Bad Medicine Page #2

studying to do.

Well, it's the first

day of school.

You know

what they say,

All work

and no play.

Yeah? That's what

I say, too. Bye-Bye.

So tell me, Ortega,

Why do I get

these dizzy spells?

What happened just prior

to getting dizzy?

Can you discern

a pattern?

No.

Is there something

you're not telling me?

How long have you been

a widower, Ramon?

Since my wife died.

That's five years ago.

Any women in your life?

My mother.

I meant in a

romantic sense.

No. The pure ones

are too young.

The rest are loose.

Any lovers?

No.

Whores?

Tsh!

Do you masturbate?

You're

a degenerate!

You know, in England,

Many Victorian women

experienced dizzy spells

Thought to be a result

of sexual repression.

This is

your diagnosis?

So now you're

Sigmund Freud.

My religion

forbids fornication

Outside of marriage,

As does yours,

dr. Ortega.

And now, if you're

quite finished,

I must go.

Ramon.

Ramon!

Mother, mother,

let me help you.

Here, mother.

Come.

Where would you

like to sit today?

On the porch.

On the porch.

On the porch we go.

Ughh!

Bye.

Good-Bye, Ortega.

When will you

be home?

After school.

Good-Bye.

What the hell is he

talking about here?

Oh!

Oh!

Aah!

Whoa! I got you.

You all right?

I think we should

begin pueblo day...

That's what I call

my field trip idea.

Pueblo day.

Because, we'll be going into

a pueblo village.

You see, we send the

students to a village,

Bringing medical aid

to the peasants.

It's humanitarian.

And the publicity

will make us

The most famous school

in Latin America.

I feel...

What do the American students

think of my school, Gomez?

What?

Don't you

listen to me?

Sandoval reports

They feel the classes

are too slow.

One student referred to it

as a Mickey mouse school.

Mickey mouse?

The cartoon mouse?

That's the only

Mickey mouse I know.

Who said this,

the girl?

Which girl?

Parker, the one

who slapped me.

Oh. No, it was

one of the boys.

I feel that pueblo

day should begin

With a great speech

by you.

Then we will

send the students

Into a village

Where they have

never seen a doctor

Before

in their lives.

Slow?

What?

They think that we're slow,

They think that

we're Mickey mice?

Let's see

how fast they are.

Schedule examinations.

Certainly.

For when?

Tomorrow.

Atencion, estudiantes,

La Universidad de Madera

Look, I'll be honest with you,

I don't like rules.

Shh! Shh!

Maiana a las 8:
00.

Holy sh*t!

Holy sh*t! We've got

an exam tomorrow.

Already?

How am I supposed to learn

this all in one night?

Surprise exam.

I can't do this.

This is ridiculous.

This is a pain in the ass.

I'm going to have

a goddamn heart attack.

Night-Night.

You finished studying?

Sure. I've got

a study buddy.

Who?

Benny.

Benny? Benny.

I don't know a Benny.

Let me introduce you

to speedy Benny,

My one-A-Day vitamin

for the brain.

Uppers.

That's right.

One a day?

How do you sleep?

Drop a lude.

Psychopharmacology's

my field.

Surgery is obsolete,

Jeff.

Drugs are the future

of medicine.

Y'all want one?

Mm-Hmm.

oh, I left a good job

in the city

workin' for the man

every night and day

and I never lost

one minute of sleepin'

worryin' about the way

things might have been

big wheel

keep on turnin'

turnin'

proud Mary

keep on burnin'

burnin'

rollin'

rollin'

rollin' on the river

go 'head now

rollin'

rollin'

and we're rollin'

yeah

rollin' on the river

give a toot toot

toot toot toot

toot toot toot

toot toot toot

ooooo...

This is the

international operator.

Please deposit

1,000 more pesos.

I don't have

1,000 more pesos.

Ok.

Oh, good. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you.

This is

the Marx residence...

Dad! This is me, Jeff. Listen. You were

right about school, and I was wrong.

I love it down here. I got a million

ideas and I know what I want to do.

...not home right now.

If it's a medical

emergency,

Our beeper numbers

are 555-2201 and 2.

Wait for the beep.

dad,

this is me, Jeff.

Listen, you were right about school.

I was wrong, and I got a million ideas

Dad! Listen it's me, Jeff. Listen,

you were right about school.

I was wrong and I know what I want

to do, dad. I know what I want to

Specialize in.

Everything!

Nobody does that!

Isn't that great?

Wait a minute, dad.

We could be partners.

Marx and son.

We could open up thousands of

clinics. Franchise like McDonalds.

Dad?

Hello?

I lost him.

He's gone. He's gone.

The guy's gone.

Oh, wait. Ok, fine.

What haven't I done?

What haven't I done?

Studied. Oh, shh...

uh...

Musculos de...

Uh!

Uh, no!

Uh!

Oomph!

Ok.

You know

the material.

You're ready.

Aah!

Aah!

You can work

and play.

You're

in my seat.

What? Oh.

Sorry.

Empieze el examen.

Gracias.

How did you do?

Pardon.

Pardon. Pardon.

Ha ha! Got my 95, you?

Ausente?

What's ausente mean?

That's Spanish

for absent.

But you were there,

weren't you?

Yeah, I was

right next to you.

Cervantes!

Dr. Cervantes.

Look, Sandoval

wrote me absent by mistake.

I want you to come to

dr. Madera with me.

No, no, no.

No, you don't understand.

I sat in the wrong seat.

Dr. Cervantes, please!

I'm sorry.

Please!

No!

It won't do

any good.

Dr. Madera is a complete

unreasonable man.

Buenos dias, senior.

Buenos dias, seniorita.

Me Ilamo Jeff...

Heffrey Marrex.

Of course, Mr. Marx.

Hey, you pronounced

it right.

You're the first one

so far.

Well, I learned English

by seeing your films

And reading

your classics.

Yeah. Um,

is dr. Madera in?

The doctor

is all tied up right now.

Oh, please.

Please.

Is it possible that

I see him in another...

That is a beautiful watch.

Is it a Rolex?

It looks so nice

on your lusty arm.

There are many beautiful

things in America.

I often dream

of being there.

So do I.

The pueblo I have chosen

for pueblo day

Is the village of

San Agustin.

It is very primitive,

very remote,

And the peasants have

never seen a doctor

In their lives,

so they won't object

To being treated

by medical students.

I am sending a select

group of students,

Including

the Americans.

It will make

for great drama

And guarantee publicity.

It could put us right up there

with the Mexicans.

How much will it cost?

Just gas money

and medication.

No, no, no. No medication

because they're only students.

I mean, what if they

hurt somebody?

No medication?

It's just

gas money, then.

Have these drug requisitions

filled at the pharmacy,

Then deliver them

to the infirmary.

Maria,

it's a great day.

Madera, Madera...

The doctor

is free now.

Hello.

Who are you?

What do you want?

I'm a first-Year

student, sir

And it's about my anatomy exam.

Um, Sandoval...

I sat in the wrong seat

during attendance,

And he marked me absent

by mistake.

And, as you can see

for yourself,

Here's my test.

If you just look at it.

There's my name, the date,

the grade, a 96.

And dr. Cervantes will

verify that I was there

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