Bad Medicine Page #3

And I took the exam.

Dr. Cervantes?

Si. I remember him.

Thank you, sir.

The record stands.

The grade remains an absent.

Sir, I fail to see

the logic here.

Dr. Cervantes just...

Well, in any event,

Cervantes...

Cervantes has nothing

to do with attendance.

Yeah, I know, but it's

obvious I took the test...

You want Cervantes

to take the attendance

And Sandoval

to teach the class?

No, of course not.

Then everything

is in order. Dismissed.

Sir! If you just

take a look.

You see my name,

the date, the grade...

What is wrong with you?

Why do you behave like this?

Here I give you

an opportunity to study

In one of the world's

great medical schools,

Soon to become famous,

and you act like a child!

A doctor must be a man!

Yes, I could have

taken you at your word

And accepted

your examination,

But that would be

the easy way out.

From my years of experience

in medical school

I can tell you that

adversity builds character.

Soon, you will

thank me for this.

I am waiting.

Thank you?

You're welcome.

Dismissed.

Pueblo day!

A great day in this

particular institution.

A proud day

at Madera university.

For today, we send out

administering angels

To give medical attention

To poor peasants

in the countryside,

People who cannot

afford to come to us.

So what do we do?

We send you out to them

So that you can administer

this attention to them

In their own environment.

Yes, you,

The first doctors

in their lives.

Does UCLA do a thing

like this?

No.

Does John Hopkins

do a thing like this?

No.

But in the great

Madera university tradition

Of providing

the best medical training

For its students,

In my personal commitment

To improving

the quality of life

For all people,

Together we strive

to relieve the pain

And suffering

of a diseased world.

Go in peace, my students,

and may god bless you.

You are now entering

san Agustin,

Your pueblo assignment.

You will be graded.

So, please conduct

yourselves in the ways

Of everyday school.

In charge today

are myself and dr. Diaz.

Are there any questions?

Yeah.

Marrex.

Uh...

are we doctors?

That's a good question,

Marrex.

Any other questions?

Aver, senior Gomez,

una foto.

Quickly, quickly. Come on.

Come on, come on. Over here.

Please wait by the school.

Wait by the school.

Come on. Quickly, please.

Thank you.

Good, good.

Come on, students.

Everybody. Please.

Let's group to location.

Sn. Back up, please.

Thank you, thank you.

You behind.

Good, come over here.

This will make a nice picture.

Come on. Get

together, please.

And they were

never seen again.

Oiga, senior doctor.

Hi.

Buenos dias.

Buenos dias.

What is this place?

This is a prison.

Let's get out of here.

Yeah, we'll wait

on the bus.

Hey, hey, hey, hey!

Where are you going?

Nobody told us anything

about a prison.

So, what?

They need doctors, too.

But we're not doctors.

Come on,

Or you get

a failing grade.

Aah! Ha ha!

Ya ya ya ya!

They look healthy

to me. Let's go.

We can't.

We have to do something.

You start.

Why me?

What do I know?

Your father's a doctor.

You must have

watched him treat people.

His patients

aren't sick.

He's a plastic

surgeon.

I don't think any of these

guys are interested

In having

their b*obs lifted.

If any of you,

uh, feel bad,

Or if you think

That anything

is wrong with you,

Step forward.

Anything hurt

or bother you, Pedro?

Abajo.

Down where?

Come on,

you can tell me.

Uh, bad member.

Bad member.

Sn.

I understand.

Does it hurt

when you urinate?

Uh... when you pee?

You know...

Pssss, oww!

Yeah? Yeah.

I know what that is.

We've got that

in Tulsa, too.

Easy to fix.

Thank you.

Next.

What's your problem?

Bad member.

Oh, dr. Marx?

Sn.

Consultation, por favor.

Momentito.

Just put your hand

on your chin

And nod knowingly

as we talk, ok?

What does

your patient have?

My patient's a mute.

I can't find out

what's wrong with him.

The man's a mute...

I don't know.

Well, I'll tell you one thing

I think he does have,

And that's the clap.

They've all got it here.

I wonder

where they got it.

Hey! Excuse me!

Hey, you two,

come with me.

It's an emergency!

Come!

Dr. Diaz, these men

need shots.

I think they've

all got v. D.

We have no medicine.

All we have is

a hypodermic for you

To practice with

using water.

It's just

for publicity.

What's going on?

Where do you think

he's taking us?

I don't know. I'm not

privy to their agenda.

Well, anything's better

than that prison.

Follow him.

Vamos, vamos.

Wrong again, Jeff.

I gotta go

to the bathroom.

Me, too.

Go with him!

Alone?

Just us?

Go! There's a man

too sick to be moved!

Buenos dias, senor.

Hi. How are you?

Come. We go,

we go, we go.

Be right with you.

He's wearing a gun.

Two. All right, have you ever

ridden a mule before?

Is that what this is,

a mule?

I've got no

feeling left in my balls.

They're completely numb.

You're lucky.

Mine aren't.

Oh, here comes

a tree, Dennis.

Stay away

from the tree.

Don't tell me,

tell the mule!

This school owes me

a new pair of glasses.

Dennis, can't you

steer him any better?

Steer him?

He's not a car!

Cactus, cactus.

This is fun, huh?

Yeah. One day

we'll have to go

To the grand canyon

together.

We're here.

Oh, this is it, huh?

First house call.

How do I

get off this thing?

The same way

you got on.

Oh. Oh!

Oh, watch it.

Hurry, hurry.

Hope this place has a jacuzzi.

Come on, my father is very sick.

Yeah? We're not feeling

so great, either.

Los doctores estan

aqui ya, padre.

Help him, please.

This guy's dying!

Nice bedside manner,

Dennis.

Damn,

I can't find a pulse.

I think his heart

stopped.

What do we do?

Let's call a doctor.

We're the doctor.

All right, I'm gonna

give him mouth-To-Mouth.

You start

a heart massage.

All right.

One, two...

whoa!

What kind of man

are you?

Let go of me!

Come on!

Come one, come on,

come on.

This man needs a doctor.

What are we doing here?

What are we doing here?

I don't know what

we're doing here.

Come back to life. Come on,

man! Breathe, breathe, breathe.

I don't

get anything, man.

I don't get anything.

Come back!

Den, den, den.

It's over.

Senior,

we are very sorry.

We're very sorry.

We're very sorry.

He was very sick,

obviously, and...

we were,

we were too late.

Yes.

Uh, he's... he's dead.

Si.

Muertos.

muerto? Imuerto!

Sn.

We couldn't help.

You!

You kill my father!

No, no.

No, no.

No, we didn't kill him. He didn't

have a heartbeat. Let's get outta here.

We were just trying

to bring him back to life.

There is no such thing!

No, Jesus!

Oh, god! Are you hit?

Are you hit?

No, you are! Oh, my god!

Aah!

Aah!

Who made

this bandage?

It smells like

a Caesar salad.

The witch doctor.

I spit on her arm

three times

And danced all night.

And that

didn't work, huh?

Momentito.

Excuse me.

Yeah.

Take a look at this cut.

What does that look like to you?

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