Bad Night Page #8

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what she's talking about.

I'm not Viceroy. I'm Abby.

I'm so Abby. Look at me.

You even said so yourself.

Ha ha ha! I can't believe

I bought it.

My God, you two are so good.

Wowee, wowee, wowee.

We get it.

I gave you what you wanted.

Now can we go?

Ha! I suppose a deal's a deal.

- Who are you right now?

- Drop the act. We're beat.

He's onto us. Can we go?

You can leave when my buyer

authenticates this painting.

Please.

Little late, gentlemen.

Now let's see what

all this noise is about.

Is that a painting?

Kate, where did you get that?

You know where I got it,

Viceroy.

OK. Have seat. Relax.

We have time.

You need soda, chips,

Chex Mix, pretzels?

I have everything.

Wowee, wowee, wowee.

She's in.

- Can I have a gun?

- No.

It feels like

I should have a gun.

We might just pull this off.

Who's that?

Anyone can play CD.

"Look. I'm band."

You're basically DJ.

- Why'd you come back?

- I came back to save you.

Great job.

Ari?

Wheels, what the hell

are you doing here?

I thought you would've

gone AWOL.

I trusted you, guy.

Ari, listen.

You've got to let them go.

They're not

who you think they are.

They're in high school, man.

I have their real clothes.

- Smells horrible.

- I know.

There's something wrong

with them,

but they're not your pros.

You got to listen to me.

I made a mistake.

Mistake.

Perhaps you can

explain this, then.

I...

Wheels, only mistake you make

is coming back here.

You are liar, liar,

pants on fire!

I don't understand, man.

When'd you do this?

I was with you the entire time?

Don't ask me. I don't know what

the hell is going on anymore.

That's it.

He's about to kill them.

I can't believe I let you

talk me into this.

We have to get her

out of there now.

- Just wait.

- I'd love a gun.

I don't know

what you told these guys,

but they're

very dangerous people,

so whatever you told them,

you need to untell them.

- Ho ho ho!

- Kate!

Wowee, wowee.

This is what I'm talking about.

- Kate?

- Shut up. My name's Monarch.

Listen.

- Even, like, a little gun.

- Shh.

This is who you sent

to pick us up, Ari? Come on.

Listen. I don't know

what you think you're doing,

- but you need to stop...

- Ho ho ho!

You are the worst criminal I've

ever worked with in my life.

Took you about five minutes

to spill your guts, Andy.

What? "Andy"?

- "Andy"?

- Hello, Andy.

- Hi, Andy.

- Hello, Andy. Ha ha ha!

t's Raggedy Andy.

Ha ha ha!

I told you that in confidence.

I love these girls.

Poker club? Please.

Wheels...

excuse me... Andy, take seat.

Ha ha ha! You got b*tch-slapped.

Now you sit.

Andy. Sh*t, I'd want

to be called Wheels, too.

Good girl.

She's got balls.

I give her that.

Is this fun for you?

Who is that?

Romanticize my very being

Till the thought of me

corrupts the youth

I just want the truth, baby

I just want it a-all,

I just want it a-all

I just want the truth, baby

That is an awesome pantsuit.

Why'd you come back?

- I came back to save you.

- Great job.

You don't need

to be slapping people.

Let's make this quick.

The jet's leaving

within the hour.

- I'd like to be on it.

- Yes, ma'am. Ari?

In here. Look.

I hope, for your sakes,

this painting's real.

Keep an eye on them.

Watch my back.

Welcome. Thank you for coming.

Hello, Ari.

I'm the one you spoke to.

Ha ha! Wowee, wowee, wowee.

So much better.

Who are they?

This is Viceroy and Monarch.

They are the ones

who steal the painting.

Yeah. I heard about them.

You guys are gonna

be huge one day.

May I get you something

to drink?

I have soda, chips,

so much in back.

No. I don't need snacks.

I don't even want to know

what you have in the back, OK?

The only thing I'm interested in

is a lost Van Gogh painting.

Right, right. It's...

I can't believe you found it.

Boy Peeing On Sunflowers.

- Cool.

- It's real?

Now let's see if it's real.

Of course it's real.

Of course.

Crazy. There's no painting

on the back.

Come on, come on, come on.

Why is she taking so long?

- I don't like this.

- Shut up.

OK.

Crazy person painted.

You can tell.

Good job.

I never thought that I would

see this painting in person.

Do you know that Van Gogh

once said...

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever.

Do you have my money?

Of course.

Gotcha! Yes.

I can't believe it.

It actually worked.

Right. I'm going in there.

Hold on. We're gonna

wait for them to leave.

But she's right there.

We're not gonna go in there

and start a shootout.

These girls are in high school.

Call it in and have

a team on standby.

I'm actually with her

on that one.

I think that's a good call.

I know. I know. Shut up.

- You can count it if you like.

- I trust you.

You are beautiful woman.

I, heard this painting

is worth millions.

You'll make a lot of money

when you sell it.

I already have a lot of money,

and I'm not gonna sell

this painting, but I wouldn't

expect you to understand that.

You're right. I don't.

We're done here, Ari.

Hey, Ari!

Ari, I got your money!

How many buyers did you line up?

None. None.

Ari, I got your money.

Would you like to see

a magic trick?

- Aah!

- Get down! Come on!

Come on out! Let's go!

Go! Come on!

What the hell

is going on in there?

I told you we should've gone in.

- I'll come with you.

- You stay here.

Thank God.

I don't know why I said that.

I did not mean that.

I'll cover the front.

You take the back.

All right.

Hey... watch yourself.

You, too.

I'm an idiot.

- You girls all right?

- Yeah.

OK. Out on the rink,

I'm gonna cause a distraction.

Go!

- Aah!

- Aah!

Sh*t.

You could've been rich,

you greedy bastard.

I didn't set you up.

He's clown

with gambling problem.

Safari!

Why are you yelling, "Safari"?

That's what the FBI told me

to say if we're in trouble.

The FBI?

Ha ha! It's party time.

I ran back to the hotel

to call the cops,

but the FBI was already there.

They told me I had to come back

and do this.

- What? Safari!

- Safari!

You have what you want.

Just leave.

You better spend all that money

on disappearing.

That's the whole point.

I'm out! We got to go! Come on!

Stupid Red!

FBI. Drop your weapons.

Down on the ground.

Can't shoot us

if we're not armed.

Make us.

You know what?

That actually sounds

really nice.

FBI. Don't move.

FBI? Sh*t, damn, crap.

Aah!

- You set me up!

- Sorry!

- Ooh!

- Go!

Ooh!

Kate, Kate, are you OK?

Did you get shot?

Yeah.

Is that a bulletproof vest?

Yeah. Pretty cool, right?

- My God, you're an idiot.

- I know.

Do you know what happens

to b*tches who snitches?

Ari, Van Gogh f*** yourself.

- Hey, Ari.

- Ooh!

That's it. I'm going in.

Yargh. I'll wait five minutes.

I'll wait five minutes.

Five minutes, then I'll go in.

Ten minutes.

Yeah, right.

Ooh!

Ooh!

Hah!

- Whoa, nice.

- Yeah. Well, you know...

- Where's The Collector?

- She got away.

She can't have gotten far.

Come on.

15 minutes, then I go in.

No way.

That's it. It's go time.

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