Bad Ass Page #4

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Mama.

You're leaking.

Are you OK?

- Yeah, I'm fine. I'm OK.

- No, you're not.

- Yeah, I think I am. Thank you.

- Actually, you're not.

I got a first aid kit inside.

Let's get you cleaned up.

You don't want him to see you like that.

OK, here, now you gotta keep this on

at least 20 minutes.

OK, so what,

now you're a doctor?

No, my mom was a nurse.

She taught me how to

take care of the small stuff.

I filled in for a medic in Vietnam

when he got his arm blown off.

Do you want something

to eat or drink?

No, no. Actually, I'm good.

You know, I got a couple of Hungry-Man

dinners in there that are delicious.

Wow, that's real sweet, Frank,

but we actually ate dinner

already, so, we're good.

I mean, they're no Julia Child,

but they're really good.

Wow. Look at you.

What do you know about Julia Child?

I love the Food Channel,

but I can't cook worth spit.

I can cook pretty good. Maybe one day

I'll make you something to eat.

I'd love that.

Oh, you know what? I got something.

Here. These are the bomb.

Oh, no, I'm sorry.

Ice cream is my enemy.

No, no, these are low fat.

Not that you need it.

Did you say "the bomb"?

What, you living in the '90s, fool?

Martin. Stop being rude.

Damn, that's good. Is this the good sh*t

they gave you during the last supper?

Boy!

Damn, Mama, you still got skills.

I sure do,

and you better not forget it.

Excuse me. Could any of you gentlemen

tell me where I could find Renaldo?

I know what you must be thinking, man.

"Who is this guy, coming in here

demanding sh*t?"

It's just important.

I gotta find Renaldo.

- So you're that Bad Ass dude.

- No, not really.

Let's see what type of bad ass you are.

- It don't have to be this way.

- Oh, yeah, it does.

Get out of the way!

All right, amigo, calm down!

Renaldo, he's upstairs.

Just stop f***ing up my bar.

Thanks for the help.

I appreciate that.

Yo, what the f***, man?

I just need to ask you some questions

about your friend Terence.

I don't think you're gonna have time.

Where the f*** is Terence?

- What the f***, man?!

- The problem, Renaldo,

is that I have a bad case of bursitis.

- Cocksucker!

- What's bursitis, you ask?

It's an inflammation of the joints

that doesn't allow me

- to hold onto anything too long.

- F*** you, man!

- Holy sh*t!

- See? That was my good hand.

OK, OK, OK, OK!

Terence hangs out with

this b*tch named Tatiana

down at the massage parlor

on 10th Street, all right?

That's all the f*** I know!

Now help me up!

Yeah, that wasn't hard, was it?

You a**hole! Don't f***in'

leave me out here!

- Come on!

- Sorry for the interruption, ladies.

Oh. Tell Renaldo

to put this on my tab.

Hey.

Are you stalking me or something?

What, a friend can't stop by

and say hello?

Come on, ride shotgun with me.

You're not gonna

hit on me again, are you?

Jesus Christ, get in the car.

So, what've you been up to?

Ah, same old, you know.

Really?

That's not what I've been hearing.

Don't know what you're talking about.

They say you've been leaving

a bloody trail all across the city.

Doesn't sound familiar to me.

Frank, the police chief was this close

to issuing a warrant for your arrest.

- I had to talk him off the ledge.

- Arrest? Arrest me for what?

- For doing his job?

- OK, see, that's the thing, Frank.

You're not supposed to do their job.

You're supposed to stay the f*** away.

You know what? Pull over.

- What?

- Pull the f*** over.

You know, I know you're

trying to do the best for me,

but I can't stand around and

watch a bunch of a**holes do nothing

about my best friend being killed.

Frank, you're getting in over

your head here, all right?

You're to the point now

where even I can't help you.

I don't want your help.

- You've got something of ours!

- What?!

The flash drive, a**hole.

Your boy took it from us.

What the f***'s a flash drive?

It's an inch-long storage device

that uses solid-state memory

to store persistent data from

your computer. Where is it?

Oh, that.

That's in... your ass.

What the f***?!

Motherf***er.

Next time call before you drop by.

What's up, cracker?

Hey, kid, do you know

anything about flash drives?

Crestview? That's our hood.

City permits?

"Panther"?

What the hell was Klondike involved in?

I'd like to set up

a massage with Tatiana.

OK, right.

I want you to know this

is my first massage ever.

A virgin? I'm honored.

Wow. You've got great hands.

- So do we know each other?

- Excuse me?

- You asked for me. You must know me.

- I'm kind of looking for someone.

- Who?

- Terence.

We broke up.

You know where I could

get a hold of him?

Nope.

I... I just realized I'm double booked.

Diane will be here in a few minutes

to finish you off.

Lost your keys?

Uh... I'm visiting my girlfriend.

- Do you mind killing that?

- Tatiana's your girl?

- Yeah, yeah. For about six months.

- Really?

'Cause it kind of looked like

you were trying to break in there.

Trying to surprise her.

It's her birthday.

Romantic. You mind

stepping up a little closer?

I wanna see who it is I'm shooting.

Hey...

...aren't you that Bad Ass dude?

Holy sh*t. I'm a huge fan.

The way you kicked the sh*t

out of those a-holes, ah,

that was priceless, man.

You're a tough son of a b*tch.

Good for you.

I appreciate that.

I'm gonna head on inside.

Cool. You keep on kicking ass,

my friend.

The world needs people like you.

All right.

Uh...

You know Tatiana keeps

the back door open, right?

Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's right. Thanks.

Oh, Terence...

That's what I'm saying. Come on!

What's this? Make-up sex?

Oh, sh*t!

F***!

You killed my best friend,

Klondike Washington.

How do you wanna die,

motherf***er?

- F*** you.

- OK.

What the f***

you think you're doing, a**hole?

This might sting a little.

No! No...

Stop! Stop!

I didn't kill your friend, man!

Who did?

It was Sebastian!

We were just doing

what we were f***ing told!

- By who?

- I can't say!

- Are you sure?

- I can't say!

I respect that.

It was Panther! It was Panther!

Where is he?

I don't know!

That's too bad, because we're

really f***ing up this kitchen.

No! OK! OK, OK.

He and Sebastian...

...they'll be at the Bergamont Loft.

- He'll be where?

- The Bergamont Loft!

F***ing tomorrow night, man!

I wanna thank you for giving me a hand.

By the way,

your wife's got a message for you.

She said, "Go f*** yourself!"

I hope you're a righty.

- Thanks, Ronnie.

- You got it, Frank.

Get off of me!

Do what I f***ing

tell you to do, b*tch.

You know what? F*** you, OK?

I'm done. Get the f*** out of my...

- Show me some f***ing respect.

- F*** you!

- F*** me?

- Yeah.

I wouldn't if I were you.

What the f*** you doing in my house?

What the f*** you doing in my house?

Look, I don't want to get into it

with you. Just leave her alone.

What did you?

Are you f***ing this old man?

Get the f***...

Ah! OK!

You don't deserve this family.

- You don't deserve any family.

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