Ball & Chain Page #2

- You will have your home.

- Correct.

- You will be together.

- Correct.

Then you will have

children and family

and love will come.

- Don't worry, it'll come.

- Maybe 40 years.

It'll come automatically.

Look at us.

It came after 27 years, but it came.

What is the difference?

Yeah, I know, I know.

That's it.

You see?

So we're sitting

in his living room, right?

And his father is like bald

and I think he drinks too much

because he's got me

pinned in from this side

- and my father comes in-

- You're Iying.

I can't do this.

Then let them know you won't.

I can't do that.

Run away. I've got

some money saved up.

I can drop you off at the bus

station and you could...

I can't do that either. It...

It doesn't work that way.

How does it work, Saima?

They've always

looked out for me,

and I know I'm going

to get out of this,

but I just don't want to...

I don't want to upset them.

I just don't know how.

I don't understand.

It's not funny.

Hey, it happens

to the best of us, Ameet.

What do I do?

I am the last person

you should ask.

Can I get you

anything, Ameet?

Thank you, no.

By the way, congratulations.

Thanks.

So how are you guys

getting along?

Well, it's really weird.

But she's nice.

You'll know soon enough.

Where are you going?

To the hospital.

Good, good. Go.

Saima.

I'm only wanting to give

you a secure future, beta.

Yeah, I know, Papa.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Hey, Josh.

How you doing?

- I'm doing great.

- Great to see you.

- I need to talk to you about something.

- Okay.

I'll catch you a little later.

I'm in a rush.

- Okay, I'll see ya.

- See ya.

What took you so long?

Hey, don't snap at me.

We're not married yet.

If that's what you think it'all about,

then I definitely don't want to be with you.

What is that supposed to mean? It's not

like you have any idea what it's all about.

It's about love, cooperation!

Shh!

Working together

to live a better life.

It's about raising kids and teaching them

whats right and what's wrong

It's about trusting someone

with your innermost secrets.

It's about passion and fire and

emotion that you can just run away with.

That's what I think

a marriage is all about.

Aah! Aah!

Oww! Oh, God!Oh!

- Are you okay?

- Shh!

- I'm fine.

- Shh. Shh.

- I'm fine.

- Shh.

Owie!

Ow!

Feel any better?

I'm okay.

- I'm, I'm... Yeah.

- Huh?

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

I'm... I'm peachy.

So, do you have a plan?

- Huh?

- A plan.

Uh, yeah.

Of course I do.

A toast to the happy couple.

Let us celebrate this union.

Not only a union

between two people,

but a union between

two families.

- Cheers!

- Cheers!

It is my greatest pleasure

to have Saima join our family.

Welcome.

I also would like

to say a few words.

I just want to take this

opportunity to thank you all

for setting me up

with this wonderful woman.

She's smart...

witty...

and, oh, so hot.

What do you think

you're doing?

What? You are my woman.

The hell I am!

How wonderful.

A lovers' quarrel.

Lovers' quarrel.

What? No.

It is not funny.

- It is not funny.

- Yes, it is.

No.

I can't even have Bobby and the

rest of my friends over anymore.

And I can forget about

a bachelor party.

It's over. Totally over.

Oh, no.

By the way, what was the deal

with that glass of wine?

Payback.

Fair enough.

At least I got a kiss first.

Oh, I'd say you

got a bit more than that.

- You liked it.

- Nah.

Did you?

Dream on.

So what do we do now?

About the kiss?

No, about getting out of this, jerk.

I don't know.

Hey. What's up, yo?

Hey, sweetie.

You're looking better there,

tough guy.

Yeah, I got a smaller cast

so I can use crutches now.

What happened to your face?

We'll talk about it later.

- Uh-huh.

- Long story.

Your mole.

I had it removed.

Oh, you look beautiful

Thanks.

- Ready?

- Okay. Ready?

One and go!

Thank you.

That's awesome, guys.

- Isn't he great?

- That was great.

Are you thirsty?

I'm thirsty.

Margarita time!

Oogie boogie boogie!

So, how's married

life treating you?

You know,

it's actually not so bad.

She's kind of okay now that

I'm getting to know her.

Really.

I got to admit, I didn't think

you guys were a good match.

Well, it was weird,

but... he's opening up.

So it's all working ouy.

No, I didn't say that.

She still does a lot of stuff

that really pisses me off,

but I'm assuming

I do the same thing.

That's great.

So it's working out?

Yeah!

It's all right.

- Get out.

- No.

I just never expected you

to say anything like that.

- It's been like a week now.

- I know, I know.

I've seen him naked now.

Hey, baby.

Hey.

How's it going?

Hey, man.

What's your problem?

Nothing.

Just thought the lady might

want to hang with a real man.

Thanks for the offer, but I'm

already with a real man.

- Really?

- Really?

Yeah, really.

Well, when you change your mind,

I'll be over there.

Eww!

Drink?

- What?

- Nothing.

Nothing.

- I didn't ask.

- Oh.

Hey, listen.

What?

I meant to ask you.

Are you seeing someone?

Why?

Just curious.

Well...

- Actually...

- What? You are?

No. Are you?

No, no.

No.

Hey.

You know, my dad used to

tell me stories

about these Indian princes

and how they'd ride to

their weddings on elephants.

I always dreamedl'd go to my

wedding on an elephant.

Like a prince?

Yeah.

You think it's silly?

No.

I think it's romantic.

Hey, guys.

Peanut?

- What's up?

- You work here?

Yeah, part-time.

Monty here is gonna

be a veterinarian.

- Really?

- Uh-huh.

Yeah, he didn't want to, but he

figured it was the only way

to stay close to his girlfriend

in the gorilla exhibit.

Oh, ha ha ha.

This guy, huh?

Yeah, listen, I actually got to

get back to her. She's lonely.

- Cool. Say hi to wifey.

- See you guys at the party.

When are you going

to find me a nice girl?

Ameet.

I was wondering.

if it is possible for us

to broadcast the wedding

on this, um, Internet...

so our relatives in India

may share in our joy.

Sure, we can do that.

No problem.

No problem?

Excellent. Excellent.

You know,

this Internet.

Well, actually,

there is one problem.

What is that?

May I have your

attention, please?

I'd like to take this

opportunity to say a few words.

I just want to tell

all of you

how blessed I am

that Saima and I

will be together.

She really has brought out

the passion in my heart.

Saima has shown me

what it really means

to be true to myself.

As a result,

I would like to announce that,

with Saima's blessing,

I'm quitting my job

to pursue my dream.

I gotta dance!

I gotta dance!

Go, Ameet! Go, Ameet!

Go, Ameet!

What are you doing, son?

This is a total disgrace.

I tell you, this marriage

cannot happen.

My daughter will never marry

some dreamer.

- Papa?

- Don't worry.

We're just leaving

this place. Come on!

Come, come. Don't

even look at him. Come!

Sh*t.

Hey.

Hey.

You were great

last night.

Yeah?

Well, my parents

weren't too pleased.

- I'm sorry.

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