Bachelor Party Page #17

GARY:

That's more like it.

The girls walk over to Gary and proceed to beat the crap out

of him.

EXT. CHIPPENDALE'S - NIGHT

It is a garish nightclub. A large lighted billboard proclaims

"ALL MALE... ALL NUDE." Two cars pull into the parking lot.

Debbie and all of her shower guests get out.

DEBBIE:

Are you sure this is a good idea?

ILENE:

Look, you heard what those hookers

said. They were supposed to go to a

bachelor party.

DEBBIE:

That doesn't mean it was Rick's party.

ILENE:

Debbie, men are pigs -- if they can

have women, we can have men.

BOBBIE:

(agreeing)

Yeah.

MRS. THOMERSON

(reluctantly)

I don't know about this.

DEBBIE:

C'mon, Mother, it'll be fun.

The girls giggle as they enter the place, with Mrs. Thomerson

following reluctantly behind.

INT. CHIPPENDALE'S - NIGHT

PHOEBE:

Look at that guy. What a hunk.

BOBBIE:

Check out the other guy's buns.

TINA:

Let's sit over here.

They head for some empty tables. Debbie notices her mother

is still standing transfixed by the MAN on display on stage.

Debbie grabs her by the shoulder.

DEBBIE:

C'mon, Mom.

On the way to the table they pass MICHAEL, the bartender,

who looks at them and immediately recognizes Debbie. Finding

this interesting, he picks up a phone and dials.

MICHAEL:

(softly; into phone)

Yes... is there a Rick Stahl

registered there?

INT. HOTEL SUITE

Gary, beaten up, his clothes ripped, stands amidst the guys.

RICK:

Hookers beat you up?

GARY:

Yes.

RICK:

I didn't know you were into that.

CHULO:

How could you be so stupid. I'm gonna

kill you.

GARY:

Go ahead, but if you want women, we

need more money.

RYKO:

This just isn't righteous.

GARY:

(angered)

Screw you... Do me a favor, join

this decade, will ya, pal!

RICK:

(as if he's working a

fundraiser)

Hey, now, our buddy needs help. Come

on, dig into those pockets. Help

this man.

(puts his arm around

Gary)

Help this person help others get

laid. Give till it hurts. He needs

you.

The guys take out money. Larry stands and digs into his pocket

for his wallet. Along with the wallet comes dozens of pills.

The PHONE RINGS.

RICK:

And there's our first pledge coming

in --

Rick picks up the receiver.

RICK:

(continuing)

Hello. End Horniness Telethon. Yeah.

Michael... how you doing?

INT. CHIPPENDALE'S - MICHAEL

He's standing behind the bar.

MICHAEL:

I'm working... Right. At

Chippendale's. Guess what. Debbie

and her friends just walked in.

INT. HOTEL SUITE

RICK:

(surprised)

Really? That's very interesting.

(he brightens)

I'll tell you what... stay there and

we'll be right down. I want to check

this out.

He hangs up the phone. Gary, meantime, has collected his

money.

GARY:

I'll be back with women.

STAN:

I might as well have left my genitals

at home, the good they're doing me

here.

CHULO:

(calling after Gary)

Hurry back.

Gary exits.

RICK:

(it's obvious he has

something in mind)

While we're waiting for Gar, why

don't we all go for a little fresh

air.

RYKO:

Where we going?

RICK:

Out.

The guys start toward the door.

LARRY:

(zonked and depressed)

Guys, I think I'd rather stay here.

RICK:

C'mon, Larry. Be good for you.

LARRY:

I just want to be alone.

RICK:

All right. Now, there's milk and

cookies in the refrigerator. Go to

bed right after "Falcon Crest."

As Larry slumps on the couch, the guys exit.

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