Avengers Assemble in the Playroom Page #2

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OK, Maggie. How about ...

... Habeas Corpus.

That's Latin.

Well, it's a legal term.

H-A-B-E-U-S

C-O-R-P-U-S.

Not quite. It's H-A-B-E-A-S.

I said it was Latin.

It's fair. It's in the

English language.

Sam, it's your turn.

Can you spell soap?

Why don't you give

Mom a word?

Soap. S-O-A-P.

Good, Son.

I got an A in spelling.

Why don't you give

Mom a word to spell?

Did you get a report

card today, Sam?

Sam.

Yeah.

Where is it.

Let's see

if she can spell.

Your mother isn't in

the spelling bee.

- Why not?

- For God's sake, Martin.

Do something.

Donna, can you spell...

Matrimonial?

As in "matrimonial law?"

I did marry a lawyer, didn't I?

Yes.

M-A-T-R-I-M-O-N-I-A-L

Good.

Sammie, give me

your report card.

He made all A's

And one C.

I want to see it.

All A's.

And one C.

That's excellent, Sam.

It is. Don't you

worry about the C.

You can probably still

get into college.

That must be the Knotts.

I'll get it.

Janie, can you

spell damnation?

Is that two words?

Maggie.

Hello.

Hey. Come on in.

Can I fix you a drink, Clark?

Yes, please. I'll have

what you're having.

Scotch.

Nadia, the usual?

What else?

We were just having a

spelling bee.

Hello, Cantwell children.

Hello, Mrs. Knotts.

- A report card?

- That's Sam's.

Can I look?

Don't.

He made all A's.

Well, you are smart children.

I know that.

Go upstairs.

And don't forget

your report card.

Sam, stand up.

No, act right.

Come on. I want

you to take these.

Go on. Be a good boy.

- Well it's nice...

- What are we waiting for?

... to be here.

I don't know.

OK. They

all played "possum."

The cop

walked around,

and looked at each one of

them very, very closely.

But they didn't move,

and didn't make a sound.

They didn't even breathe.

They all laid so

quiet and still,

that he couldn't detect

a single sign of life.

I don't think

there's cheerleading

in the Olympics.

- What do you mean

- But I wish there was...

I wish there was...

I would watch the Olympics.

How's your drink?

Fantastic.

Not too strong?

Not too strong.

Last night was a little

strong.

Playing

"possum" worked?

Yeah.

When the cop finally

believed they were dead,

he went off to get help.

So, they went to the beach.

And jumped in a boat.

A sailboat...

... and sailed away.

Janie, you're just

making more work for me

being in here.

How am I making more work

for you?

because I always

have to take care of you.

You're not taking care

of me right now.

Yes, I am.

So, how are

the children?

Oh,

the children are fine.

Wouldn't you say, Donna.

Hey have got

a joke for us, Janie?

I can't remember any.

Oh, come on.

You can remember

at least one, can't you?

I need the book. I can

only remember a little bit.

Oh, just tell us the part

you remember.

- I bet it will still be funny.

- Yeah.

OK. So, a man said...

No wait. He liked two girls.

One named Kate and the

other named Edith.

One Spade.

I can't remember the rest.

But at the end, he said, "I

want to have my Kate

and Edith, too?

Kate and Edith, too.

That's good.

That's great, honey.

She just

doesn't get it.

Children are wonderful.

This one is.

Come here.

Pass.

Two of spades.

They're so easy to

love.

They don't ask for anything

They just accept what you

give them.

Why do we we ever grow

up?

Why can't we stay

children forever?

Janie, you have

homework to do.

Children can be selfish,

demanding, and cruel.

How would you know?

I was a child.

Three hearts.

Janie, come on.

Let's get out of here.

- Goodnight, Mommy.

- Goodnight, Darling.

- Goodnight, Janie.

- Goodnight, Mrs. Knotts.

- Goodnight, honey.

- Goodnight.

Go on. I'll be up in a few

minutes.

Where were we?

- I bet three hearts.

- Goodnight, Princess.

Four spades.

- Oh, pass.

- Pass.

Pass.

I guess that makes

me the dummy.

- Here we go.

- Not the first time.

I think I need another drink.

Another drink?

I think

I'm good, thank you.

- Maggie.

- Dad.

Just because your mother

smokes, doesn't mean

it's OK for you to smoke.

Dad?

Yes.

What does habeas

corpus mean?

Ah. Produce the body.

A writ of habeas corpus

means a prisoner must be

brought before the court

to determine if they are

being legally held.

Oh.

- Goodnight, Dad.

- Goodnight, Maggie.

OK, I see how you are. All

right, I'll give you that one.

Great start, honey.

What have you got there.

I'm pacing myself.

They sailed

far out to sea...

Are they lost?

No.

They're going to

another country.

A country where children

don't have to have parents.

What's it called?

Child Land.

Dumb name.

You tell it then.

Ooo and it's alright

and it's comin' on

We got to get right back to

where we started from

Sam, have you done

your homework?

No.

Do it now. I'll help you.

I don't want to.

Don't you want to

get all A's again?

No, I want to get all C's.

I can't remember this part.

Big one... big one...

Bunny... bunny, bunny.

... and then twirl.

Hello.

Yes, uh, Just

a moment please.

Hello. Hi.

No, she didn't say anything.

I told you, she

didn't even notice.

Not tonight,

we've got company.

Who else.

No, you shouldn't come over

tonight. It's not a good idea.

Is that Ryan?

Let me talk to him.

I have to go. I'll

talk to you later.

Come on. I just

want to say hello.

Ryan, sweetheart, it's

Donna. How are you?

I know you were

over here this afternoon.

You didn't even come

in and say hello to me.

Why don't you come

on over right now?

No, I am sure Maggie

wouldn't mind.

What is the matter with you?

What did Ryan say?

- Ouch.

- I have to get the knots out.

He wanted to come over.

He loves you.

Ow, you're hurting me.

Do you want me to brush

your hair or not?

No, I'll do it.

No...

I'll do it.

You don't know

what love is.

Yes I do.

It fills you up. It makes

you feel happy and full.

No, it's the opposite.

You know that feeling

you get here

when you slip on the stairs?

For one second, it's

like the whole world

is a hole you're falling into...

That's what love feels like.

Like you're falling down

a hole inside yourself.

Do you love Ryan?

No.

Sam.

Do you have to go

to the bathroom?

No.

Look, listen

to this. Listen to this.

I'm not going to be

the butt of any of your jokes.

Play some

Bobby Darin.

No, no. We're not

having any Bobby Darin.

There's a couple

reasons I like this album.

Which album?

I like Mr. and Mrs. Knotts.

They're idiots.

Why are they idiots?

Because they come

over here every night.

Mommy and

Daddy like them.

Shut up. I can't concentrate

while you're talking.

Dad could beat Mr. Knotts

in an arm wrestling

match any day.

Mom could beat

Mrs. Knotts, too.

Shut up.

Grown ups don't

arm wrestle.

You win.

They sailed far away from

land. Far from everything.

And then, one day when the

younger girl was fishing...

something jerked the line.

So hard it pulled her

overboard.

She held onto the line as the

fish dragged her away.

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