Bachelor Party Page #2

EXT. THE BUSES

They race down a steep hill.

INT. THE BUS

The nauseous kid can't hold it any longer.

EXT. THE OTHER BUS

Something hits with a splat against the windshield that

resembles Campbell's Chunky Vegetable Soup.

INT. THE OTHER BUS

The other Driver turns on the windshield. It only makes it

worse.

EXT. THE STREET

Rick's bus pulls out in front, accompanied by the cheering

of his passengers. Suddenly a stop light looms ahead. Rick

puts on his brakes. Both buses stop just in time.

INT. RICK'S BUS

Rick's kids are all piled in a clump right behind him in the

front of the bus. Although disheveled, the kids still manage

a victorious cheer.

PHOTOGRAPHER'S POV

We're LOOKING THROUGH the camera lens. We SEE a cute one-

year-old baby boy. He's sitting on a cuddly blanket. We HEAR

the VOICE of Jay O'Neill. He is a baby photographer at Sears.

O'NEILL (O.S.)

Okay, Timmy... hold that smile...

and watch the birdie.

He takes the picture and we SEE the camera flash.

O'NEILL (O.S.)

There.

O'NEILL

We see he has his camera and backdrop set up in the camera

department behind a velour curtain which blacks out the rest

of the store. He's conservatively dressed in a suit, vest

and tie. He looks like he could be a Young Republican. But

under those Sears clothes is a man a little off center. Rick's

best friend. Need we say more? He takes the film out of the

camera. The matronly mother is in the process of gathering

up her baby.

O'NEILL

These should be in the mail to you

by next Friday.

She smiles and exits.

O'NEILL

(continuing)

Next.

A beautiful -- and we're talking gorgeous -- WOMAN enters.

Her clothes hug every curve of her body. She has her baby in

her arms. O'Neill immediately wants her, and now. His eyes

settle onto her full breasts. These he likes.

O'NEILL

(continuing)

Whoa. Look at those babies.

She gets this innuendo and loves it.

O'NEILL

(continuing)

How are we doing? My name is O'Neill.

And you are...?

WOMAN:

Klupner.

(teasing)

Mrs. Klupner.

O'NEILL

Mrs.?

WOMAN:

I'm separated.

O'NEILL

Then there is a God. Why don't we

take that baby picture.

He takes the baby. He has a hard time taking his eyes off

her breasts. He places the baby on the blanket.

O'NEILL

(continuing)

If I were you, I'd breast feed until

I was 17 or 18.

(gets behind camera;

sizing up the shot)

Tell ya what...

O'NEILL'S POV THROUGH CAMERA

We SEE the baby sitting on the blanket.

O'NEILL (O.S.)

Why don't you lean into the picture

with your child?

She coyly leans INTO FRAME.

O'NEILL (O.S.)

(continuing)

A-huh. A little more... good!

She is totally blocking her baby out of the picture.

O'NEILL

He gets out from behind the camera.

O'NEILL

I'm getting one heck of a glare off

your dress there. Could you undo a

few buttons?

WOMAN:

(seductively)

Of course.

She starts to unbutton her blouse. O'Neill looks into his

camera.

O'NEILL'S POV THROUGH LENS

We SEE the Woman finish her last button.

O'NEILL (O.S.)

Now lean in a little more... more...

more...

As she complies, her breasts all but spill out of her dress.

O'NEILL (O.S.)

(continuing)

Hold that pose.

O'NEILL

He runs from behind the camera and poses with the woman.

THROUGH CAMERA LENS

We SEE a QUICK SERIES of camera flashes. Each pose finds him

near her breasts. He has them on his head. He's cheek to

breast. Etc.

RICK:

enters and witnesses the photo session. He immediately jumps

into the shots.

THROUGH CAMERA LENS

Rick joins the craziness. After several beats, the Woman

gets bored and EXITS the FRAME.

THE WOMAN:

As Rick and O'Neill continue mugging like two 12-year-olds

in a photo booth, the Woman takes her child and exits. A few

beats pass and the guys notice they're alone.

O'NEILL

Where'd she go?

RICK:

She probably had sex scheduled for

12:
30. O'Neill, let's pick up the

guys for a drink... I have major

news to announce.

O'Neill crosses to his camera and takes out the film.

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