Bamboozled Page #5

28.

SLOAN:

Hello.

DELACROIX:

This is Cheeba.

CHEEBA:

Nice to meet you.

DELACROIX:

And this is Manray.

MANRAY:

How do you do?

DUNWITTY:

Good. I like the names. Very

theatrical.

DELACROIX:

We're all happy to be here and I'm

going to paint a picture for you.

DUNWITTY:

I'm wid it.

DELACROIX:

I've done a lot of soul searching

and once again you are right. In

my previous work it's been all

surface, superficial. I have never

really dug deep. Not anymore. As

Mark Twain fully understood satire

is the way. Race has always been a

hot button in this country's

history and it needs to be pushed

harder. If we are ever to live

side by side in peace and harmony.

It's about promoting racial healing.

DUNWITTY:

Go on. Good so far.

DELACROIX:

I know you're familiar with minstrel

shows. They came about at the turn

of the 19th century. It was a

variety show in which the talent

was in blackface - singing, dancing,

telling jokes, doing skits.

Dunwitty, I ask you when was the

last time there was a good variety

show on the air. Carol Burnett?

HeeHaw?

29.

DUNWITTY:

Word!!!

DELACROIX:

So let's take this great form, this

very American tradition of

entertainment into the 21st century,

into the new millennium.

DUNWITTY:

The name of the show?

DELACROIX:

It is called:
MANTAN - THE NEW

MILLENNIUM MINSTREL SHOW.

DUNWITTY:

I'm lovin' it. You know how I know?

Because I'm getting a boner, my

Johnson is hard, no disrespect my

sister.

Dunwitty starts walking around his office, pumping his first.

DUNWITTY (CONT'D)

I'm feelin' dis'!

DELACROIX:

It will take a lot of courage and

backbone on the part of the CNS to

get this on the air. In fact, I

would understand fully if the

subject matter is deemed too

risque, too controversial.

DUNWITTY:

Don't worry about that, that's my

department. Now who do we cast?

We need a star. Can Whoopi sing or

dance?

DELACROIX:

I don't know if Whoopi is the way

to go.

DUNWITTY:

Are these our two stars, sitting

here in front of my nose? Which

one is Mantan again?

MANTAN:

That's me.

30.

DELACROIX:

And Cheeba is Sleep 'n' Eat.

CLOSE ON:

Cheeba. A look of surprise is on his face. Complete, utter

surprise.

DUNWITTY:

That's a great handle.

DELACROIX:

Mantan and Sleep 'n Eat. Two real

coons. I know we're way out there

but it's satire.

DUNWITTY:

I want you take it there. All the

way to the edge and back.

Sloan looks at Delacroix with concern.

DELACROIX:

Every week we follow the trials and

tribulations of two real coons -

Mantan and Sleep 'n Eat. The Dusky

Duo.

DUNWITTY:

What are there character traits?

DELACROIX:

Ignorant, dullwitted, lazy, and

unlucky.

DUNWITTY:

Exactly!

DELACROIX:

Mantan is an uneducated Negro who

always by some stroke of

unbelievable stupidity makes his

best laid plans go haywire.

DUNWITTY:

And Sleep 'n Eat is his comical

sidekick?

DELACROIX:

Yep, you guessed it.

DUNWITTY:

This could be bigger than "Amos and

Andy."

31.

DELACROIX:

Protest finally forced "Amos and

Andy" off the air. Could stop us

from ever getting on.

DUNWITTY:

Let'em try. I will kill to make

this happen.

Delacroix looks at Sloan.

DELACROIX:

Negroes would be in an uproar.

DUNWITTY:

So what. We would just give the

NAACP a donation that would be the

end of that. No such thing as bad

publicity. So what. Earlier you

said singing and dancing.

DELACROIX:

Mantan right here is a gifted

hoofer. He has educated feet.

DUNWITTY:

Who are the other characters?

DELACROIX:

Do we have characters? How about

Honeycutt, Snowflake, Rastus,

N*gger, Jim, Sambo, Jungle Bunny,

and how could we forget Aunt Jemima.

Dunwitty is dying with laughter. He's the only one.

DUNWITTY:

We gonna hit 'em wid da BOMB DICKEY

on dis' one. What's the setting?

DELACROIX:

In the projects. Like Eddie

Murphy's "The PJ's."

DUNWITTY:

Ya first bad move. Projects been

done. That's one of the problems

now, everything, movies, TV, are

set in the urban jungle, da hood.

That's so tired. Mantan's

Millennium Minstrel Show should be

set on a plantation. In Alabama.

(MORE)

32.

DUNWITTY (CONT'D)

And every week these Alabama porch

monkeys will make us cry, make us

laugh, make us look at our own

humanity. Make us feel good to be

alive.

DELACROIX:

I don't know about that plantation

angle.

DUNWITTY:

What are you talkin' 'bout? It's

the move. Stay wid me now. We're

movin' fast. What does everybody

else think about this?

SLOAN:

We'd get a lot of mail.

She laughs, it's a fake one at that.

SLOAN (CONT'D)

Mr. Dunwitty, there wouldn't be

another show like it.

CHEEBA:

I've always wanted to be on

television.

DUNWITTY:

I like you. Sleep 'n Eat. That's

funny. Mantan, how do you feel

about performing in black face?

MANTAN:

As long as the hoofing is real,

that I can do my thing, I can

blacken up. Let me hit it, beats

and rhythms, express myself.

DUNWITTY:

Show me a little somethin' somethin'.

Mantan starts to put on his new tap shoes.

DUNWITTY (CONT'D)

Delacroix, you dug deep, deeper

than deep.

Mantan is ready.

33.

MANTAN:

I'm gonna give you just a taste.

My tap shoes are brand new. I

haven't trained 'em yet.

He starts to work out.

MANTAN (CONT'D)

Rhythms, rhythms, rhythms. Beats,

beats, beats. No Fred Astaire

here, baby. Just rawness.

Dunwitty clears his desk of everything, just knocks stuff

flying onto the floor. And Mantan taking the cue, jumps up

on his desk and really starts hitting it.

CLOSE ON:

Delacroix, as he watches his creation, it's not a happy face.

CLOSE ON:

Mantan, he's bringing it home. With the final move, he

leaps off the desk into the middle of the office, and FREEZES.

ANGLE ON:

The office.

DUNWITTY:

That'swhatI'mtalkin''bout.

That'swhatI'mtalkin''bout! He's

off the hiz-hook!

DELACROIX:

We think so.

DUNWITTY:

Sleep 'n Eat, what do you do?

CHEEBA:

I play the straight man. I do some

singing and dancing also. I also

manage Mantan.

DUNWITTY:

Oh you do so?

CHEEBA:

I'm the man behind the man behind

the man.

DUNWITTY:

You da man.

34.

CHEEBA:

No, you da man.

DUNWITTY:

I'm gonna run upstairs with this.

If CNS doesn't want to do this,

somebody else will have da balls to

pull the trigger. I want to thank

each and every one of you. This is

great, Delacroix. I'll get back to

you later today.

EXT. STREET - DAY

Cheeba and Mantan are walking in midtown Manhattan. They

both have a pep in their step, money in their pockets, and a

roof over their heads.

CHEEBA:

Life is beginning to look up. It's

all good in da neighborhood.

MANTAN:

You might be right.

CHEEBA:

Why are you smiling so?

His smile is a mile wide.

MANTAN:

I'm not smiling.

CHEEBA:

Naw, not you. It can't be. That

hottie Sloan Hopkins.

MANTAN:

It's that bad, huh? It's all over

my face.

CHEEBA:

No shame in ya game. She got ya

nostrils, ya chnoz is wide open.

Sloan's what we certified ladies'

men call low hanging fruit.

MANTAN:

Certified ladies' man, huh?

CHEEBA:

She's also moorish.

35.

MANTAN:

What's that?

CHEEBA:

Moorish. Ya get a little taste of

dat booty, ya wanna get some MORE.

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