doughnuts. Period.

- Let's do this.

- Okay.

I'm all out.

I'm all out.

Damn it. Me too.

Dick, it's been a pleasure serving

with you after all these years man.

Yeah. And you've been a

galactic pain in the ass,

but I wouldn't have it

any other way partner.

- Let's do this.

- Let's do it!

That's great, but how do

we survive the explosion?

Uh... I'm still working on that part.

Hey. Who farted?

Hey.

Good morning.

Did you sleep okay?

Yeah.

Better than Okay.

For a second I thought, uh...

everything was a dream.

No no no. You definitely

weren't dreaming.

We blew up Dandy Donuts.

Right. That too.

I will remember last night

for as long as I live.

Yeah.

Killer doughnuts. Crazy.

No, that's not what I meant.

Well, make up your mind, will you?

So... what now?

I think it's pretty obvious.

No, it's not what I mean.

I mean like...

Okay, we've been friends

for a really long time. Right?

And then, uh. Well.

This happened,

and so now, like what does that make us?

Are we like friends with benefits,

or is this like...

Shhh!

Don't think so hard.

You might strain something.

Ow!

What?

You know what they say about payback.

Payback for what?

Forever being with that... Veronica.

Oh. So, someone was a little jealous, hm?

Someone was a little blind.

Okay, that's what I want to figure

out were we are, because the last

time I didn't think I ended up

with an imaginary girlfriend.

Do I look imaginary to you?

Well, let's see here.

You got a nose. You got two lips.

- Alright, Alright.

- Let's see here.

It was a crazy night for sure,

but nothing that happened

between us is imaginary.

So let's take it slow.

See what happens.

No.

No?

No.

I love you. And that's that.

You're my girlfriend.

Ah, do I get a say?

Michelle Louise Kester.

Will you be my girlfriend?

Uuuh...

Oh come on.

Alright, you Know what?

I have done so much for you,

since yesterday.

I have beaten up three bullies.

I have stood up to Cliff.

I have quit my job.

Oh yeah, and this other little thing.

I battled killer doughnuts for you,

and not to mention

the emotional turmoil I went through

trying to make sure you were safe.

Alright, alright. Fine.

Your whining won me over.

- Whatever works.

- Yes.

I will be your girlfriend.

Yessss.

We should go visit Howard.

Oh, is that what you're

thinking about right now?

Come on. He's your best friend.

He's fine. Okay?

I mean, yeah, he's in the hospital,

but he only has like minor burns.

Johnny. He lost a testicle.

Okay, we have all day

to visit him, alright?

In case you forgot. I am

currently unemployed.

As it turns out. I am unemployed as well.

- Oh really?

- Uh-hm.

Maybe we should, uh.

Do something.

What did you have in mind?

Oh, for starters...

That's a nice shirt you're wearing.

- This?

- Uh-hm.

- You want it back?

- Yep.

- Right now?

- I'm afraid so.

Right now.

John Blake Wentworth.

I don't want to hear anymore excuses.

You are cutting that grass today.

Ma. Don't you knock?

You heard me mister.

You get out of bed and cut that grass.

- Now!

- Mom. wait!

- Wait, wait.

- Hi!

Oh. uh.

I... So sorry.

Good morning Mrs. Wentworth.

Hi Michelle. I thought...

Michelle is, uh... my girlfriend.

I didn't know you had company.

Surprise.

I... I promise I will uh,

I will cut the grass today.

Yeah. Yeah, you do that.

It is nice seeing you, Mrs. Wentworth.

Nice to see you to, dear.

You could call me Emma.

Okay.

- Bye mom.

- Bye.

She's going to cheer up Howard.

How sweet.

Don't start.

At least he has one good testicle left.

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