Bachelor Party Page #3

O'NEILL

Okay... be right with ya.

RICK:

He picks up some photographs of today's work.

INSERT - PHOTOS

Each one has a different mother in several seductive poses.

Their babies are barely visible, if at all.

RICK (O.S.)

Pictures a family will cherish

forever.

EXT. CHULO'S AUTO SHOP - DAY

Rick's school bus pulls into the yard of the auto shop.

Several Chicanos are working on various cars. Rick and O'Neill

hop out.

RICK:

Hey, Chulo, where are you, man?

ANGLE - LATE-MODEL CAR

We SEE a very large pair of shoes sticking out from under

the chassis. Slowly, a large, bear-like body rolls out and

we catch our first glimpse of CHULO. A happy-go-lucky mechanic

of Mexican ancestry.

CHULO:

Hey, you guys, what's going on?

RICK:

We're going for a little liquid

refreshment.

CHULO:

Great. I'll go with you. Wait a

second. Hey, Raul! Move that car,

will you?

A SMALL MECHANIC with an eye patch gets into a car behind

them as we DOLLY WITH the guys THROUGH the lot.

CHULO:

(continuing)

Roberto, you finished fixing that

lighter yet?

Another MECHANIC sticks his face out of another car and shakes

his head. Just then Raul, the eye-patched worker, whizzes by

behind the guys, driving the car in a zig-zag pattern right

into traffic.

CHULO:

(continuing; to Rick)

I'm glad you guys came by... What's

the occasion?

O'NEILL

Rick's got an important announcement

to make.

CHULO:

Yeah. What is it?

RICK:

I've decided not to run for President.

CHULO:

Too bad, man, that blows my chance

to be Ambassador to France.

Behind them we can SEE Roberto fiddling with the lighter.

Suddenly flames leap out of the car, blowing Roberto ten

feet into the air.

ANGLE:

The guys all start to pile into the bus. Nearby another

employee is washing down the garage with a hose.

Chulo turns to another mechanic, who has his head under the

hood of a car.

CHULO:

Manuel, be sure and finish up the

electrical system on that Chevy.

Manuel waves at Chulo, who turns, hops on the bus. Rick starts

it up and starts to drive away. Just as the bus CLEARS FRAME,

we SEE Manuel connect two wires together at the same moment

the guy with the hose washes down the area around his feet.

Manuel lights up like a Christmas tree, screaming in pain.

There is a beat, and then Robert falls INTO FRAME, still

holding the cigarette lighter, and the car Raul is driving

enters the lot and smashes into the side of the garage.

INT. OFFICE BUILDING - DAY

A sign on an office door says "CONCERT TICKET AGENCY." From

inside we HEAR someone TALKING loudly on the phone. Chulo,

Rick and O'Neill open the door and go inside. On the walls

in the cramped office there are rock 'n' roll concert posters

advertising rock bands like Men At Work, The Clash and Barry

Manilow. Behind a cluttered desk we FIND a little man with a

thin mustache and horn-rimmed glasses. This is GARY MELNITZ,

wheeler-dealer, entrepreneur and coward. Gary yells a lot,

which is a definite overcompensation for his size and

inability to deal with the opposite sex.

GARY:

(yelling; into phone)

Screw you... Screw that... Don't

jerk me around. You promised me 1500

seats for the Police Concert... 1500,

not fifteen!... Screw that... Screw

you -- Screw Sting.

(hangs up and sees

the guys standing

there)

Hi, guys.

RICK:

Gary, you're quite an animal.

GARY:

Screw you...

The PHONE RINGS.

GARY:

(continuing; into

phone)

Hello, Concert tickets... What? Pat

Benitar has a yeast infection? She's

cancelling? Screw her. You know what

this is gonna cost me?...

(he hangs up)

Okay. Let's go.

He gets up and they start for the door. Just then the PHONE

RINGS. Gary picks it up.

GARY:

(annoyed)

Screw you... That's crap... Suck

my...

(softly)

Oh, Mom, I didn't know it was you...

eggs and milk... Okay, I won't forget.

He hangs up the phone and they start for the door again.

GARY:

Let's go.

RICK:

Isn't he incredible, gets along with

everybody.

CHULO:

Yeah, he's really got his thing

together.

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