Bad Ass Page #6

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You got some little lady friend

over there, Vega?

Well, in that case, I'm gonna go

over there myself and check it out.

You're at the end of an era, big Frank.

But I gotta give you respect, man.

You're going out like a champ.

Continue on without me.

What the?!

I was wondering when those two

were gonna leave.

Hey, hey, hey! Hey!

What's up, buddy? What's going on?

Get the f*** out of here!

Hey!

Hey! That's my bus! What are you doing?

Hey! Hey, man! That's my bus!

Hold it, hold it!

I gotta take your bus.

It's a matter of life and death.

You're that Bad Ass dude, right?

Yeah, take it. Take it, it's yours, man.

You're awesome. I love you, man.

You're the best! Enjoy the bus!

Get out of the f***ing way!

Oh, sh*t!

There you are, you son of a b*tch.

Creeping up my ass, huh?

Out of my way, b*tches!

Sorry! I'm out of change!

Oh, sh*t!

I'm here on behalf of my best friend,

Klondike Washington.

You killed him.

How do you wanna die, motherf***er?

Let's do it.

How do you like that,

you cocksucking motherf***er?!

Oh, sh...

No, see, 'cause... What the f***?

I thought we killed you, fucko.

Son of a b*tch,

this motherf***er won't die.

Well, that's about to change about now.

Come on, give me a break, man.

You have any idea how

you've completely messed up our lives?

Because of you we're a joke.

We got kicked out of the brotherhood.

His girlfriend left him.

Yeah, and we're getting bullied

by anybody over the age of 60.

All that viral bullshit?

That's about to change.

Yeah. Let's make a little

f***ing movie of our own.

- Yeah.

- Ready? Action!

Ow! You got my foot!

I can't wait to see

what this footage looks like.

How the hell did Frank score

a sweet piece of ass like you?

Who the f*** are you?

Look, we can make this easy

or we can make it hard.

Tell me where that f***ing

flash drive is!

I don't know what you're talking about.

I don't know anything

about a flash drive.

You wanna make it hard? Then I'm gonna

cut your f***ing head off!

Motherf***er, your ass is mine now!

- Are you ready for an ass-whipping?

- Come on with it.

Sh*t!

Come on! Get your ass up!

Who's the bad ass now,

huh, Frank? It's over!

No, it's over for you, motherf***er!

You know, I should have cut your f***ing

head off when I had the goddamn...

Whoo!

That was for Klondike.

B*tch.

Oh, my God...

- Are you OK?

- Yeah, I'm fine.

Wow. I've never had

a woman rescue me before.

Well, I always got my man's back.

I'm just glad that you're OK.

I'm all right.

Oh, Frank, look.

- You're leaking everywhere.

- It's OK.

Let's go get that first aid kit and

maybe I'll clean you up this time.

You really f***ed him up, huh?

Somebody...

Somebody send... ambulance.

Somebody send an ambulance.

You might remember him as Bad Ass,

the bearded hero

who stood up for an elderly gentleman

on an SC Transit bus

and became an overnight

Internet sensation.

Well, Bad Ass, aka Frank Vega,

is back in the news,

as he uncovered one of the city's

biggest political corruption scandals

involving Mayor Williams and the most

dangerous organized street gang

in the country.

Mayor, can we have a statement?

I've been targeted by special

interest groups who are trying

to destroy my agenda.

I assure you that my name

will be cleared of all wrongdoing.

Well then, how do you explain

your payroll links to organized crime?

I can assure you that once all of

the facts have seen the light of day,

I will be cleared of all charges.

That's all I have to say.

Because of his heroic efforts, Vega,

who is a decorated Vietnam War veteran

and native of Los Angeles, was made

an honorary police officer this morning.

Congratulations, Frank.

It's been a long time coming, my man.

Vega was appointed

head of community outreach

and will begin his new post,

effective immediately.

Well... I don't know what to say.

I've been waiting for this

for over 40 years.

I'm very, very proud.

I'd like to thank, uh...

...Officer Malark...

- So you got a girlfriend, huh?

Yeah, man, I got two.

You know how I be. I'm a player.

- I'm gonna have three next week.

- Oh, really?

How'd you get him to open up

and talk about all his girlfriends?

I tortured him.

Well, why don't you torture him

some more? I need more information.

I can't do that.

I mean, that's man stuff.

Well, I hope you men are hungry.

- Starving.

- Good.

You know...

...I think I actually found

the best day of my life.

I think it'd be better

if you trimmed that damn beard.

Martin.

- But he does have a point, Frank.

- Hey, I just trimmed it.

I don't see it.

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