Bachelor Party Page #18

EXT. HOTEL

Rick and the guys exit the hotel. As they exit, Mr. Thomerson

enters. Both parties are oblivious to the other's presence.

INT. HOTEL

Mr. Thomerson is greeted by a Moosehead Beer EXECUTIVE who

is wearing a straw hat that says "Moosehead Beer."

EXECUTIVE:

Ed, we're so glad you could come

over at the last minute and judge

our little beauty pageant.

MR. THOMERSON

My pleasure, Al... Always happy to

help out in a pinch...

(looking around)

Excuse me. I better call my service...

tell them where I am.

He enters a phone booth and starts to dial.

MR. THOMERSON

(to executive, covering

mouthpiece)

I had to get out of the house anyway

tonight. The wife is throwing a bridal

shower for my daughter.

(into phone)

This is Ed Thomerson. Please transfer

my calls to...

(reading number off

phone)

220-1892. Right.

He crosses with executive toward the ballroom.

EXECUTIVE:

Congratulations on your daughter's

wedding. Who's she marrying?

MR. THOMERSON

A real turd.

EXECUTIVE:

(at a loss for words)

Well... hope she'll be very happy.

They exit into ballroom.

INT. CHIPPENDALE'S KITCHEN - NIGHT

Amidst the kitchen activities we SEE Rick, O'Neill, Ryko,

Stan, and Michael.

RICK:

So will your friend Nick do it?

MICHAEL:

He'll do anything for money.

RICK:

I love his attitude.

(calling off)

They still out there?

STAN:

He's peeking through the kitchen door. We SEE Debbie and the

shower girls whooping it up at a ringside table. Stan turns

back to Rick.

STAN:

Breathing heavy at ringside.

He joins the other guys.

RICK:

(a la Long John Silver)

So, they want action, eh? Are you

with me, me hardies?

The guys shout approval as NICK, one of the male dancers,

enters carrying a tray of food. Nick is a muscled hunk.

MICHAEL:

Guys, this is Chippendale's star

attraction, Nicholas Carter... better

known as Nick the Dick.

RYKO:

Nick the what?

Nick drops his pants. Since he's being SHOT only from the

WAIST UP, we can't see what the guys see.

NICK:

(proudly)

The Dick.

ALL OUR GUYS:

(astonished at this

O.S. sight)

Jesus Christ!

RICK:

Let's get this thing going. Tray,

please.

Nick holds the tray waist high. Rick arranges the food.

RICK:

(continuing)

Looks good. Can I have the bun,

Michael?

Michael hands Rick a hot dog bun. Rick places it on the tray.

He turns to Nick.

RICK:

(continuing)

And now, Nick... or is it Mr. Dick?

NICK:

Nick.

RICK:

Nick, if you would be so kind...

NICK:

He holds the tray with one hand. With the other he reaches

OUT OF FRAME. In a nutshell, what he does is place his honker

in the hot dog bun. As he slaps his business into the bun,

we HEAR a solid THUMP.

RICK:

Nick, the rest is all yours.

NICK:

(excusing himself)

Gentlemen.

He exits. As he does, our guys crowd around and peek through

the kitchen door.

NICK:

We FOLLOW him as he approaches the girls' table.

NICK:

If you ladies would like to serve

yourselves...

The girls grab their orders. Mrs. T. is last. Hers is the

hot dog. She points to it.

MRS. THOMERSON

Is this the foot long?

NICK:

And then some.

Mrs. T. grabs the hot dog. It won't come off the tray. She

yanks harder. Nick drops the tray and Mrs. T. finally comes

to realize what she is pulling on. She screams in terror.

Because of sheer fright, she can't seem to drop Nick's schlong

from her grip. The rest of our ladies look to see Mrs. T. 's

hot dog. They scream in shock. Debbie spits out her

marguerita, hitting Phoebe in the face.

OUR GUYS:

They are busting a gut watching the girls' reactions.

ILENE:

She looks up just in time to see the

guys close the kitchen door.

MRS. T

still frozen in a state of shock. The girls try to pry her

hands off.

EXT. STREET CORNER

Several HOOKERS are standing around. Gary approaches them.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes