Bal-27 Warfare Page #9

MITCHELL and GIDEON get in the JEEP with IRONS. They drive past A LOT OF EXPENSIVE MILITARY ORDNANCE.

JONATHAN IRONS:

What you're seeing is, wait for it, advanced warfare! Do you like how I subtly worked the game's title into my patter there?

JACK MITCHELL:

Subtle as a sledgehammer, sir.

JONATHAN IRONS:

Look at this! Is it a tank on treads or legs? It's both! Drones too, I got those coming out of my ass! As a PMC, we don't hide our true strength, which I am illustrating by putting all our technological might on display. In fact, I asked some of the guys to put on their exosuits and jump around while we're driving past because I f***ing well can.

JACK MITCHELL:

Why am I still getting this introductory corporate spiel when I've presumably been in training for months?

They stop at a TEST LAB where MITCHELL gets HIS ARM CALIBRATED. GARRUS VAKARIAN gives a NOD OF APPROVAL.

GIDEON:

Great, now let's put you through a mandatory training section and then we're going to run the Camp David simulation again.

JACK MITCHELL:

Oh happy day.

EXT. LAGOS - NIGERIA

TWO MONTHS LATER, MITCHELL gets his FIRST ASSIGNMENT.

GIDEON:

We need to pretend for at least a while that Atlas isn't abhorrently evil, so luckily there's a massive anti-Western terrorist organisation known as the KVA at large!

JACK MITCHELL:

What does KVA stand for?

GIDEON:

Nobody bothered to think of that. Anyways, the KVA are led by a former Chechen separatist known as Hades, although we never specify whether he always called himself that or whether he took up the code name we assigned him. He hates technology, but that isn't stopping him from using it a lot! Like when he used a webcast to denounce "the cancer of technology," can you believe it?

JACK MITCHELL:

Even for a red herring, I would've appreciated a little more effort in the writing than this.

GIDEON:

We're in Lagos because the KVA have attacked a technology summit here and taken the Prime Minister hostage. We're going in, but first use this adorable little robot fly to recon the area.

MITCHELL takes control of the ROBOT FLY.

JACK MITCHELL:

Awesome, I am kicking ass with this thing! Look at me smoothly whizzing around! Think I can fit it through this vent cover? F*** yeah I can!

GIDEON:

The game's flying it for you, Mitchell. All you're doing is looking slightly to the left or right.

JACK MITCHELL:

(Releases controls)

Figures.

After the ROBOT FLY identifies the KVA threatening the PRIME MINISTER, MITCHELL, GIDEON and, ugh, JOKER head towards the TARGET BUILDING. IRONS chimes in through a VIDEO LINK.

JONATHAN IRONS:

It's time to show the world what Atlas can do! Ignore any reservations from the local officials and just go in guns blazing already! Why should we listen to the people who pay us? Governments suck!

JACK MITCHELL:

Do these video links really have to take up the entire top corner of my screen?

DEVELOPER SLEDGEHAMMER GAMES

We got Kevin F***ing Spacey for this, okay? We'd put him all over your screen if we could.

They make it to the ROOF OF THE TARGET BUILDING by using MAG GLOVES to SCALE THE WALL, which basically amounts to a FANCY LADDER.

GIDEON:

Mitchell, set a mute charge. It'll cancel out any noise when I cave in the part of the roof we're currently standing on.

JACK MITCHELL:

Won't the massive tremors from doing that still alert the people inside?

GIDEON:

Nah.

After what passes for a SNEAKY ENTRANCE, MITCHELL, GIDEON and JOKER liberate the PRIME MINISTER.

PRIME MINISTER:

I wasn't the target! The KVA were after the technologists from the summit! They made off with them in a box truck!

GIDEON:

The box truck's been spotted on a nearby freeway! Let's go!

PRIME MINISTER:

By the way, I actually have a name. It's Samuel Abidoyo. I was born to a fisherman and --

JACK MITCHELL:

I appreciate the effort, but trust me, nobody cares.

MITCHELL and GIDEON run up to the FREEWAY after FIGHTING KVA TROOPS in the STREETS.

GIDEON:

Huh, the fact that we just shot up half of Lagos apparently hasn't stopped regular rush hour traffic! Mitchell, cross the street!

JACK MITCHELL:

(Dodging traffic)

May I just say, Call of Duty seeking inspiration from f***ing Frogger feels like the weirdest low point.

After a whole bunch of AVOIDING BUSES and then JUMPING ON BUSES and then DANGLING FROM BUSES, MITCHELL and GIDEON catch up to the BOX TRUCK, which they promptly CRASH INTO THE RIVER. They DIVE AFTER IT and manage to SAVE ONE TECHNOLOGIST.

GIDEON:

Good reckless job, everyone! Drinks are on me!

JACK MITCHELL:

Wait, didn't the Prime Minister say that a whole group of technologists was kidnapped from the summit? Where are the others?

GIDEON:

Drinks! Are on! Me!

JOKER:

(Sucks)

INT. ATLAS FACILITY - NEW BAGHDAD

MITCHELL, GIDEON and JOKER are joined by JONATHAN IRONS.

JONATHAN IRONS:

Time for some more fatherly charm! I'm proud of you, gentlemen. Your reckless performance in Lagos has opened up a lot of opportunities for Atlas.

(Piano music swells)

What? Oh yes, my son. He died. So sad.

(Piano music fades out)

As I was saying, Atlas doesn't just provide the means to lay waste to entire cities, we also offer logistics to restore them afterwards. Lagos was a perfect twofer in that regard, since both the KVA and Atlas destroyed pretty much everything in their paths!

JACK MITCHELL:

Speaking of twofers, thank you for giving me both an arm and something to believe in, sir. Truly, I can think of no greater virtue than having two arms and selling yourself off to the highest bidder.

JONATHAN IRONS:

Gentlemen, a toast. Whatever the KVA throws at us, we'll undoubtedly be able to hit back!

The KVA then destroys NUCLEAR REACTORS on FIVE CONTINENTS, which PLUNGES THE ENTIRE WORLD INTO CHAOS.

JONATHAN IRONS:

Except that.

EXT. SHELTER CAMP - DETROIT

FOUR YEARS LATER, MITCHELL and GIDEON are walking through an ATLAS SHELTER CAMP. JOKER is also there, BLEH.

GIDEON:

Welcome to Detroit, Mitchell! Thanks to cozy shelter camps like this one, Atlas has been instrumental in rebuilding the world after the KVA attacks and offering a second chance to anyone willing to submit to its regulations. All very aboveboard, naturally.

JACK MITCHELL:

Say, isn't it about time to introduce a new protagonist? I thought Call of Duty games used multiple viewpoints to show the larger network of an escalating crisis.

GIDEON:

Nope, they wanted to streamline the story so it's just you for the whole ride. Good thing you're such a well-rounded and engaging protagonist!

They exit the CAMP and head into the DESOLATE RUINS OF DETROIT.

JOKER:

Detroit hasn't changed that much, right guys? Am I right? Guys? Up high!

GIDEON:

We've gotten word that Hades' right-hand man is holed up in a nearby hospital. His name is Dr. Pierre Danois and if we capture him alive, he can lead us right to Hades. Isn't it a lucky break that Danois showed up right on our doorstep after four years of fruitlessly trying to track Hades?

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