Bad Ass Page #5

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- OK.

Either you straighten your sh*t up,

or get the f*** out of here.

OK! OK!

You want that b*tch?

You can f***ing have her.

You all right?

Thank you.

It's gonna be OK.

It's all gonna be OK.

- I'm sorry.

- Don't be sorry.

Where's Martin?

He spent the night over

at his friend's house.

Are you gonna be OK?

Are you gonna be OK?

- I mean, you look exhausted.

- I didn't get any sleep.

A little tired.

Low on blood sugar, I think.

Why don't you go and take a nap,

and when you wake up,

maybe I can make you

something nice to eat.

Best offer I've had in 20 years.

Wow.

I clean up good, don't I?

And you brought me flowers.

Thank you.

That is the perfect color on you, Frank.

You know, it's my passion.

Whenever I garden,

I always feel like I'm at peace.

It's really where I feel the happiest.

You kind of remind me of my mom.

She practically lived in the garden.

She always kept like, a beautiful bush.

Wait, I'm sorry,

that didn't come out right.

No, no, no.

Hey, hygiene is very important.

That's for sure.

Can I keep these?

Of course.

I know it sounds kind of corny,

but I'm a big fan of mementos.

Now...

...every time I look at this, I'll think

of this moment. Kind of corny, isn't it?

Well, no, actually I think

it's kind of sweet.

Wow, a home cooked meal.

This is delicious.

This rates up there with Mom's.

Thank you so much.

No, thank you.

I can't tell you how nice it is

to actually cook

for someone who appreciates it.

Why did you marry him?

Wait, that's none

of my business. I'm sorry.

- Forget...

- No, look, it's fine.

Hey, I'm a big girl, right?

You know, he was different back then.

And it was fun

and it was exciting and...

...I got pregnant with Martin and

then we just decided to get married.

To Martin.

To Martin.

No, I just thought you were

this crazy, hulking angry man

who went around town beating up people.

Well, I have done some things

I'm not proud of.

No, what I mean is that I would've

never known that underneath

is this sweet and kind and gentle man

with a heart of gold.

Well, now you're making me sound like

some kind of nice guy or something.

You are.

What's up, shorties?

- Hey.

- Hi.

Kevin's grounded so his

mama sent me home early.

Oh, sh*t! Pie!

Scoot over! Whatcha?

Move.

OK.

Oh, I get it. It's like a party line

with computers.

What the hell's a party line?

It's where a group of people

can call in all at the same time

and talk to each other.

It's kind of amazing.

Where have you been, kid?

Man, that's called a conference call.

What's wrong with you?

I think you're the only human being

on the planet that's not on Facebook.

I hooked you up with an email address,

so if anyone offers a friend request,

it'll come straight to your mailbox.

Do you mean like people can call up

and ask to be my friend?

Maybe. Especially if you get

yourself some new clothes.

You look like a goodwill

ambassador for Goodwill.

Are you kidding?

These clothes are fresh.

I got a very distinctive style

that spans many generations.

Yeah, that's another way of saying

you got hand-me-downs, b*tch.

That sh*t you got on look like

it came from your dad

when he fought in the Civil War.

So...

...how long you think I'm gonna

be living here without a door?

Well, I gotta get some brand-new hinges

and I'll fix it in the morning,

but in the meantime,

you stay at my house.

- No, Frank, we can't do that.

- Oh, yeah, you can.

You bet your ass I ain't sleeping

in a house without a door.

What the? I can't believe this sh*t.

You already have 50 friend requests...

and the sh*t just keeps going.

Guess I won't be needing

those new threads, huh?

- Jesus, Frank.

- Thought I'd find you here.

- What is this?

- Open it up.

- It's called a flash drive.

- Yeah, I know what it's called.

- What's on it?

- Some pretty classified stuff.

So classified

they killed Klondike for it.

Why don't you and I

go get a cup of coffee?

- I got some stuff I gotta take care of.

- Frank, what's going on?

- Nothing I can't handle.

- Look, you've already done enough.

- Let us handle it from here.

- Don't let nobody see that.

And if anything should happen to me,

take care of Baxter.

Frank.

Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.

Uh, I haven't been to confession

since my daddy died, so...

...cut me a little slack.

Go ahead. Tell me your sins, my son.

I haven't lived the greatest life.

There's, uh, plenty that

I'm not proud of.

But I'm about to do something tonight...

...that will not sit right in

the eyes of the Heavenly Father.

What is it, my son?

I'm seeking revenge

in the name of my brother.

Looking for somebody, OG?

I'm looking for Panther.

He's unavailable.

Tell him Frank Vega wants to see him.

Frank Vega,

aka Bad Ass.

The one who sliced off my man's hand

by using a garbage disposal?

I've been waiting for you, ese.

You're very popular

these days, Mr. Vega.

It's very impressive.

But it looks like you've bitten off

a little bit more than you can chew.

You murdered my best friend.

Oh, you make it sound like

I was at fault here.

Your boy stole from me.

I repay for loyalty

and I dispose for disloyalty.

Now, I think you have

something of mine.

Hand over the drive.

The what?

The flash drive, Vega, hand it over.

What the f***'s a flash drive?

It's an inch-long storage device

that uses solid-state memory to store

persistent data from your computer.

Oh, flash drive. Where did?

Oh, yeah, you know,

I stuck that up your ass...

Cock-a-doodle-doo!

Rise and shine, big fella.

You feeling a little better now?

Oh, oh...

Flashbacks of Ho Chi Minh City,

huh, Vega?

We wanted you to relive

the salad days of your youth.

Let's give him a taster.

Oh, man! Oh, it's refreshing!

What a nice way to end the day,

don't you think?

Let me explain something to you.

That drive has information regarding

a deal I have with the city

to bring in a tremendous

amount of revenue.

It's gonna do wonders

for this community.

I'm bringing in big change

over here, my man.

You'd be doing

a public service to return it.

If you call raising crime

to chase people out,

so you can build oil wells in their

backyards, a public service,

count me out.

All right.

Let's get down to the brass tacks.

Where... is...

...the motherfucking drive?

It's in... your a**hole.

Is that all you've got, b*tch?

Damn, you old fucks are hard to crack.

Your boy Klondike was the same way.

Stubborn motherfuckers.

Well then, let's try turning it up

to the maximum level,

reserved only for the likes

of the African bush elephant

and the Siberian moose. Shall we?

All right!

OK. OK.

Frank, where's the f***ing drive?

OK. OK.

All right. It's...

It's really up your ass.

I can't do this anymore.

Give me his wallet.

Well, goddamn, bro.

You live right up in the

motherfucking hood and sh*t.

There's nothing there.

You're wasting your time.

What was that, Vega?

Who do you have over there?

Oh, yeah.

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