Avengers Assemble in the Playroom Page #3

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And then, the line broke.

And the fish swam away.

She floated, waiting for the

boat to find her.

But it didn't come.

At night, God pulls the

covers up over the earth,

and puts it to bed.

The world never

goes to bed.

While one half is asleep, the

other half is always awake.

But it keeps the light on.

That's why you see stars.

They're little tiny

holes in the blanket...

for the light to come through.

That's not what

the stars are.

Space is empty,

and the stars are on fire.

Nuh uh. Mommy told me

when I was a little girl.

Mom is a well known liar.

She was just telling you a

story.

No.

Another stupid, drunk story.

Don't say that.

Take it back.

You have to take it back.

OK. OK.

I take it back.

I want my Mommy.

And just as she was about to

drown...

she turned around, and

there was an island.

She lay down on

the sand half dead.

The next day, she heard

voices and saw some

natives making a fire on the

beach.

"She's already half

cooked by the sun,

so it won't take long,"

one of them said.

And then the Chief's son,

who was handsome,

said, "She is beautiful.

I'd rather not eat her."

And then another said, "We

have to kill her.

She will feed us for a week."

Then Takuna said to her,

"My tribe is hungry.

Help us and I

will spare you."

Then she reached

into her pocket,

and pulled out

some seeds and said,

"I have beans and corn,

and tomatoes and apples.

We will plant them,

and you'll have a garden.

and never be hungry again."

Hello sweetheart, what are

you doing down here?

Maggie said I was stupid.

Oh. You are not stupid

sweetheart.

And you can tell Maggie

that I said you are

smarter than she is.

Can I stay here

with you, Mommy?

Aw, now the little

con artist comes out.

For five minutes.

I won't say anything.

No. You have to

go back upstairs.

We're having a

grown up evening.

Oh.

I found my joke book.

I'll tell you a joke.

Janie.

- There was once a little ...

- Janie.

... who was very, very poor.

I think you'd better go

upstairs now, Janie,

like your mother says.

Maggie said the stars

are on fire.

She said God doesn't pull

the covers over us at night.

The stars are on fire.

And God is very busy.

She's just very tired.

Hey, you tell Maggie that

I said to put you to bed.

- Now?

- Now.

- Goodnight, Janie.

- Goodnight, Janie.

- Goodnight, Janie.

- Goodnight, Janie.

She's exhausted.

Janie.

And then,

Takuna, kissed her,

and the natives

danced around her.

And Takuna asked her to

marry him.

And she said, yes.

And they went to go

live in his tree house.

What about the boat?

Well, one day a year later,

the boat came to the island.

A year?

What could they be

doing for a year?

Never mind.

There you go.

Dance it up.

I'm gonna dance

with your wife.

Don't step on her toes.

- I'm not. -

She doesn't like that.

You guys have

whipped cream?

Oh gosh,

we could whip some up.

Janie.

Come back inside, Janie.

Oh, Sam.

No you can't come out here.

Wow.

Oh, great.

Wow.

It looks different

from up here.

We're on a spaceship.

We've been traveling

the universe.

But now, we're going home

to our own planet, Megatron.

Navigator, where are we?

Lost in space, Captain.

But I can find our

way out of here.

We must be tangled

up in the blanket.

Tie up the prisoner.

Don't try to escape.

I'll set a course

for Megatron.

They sailed

South by Southeast.

Navigating by the stars.

Warp factor five. Full speed.

Past the

Bermuda Triangle.

between Africa and South

America.

It's gonna get rough.

One day the sky

went dark,

and the wind started to blow

and the ocean threw the

boat around like a ball.

- God help us.

- Christian, be careful.

And right in front

of them was a ship,

with a hundred sails on it.

As the boat drifted closer,

they saw pirates,

smelly pirates

with tattoos and

missing teeth.

Aliens, aliens. Take 'em

out. Take 'em out.

The pirates threw

a big net down on them

and hoisted them

up over the deck.

Then Red Beard, the

captain, said,

"Ah. I spy a young man.

A fancy pants.

We'll have to get rid of him."

So they put him

on the plank,

and all the pirates

were yelling,

"Walk the plank,

walk the plank."

So he

walks out onto the edge,

and looks down

onto the ocean.

Captain, it's a meteor.

The steering mechanism...

It's jammed.

And does a triple back flip

with a half twist.

- Christian

- ...into the ocean.

- Ah.

- Christian.

Christian.

Not even a splash.

Hold on

Christian, I'm coming.

Is someone hurt?

Oh, the kids just wanted to

play , um emergency room,

so I was just

getting some stuff.

Well, don't let

anyone get hurt.

I won't.

Maggie, remember

when you

won the sixth grade

spelling bee?

We worked on it every night,

learning all those words.

What was that word?

The winning word.

I don't remember.

Uh, it's... uh...

"Icthyophagous"

I-C-H-T-H-Y-O

P-H-A-G-O-U-S

Fish-eating.

Goodnight, Dad.

Maggie.

Is there...

Do you need

help with anything?

Any problems...

I could help you with?

I can handle it.

I was just trying

to scare you.

You scared me.

Me too. I thought

I was falling off, too.

It's OK Sammie. Don't cry.

Yeah, I'm fine, see.

I thought I was falling

off the roof with you.

Who wants ice cream?

OK. I got a joke.

So this guy, this oil tycoon,

California on a big

old plane, and he

gets there and he checks

into this big old hotel.

He wants a drink, so he

goes to the bar

and there's this pretty little

lady at the other end.

So, he goes and chats

with her and they

start putting down

double drinks,

rounds and rounds.

- And they get hungry, right?

- Yeah

So, they go to the

restaurant of the hotel,

and they order the

biggest steaks on the menu

and this big huge flaming

fancy French dessert.

"Ma'am would you like

to go up to my room?

It is the biggest suite

in the whole hotel.

She says, "Yeah."

And so they go up there,

and start fooling around.

And he takes off this

big old cowboy hat.

He takes off his big old

cowboy boots.

And he unbuckles his

big old cowboy belt buckle.

And he drops his pants.

And he says, "Ma'am, I'm

just gonna have to warn you,

I'm from Fort Worth Texas

and I am big.

And he takes off his

underwear

and he shows her what he's

talking about.

Then he spreads

her legs open,

and he thrusts

himself inside her.

And he stops.

And he looks down.

He looks back up

at her in amazement.

He says, "Golly ma'am.

What part of Texas

are you from?"

That is so funny.

Get it? What part of

Texas are you from?

What part of Texas are you

from, ma'am?

Big man.

Jesus, Donna.

Come on,

it's not that big.

It's more like the

Rio Grande.

Stop. Stop.

- You know what I'm

saying...

Oh, Martin.

Don't look at me like that.

God.

We're all

grown ups here, right?

Oh, Nadia, what?

You didn't know?

Did you know?

You didn't bother

to hide it. Did you?

Now we all know.

You could have

had the decency...

- The decency to

lie? - The decency...

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