Bal-Can-Can Page #5

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As for the war thing...

First of all, it's not true!

And second - if it were

true, they provoked us!

Am I right or not?

- Right, always right!

Right, of course! And if I've

killed somebody, I've done

it by accident, and

always for my people!

And when the bastards

come to take me to Hague,

my people will defend me.

I've had this printed in

1 0.000 copies. I'm going

to organize spontaneous

demonstrations. I'll make a

minefield in front of this

house! I'm going to

mine myself if I have to!

I didn't make this fortune

to spend it in jail, clear?

I have nothing to do with

your carpet. You think l

made my millions by

stealing carpets? Look!

Stolen cars - one million.

Saving houses with

pyramid interest rates -

two million. Smuggled

cigarettes - three million.

Forged foreign currencies,

false Schengen visas,

secret transportation of

Arabs into the EU countries...

Homer said that he had

sent our carpet to you.

Homer is full of sh*t!

Know what? I'll kill

him when I see him!

I'm a merchant:
Buy here,

sell there. I didn't even

open Homer's truck,

just shipped it further...

Further, where?

- To Montenegro!

But you never heard

this from me, get it?

But why to Montenegro,

sh*t? - Because Italy is on

the other side, and they

ship the merchandise via

sea to your Rome,

because all sh*t leads

to Rome. That's why!

- Right, right!

And who the f*** are you?

Karanfilov Trendafil.

Krfl... Listen, you Karanfil,

why is that carpet

so damn important?

- There's a granny inside it.

You have a granny

wrapped in the carpet?

Well, it kind of happened...

He, he, you mother f***ers...

And then they call me

a war criminal, he, he...

Eh, ya see?

C'mon, get out of

here... or your granny will

take a tour around the

Colosseum, he, he...

It's OK, they're free to go.

Oh, f***!

Hello? Hello, Ruza...

We're going to the sea.

What do you want me

to bring you? Hello?

Okay, the carpet,

but besides that carpet,

is there anything

else you want?

She really likes seashells.

- Ruza, eh?

Hello?

- Romance.

What?

- Not Milano-mance.

Not Napoli-mance.

Roma-nce!

Hallo? Listen, I'll call

you from the beach, okay?

Great! Like the beaches

of Haliakaloa.

Fog. I've been afraid of the

fog ever since I was a little

boy. I used to believe that

ghosts lived in the fog...

They said that the King

of the ghosts was called

Karaconjool, and his wife

was Kurawella... Childish stuff!

Shhh! - Don't shhh me,

it's all true!

Be quiet!

Ghosts...

With this kiss I swear

there'll be no evil blood

between us. On my

honour, good name, and

faith inside me. Amen.

So, honour, name, faith

inside me, amen...

Your turn, man!

Hell! They don't

know the password!

Please, don't! Don't, for

God's sake... - God's sake!

God is for friends,

a bullet is for enemies.

What are you?

- Macedonians!

Macedonians, eh? I had

this chick over there...

This... Samantha.

Do you know her?

Samantha?

- Samantha, Samantha!

Kill him, he doesn't know!

- Answer clearly and precisely:

Do you work for Teddy

Bear? Yes or no?

Yes!

- No!

Look, we're here for the

carpet... To bargain for...

Oh, you want a bargain?

Why didn't you say so,

you almost got killed...

Lower your guns, reveal

the merchandise...

These are customers!

Here it is:
Pure heroin,

first class cocaine, LSD, ecstasy,

...If you want something

lighter, I have some

smooth hashish, a dead

mouth could smoke it!

Here, see for yourself!

- Thanks, I don't smoke.

C'mon, it's never

too late to start.

Okay, then...

It's good, isn't it?

- It's a bit strong.

But we're here for

something else...

We're looking for a carpet.

- A carpet?

A carpet! From Belgrade,

for the floor...

To be honest, this one

is wrapped up,

but it's still a carpet...

Go ahead, you tell him...

Carpet. Granny.

- That's it, bravo!

There's a granny in it.

- A granny?

A dead granny. - Gra-nny.

Gimme a smoke...

Totally wrapped up granny!

What's the

word for "wrapped"?

How the f*** should

I know, gimme the weed...

Rolled! Rolled in the

middle of the carpet.

Oh, f***! Have you been

putting mushrooms

in our hashish again?

Hello? Teddy Bear,

is that you?

F*** your daddy, Teddy!

Where the f*** are those

f***in' boats? Never mind

that I'm waiting, f*** me,

but the clients in

Rotterdam are waiting!

The carpet! - Hey, Bear,

wait! Do you happen to have

some kind of carpets?

Don't have any?

There aren't any, f*** it!

Hey you, hurry up, a police

patrol could show up...

- Thanks, bro'!

I don't care if they

confiscate it, but the

bastards will resell

it for a lower price, get it?

Savo?

Punisha, get your ass

down to the sea, and wait

for Teddy Bear.

- Savo? Savo! - Eh?

I know where the carpet is.

- Where?

When we were trading with the

Tsutsi clan, during the raid...

...there was a Bosnian there,

buying carpets for

his dusk... I mean,

his mosque.

Wow, Blindy is right!

The one from Chaprljane!

Yeah! - The carpet you're

looking for could be there.

Chepprljaneh?

- Chaprljane!

Japprljane, yeah...

It's up there, in Bosnia,

South of Sarajevo.

Cool, it's Punisha!

It's a patrol!

Chepprljaneh, Chaprljane,

Japprljane...

Run away, brave men!

What the f*** did

you smoke? Napalm?

Slow down, bro'...

- Get in the car! Step on it!

Savo, save yourself!

No way! I'm not leaving it

to the enemy!

Hey, it's the police! - What

police, they're murderers!

Step on it! Step on it!

My goods!

I'm ruined...

Wait, brother! Wait!

Oh my, oh my,

I'm a black cuckoo,

Oh my, oh my,

I'm a black cuckoo,

Oh my, oh my,

I'm a black cuckoo,

Black heart, black eye,

where are you my Luka,

rise from the grave,

stand up alive,

kill our foes,

make them die!

Ah, Luka, my brother...

Killed by those damned

Rizvanbegovichs!

You are the ninth from our

house that they've killed...

But their end is nigh:

The head of Osman

Rizvanbegovich will hang

from our tower,

or my name is not

Mate Prkachin!

Hey, Prkachins!

Give us back our mosque,

before we kill you all!

Jozo, wait! Wait!

- Hey, Prkachins...

Wait until he shows himself.

As soon as you see

his fat head, fire!

Osman! If you don't turn

on the pipe...

...I'll sh*t in the middle

of your mosque!

You'll die of thirst,

you filthy bastards!

Mate... - Eh?

- Look at that!

Who the f*** are they?

They have some foreign

plates, like UN forces.

Maybe they are members

of some foreign mission?

If they are... we're f***ed!

Hello, Ruza, we're in

Bosnia. Ruz... No signal!

It's deserted just like in

"The Law Of The Colt",

when Chaba Hogan

comes to Mexico

to avenge his father Enrique.

Osman, the whore is back!

Faik, take aim!

Don't let her come!

There's a girl.

- Eh?

A girl, I said. It's some girl.

- Oh, a girl?

Eh?

- I said, it's a girl.

Hey, girl! Girl!

- Girl! Hey, girl!

Look at the slut, f***in'

b*tch of a whore... Shoot!

Fire her ass, Faik!

Oh, f*** it! Give me my

eye drops...

F*** you, blind fucks! You

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