Bachelor Party Page #4

GARY:

Oh, eat me!

The guys all laugh and exit.

INT. HARBORSIDE INN - DAY

It's a quiet restaurant near a Marina. A lot of business-

people in suits are eating.

TWO MALE CUSTOMERS

CUSTOMER ONE calls for a waiter.

CUSTOMER ONE:

Waiter.

The WAITER approaches them from OUT OF FRAME.

CUSTOMER ONE:

We'd like to order now.

ANOTHER ANGLE:

We see their waiter, RYKO, a blond, tanned, muscular beach

bum who has definitely stayed out in the sun too long.

RYKO:

How you guys doin'... Could you

believe how overcast it was this

morning? Bad day for sailin', waves

are too rough and...

CUSTOMER:

(annoyed)

You can skip the small craft warnings.

We're in a hurry.

RYKO:

No prob, bud... Here's today's

dealie...

He holds up a blackboard with the day's menu.

RYKO:

We got... uh, veal... ah... veal...

(to customer)

What's this word?

CUSTOMER ONE:

Parmisan.

RYKO:

Yeah right. I always want to say

Paramisian when I see that. We looked

at them under the jigamabob in biology

once. Little squirmy, creepy things

that live in your intestine and...

CUSTOMER:

Please... We have an appointment in

a half hour...

RYKO:

Wow, sounds stressful. What do you

guys do for a living?

CUSTOMER ONE:

We're lawyers.

RYKO:

Whoa... You got to go to school for

that or what?

CUSTOMER:

(he's had enough)

Look, forget the specials. We'll

take three hamburgers.

RYKO:

Okay, great... Any of you guys got a

pencil by any chance?

One of the customers shrugs and hands him a pen.

RYKO:

(impressed)

All right, a Bic... How 'bout a piece

of paper?

Ryko's customers look totally disgusted as Ryko's short

attention span is interrupted by something he sees O.S.

ANOTHER ANGLE:

Rick and the guys appear in the bar.

RICK:

Ryko. Come on!

They all disappear into the bar area.

RYKO:

Be right there.

(to customers)

Nice rappin' with you guys.

Unfortunately I'm outta here. Someone

else will have to help you.

(calling off)

Skip!

The customers are pleased to get rid of Ryko. SKIP enters.

He's a clone of Ryko.

SKIP:

Like um... What's the deal, you guys

gonna order?

The customers give each other a "Here we go again" look

ANGLE - THE GUYS

They're laughing uproariously and carrying on as Ryko comes

over and sits down.

RYKO:

Hi pals.

The guys acknowledge him.

GARY:

Okay... We're all here. Rick, what's

the big announcement?

ANGLE - RICK

RICK:

All right, gentlemen, I'm not gonna

sugar-coat this thing. I've known

you guys since grade school, so I'm

gonna give it to you straight from

the hip... right from the shoulder...

without beating around the bush...

Nothing fancy, just the plain, hard

facts... tell it like it is.

CHULO:

Man, you're losing your audience.

RICK:

Okay... This is it... I'm getting

married.

O'NEILL

What?

CHULO:

You're kidding.

GARY:

I don't believe it.

RYKO:

F*** me!

RICK:

Yes, gentlemen. Saturday after next,

I lose my amateur standing and turn

pro.

CHULO:

Hey, man, congratulations!

Chulo gets up and gives Rick a big bear hug... The other

guys shake his hand.

GARY:

Wait a minute. You been living with

Debbie! Why do you want to get

married?

RICK:

Because I love her. What can I tell

you?

RYKO:

You sure? This means no more partying.

RICK:

No more raping and pillaging, either.

You'll have to carry on without me.

GARY:

Next Saturday... That's just two

more weeks to live.

O'NEILL

Hold it... As long as you're gonna

go through with this, the least we

can do is make sure you go out in

style.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes