Bamboozled Page #6

MANTAN:

Seconds and thirds, too.

CHEEBA:

Sloan is all 'dat. I try her. I'm

a tri-sexual.

MANTAN:

You'd try anything. I got first

dibs. You get ya own stuff.

CHEEBA:

Naw, just jokin'. That's you.

That's you.

INT. DELACROIX'S APARTMENT - NIGHT

Delacroix sits with Manray and Cheeba in the living room.

DELACROIX:

I want you to start using the name

Mantan and not Manray if you don't

mind.

MANRAY:

Why?

DELACROIX:

You have to start getting into your

character.

CHEEBA:

At the risk of sounding ignorant...

Cheeba turns quickly towards Manray.

CHEEBA (CONT'D)

...don't say a word but who is this

cat Mantan you keep talkin' 'bout?

Delacroix hits the remote button. The TV and VCR are powered.

CLOSE ON:

Television. We see MANTAN MORELAND in some obscure movie.

36.

DELACROIX (O.S.)

This is Mantan Moreland.

CLOSER ON:

Television. Mantan reacts to seeing a ghost.

DELACROIX (O.S.) (CONT'D)

He was a clown, a buffoon but he

was funny.

ANGLE ON:

Living room.

CHEEBA:

That ain't funny.

MANRAY:

DeLa, I don't know 'bout this.

DELACROIX:

Gentlemen, the show, our show will

be satirical. You know what that

is, don't you? Trust me on this one.

CHEEBA:

We might need some mo' money behind

this.

DELACROIX:

That can be done.

MANRAY:

Mantan?

DELACROIX:

Mantan!!

INT. RECORDING STUDIO - NIGHT

THE MAU-MAU's in full effect, bob their heads to the funky

track that blasts from the studio monitors.

ANGLE ON:

Studio. They pass around joints that look like they've been

on steroids and 64 ounce JUGULARS of DA BOMB MALT LIQUOR -

liquid crack, the preferred alcoholic beverage of GHETTO

NEGROES. All the members of the MAU-MAU's are AFRICAN

AMERICAN except one. There is one Caucasian member. He

goes by the name 1/16th BLACK, the engineer tech-whiz kid

computer geek.

37.

1/16TH BLACK

Yo, Big Black, we needs a name for

this joint.

BIG BLACK:

How 'bout...

Big Black takes a long, long drag on a joint, then he

quickly empties a 64 oz. in one swing without missing a

beat, without missing a head nod.

BIG BLACK (CONT'D)

Black Iz Black?

The whole group goes crazy with the title of the song.

DOUBLE BLACK:

That's da bomb.

MO BLACK:

That's gonna give me some

inspiration.

JO BLACK:

Gonna make me get my flow on.

BIG BLACK:

We should call dis da BLACK album.

Everyone starts high-fiving each other.

SMOOTH BLACK:

Yo, check it out. We have never

conformed to none of the white

man's rules and regulations and

later for that ole slave owner

Webster. Therefore I respectfully

submit BIG BLACK that we from now

on, hence forth and whatnot spell

BLACK:
B-L-A-K, not B-L-A-C-K.

HARD BLACK:

I feel dat.

1/16TH BLACK

B-L-A-K. BLAK. The darkest of all

colors, the opposite of white. A

member of an African people. But

check it out, here's where the grey

people try to get slick with their

trickery. Listen to the full

connotations. GLOOMY. DEPRESSING.

EVIL. WICKED. ANGRY. SULLEN.

(MORE)

38.

1/16TH BLACK (CONT'D)

BLAK OUT. BLAK LISTED. BLAK BALL.

Need I say more.

BIG BLACK:

B-L-A-K it is.

INT. HOUSE - NIGHT

A middle-aged African-American woman is working in the

kitchen. Delacroix sits at the kitchen table talking with

her. This is his MOM, ORCHID DOTHAN.

Orchid puts a plate of food in front of her son.

ORCHID:

You must think I'm some kind of fool.

DELACROIX:

It looks delicious.

ORCHID:

You hear me talkin' to you. The

only time you come up here when

something is wrong.

DELACROIX:

C'mon, Mommy, don't start with that

I'm an ungrateful son stuff.

ORCHID:

I said no such thing. All I said

is that something must be wrong.

She sits down with him.

ORCHID (CONT'D)

How's the food?

DELACROIX:

Can't beat it with a hammer. Well,

since you asked, it looks like I

may have a new show, a pilot being

shot.

ORCHID:

That's wonderful. Isn't that what

you always wanted, a show of your

own?

He talks between mouthfuls.

39.

DELACROIX:

It was. It is. But this is a

different kind of show.

ORCHID:

If at first it's not what you want,

just work that much harder, Peerless.

DELACROIX:

Mommy, please don't call me that.

ORCHID:

Son, Peerless is your name. Now

you might be one of these Hollywood

types, change your name and all

that but Peerless Dothan is on your

birth certificate.

DELACROIX:

I know what's on my birth

certificate. You heard from Daddy?

ORCHID:

I guess he's still on the road.

What kind of show is this? Are

they some Negroes in it without

being buffoons?

DELACROIX:

To answer your question, there are

a lot of Negroes in it and what is

your definition of buffoons?

ORCHID:

Peerless, I didn't raise a buffoon.

We have enough of those on

television already.

DELACROIX:

Please let me know when you hear

from Daddy, get a number or

something.

ORCHID:

I will. And good luck with your

show. I hope it's a huge success.

You've worked very hard. You

deserve it.

Delacroix gets up from his seat and hugs his mother.

40.

INT. RESTAURANT - NIGHT

A celebration is going on as Delacroix, Sloan, Cheeba and

Mantan sit at a table.

ANGLE ON:

Table. Cheeba and Mantan are giddy. Sloan looks at

Delacroix who is visibly not happy.

SLOAN:

You okay?

DELACROIX:

I feel like somebody hit me upside

da head with a sledgehammer.

CHEEBA:

DeLa - what's the matter with you.

MANTAN:

You ain't happy about the green

light?

SLOAN:

People show their happiness in a

lot of different ways.

MANTAN:

Well, homeboy, looks like he's at a

funeral.

DELACROIX:

I'm happy for all of us. It's just

we have a great responsibility now.

The pressure is on.

MANTAN:

Pressure? DeLa, you don't know

what the hell real pressure is.

SHEEETT!!! This is lightstuff.

Now when you scramblin' out on the

street in da January winter and the

hawk is talkin' to you with NO

money and NO prospects of money

anytime soon, now that there is

some pressure.

DELACROIX:

I didn't mean it to sound like that.

41.

MANTAN:

That's the way it came out. Let me

ask you one question. Have you

ever been in want, in need your

entire privileged life?

DELACROIX:

Now I'm privileged?! Why? Because

I didn't grow up on food stamps and

welfare? Because I didn't call

home a cardboard box? No, I never

ever went to bed hungry and I'm

proud of it, too. Whoever told you

that living in poverty earns you

somekind of badge of honor flat out

lied to you.

MANTAN:

The point I'm trying to make is

that this is a blessing. It's

going to be fun doing this show and

we should all look at it that way.

Delacroix gets up from the table and leaves.

CHEEBA:

What's wrong with him?

MANTAN:

Must be the pressure.

Cheeba and Mantan laugh, give each other some dap. A highly

attractive PUERTO RICAN female walks over to their table.

This is JESSICA GRILLO.

JESSICA:

Sorry I'm late.

Cheeba and Mantan are in awe.

SLOAN:

Hey, girl. This is my best friend,

Jessica Grillo. I invited her down

to celebrate with us.

CHEEBA:

I'm Cheeba.

MANTAN:

I'm Mantan.

They both rise.

42.

CHEEBA:

Please, have a seat.

MANTAN:

Sloan never told us she had friends

like you.

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