Bamboozled Page #7

CHEEBA:

In fact, we never knew she had any

friends period.

SLOAN:

Later for you.

JESSICA:

She has a lot of friends

CHEEBA:

Male?

JESSICA:

Yes.

MANTAN:

A lot?

SLOAN:

Enough.

Sloan and Jessica laugh at the expense of these guys.

JESSICA:

I propose a toast.

She grabs an empty glass and pours herself some champagne.

JESSICA (CONT'D)

To the success of your show. Good

luck.

Everyone raises their glasses. CLINK!

SLOAN:

Excuse me.

Sloan gets up from the table and takes after Delacroix.

ANGLE ON:

Steps. Sloan catches up with Delacroix at the rest room area.

SLOAN (CONT'D)

Wait here.

43.

She goes to the ladies' cubicle.

CLOSE ON:

Delacroix. He leans against the wall.

ANGLE ON:

Bathroom door. Sloan comes out, grabs him inside.

INT. LADIES' ROOM - NIGHT

Sloan locks the door.

SLOAN:

What is your problem?

DELACROIX:

My problem is MANTAN THE NEW

MILLENIUM MINSTREL SHOW.

SLOAN:

Why did you even come up with that

sh*t if you didn't want it made?

DELACROIX:

It was the principle. Dunwitty had

to be enlightened. I was making a

point. I take pride in my work.

Plus, I already told you I wasn't

gonna walk away from my money.

SLOAN:

F*** da money. Why do through all

this effort? Why? Are you looking

for love from Dunwitty? For

respect? Dunwitty and his likes

don't give a goddamn about you. So

now what are you gonna do?

Someone begins to pound on the bathroom door.

WOMAN'S VOICE (O.S.)

Will you please let me in? I have

to use the toilet.

SLOAN:

You're gonna have to hold it in

because we're not finished yet...

She returns her attention to Delacroix.

SLOAN (CONT'D)

...QUIT then.

44.

DELACROIX:

Even if money wasn't an issue,

Dunwitty will still go ahead

without me and that could be more

dangerous.

SLOAN:

What's the chances of MANTAN being

picked up?

DELACROIX:

I wouldn't bet against it. My

Negroidal ass is stuck between the

proverbial rock and a hard place.

SLOAN:

Like I said, all this for some

twisted, distorted sense of

principal. Dunwitty, he just

tolerates your Negroidal ass, he

doesn't respect it.

The banging starts again.

MANAGER'S VOICE (O.S.)

Please open this bathroom door

immediately. You are being very

inconsiderate.

Sloan unlocks the door and they exit.

ANGLE ON:

Ladies' bathroom. Sloan and Delacroix file past the strange

looks of the manager and FIVE WOMEN waiting to use the

bathroom as they rush in.

INT. DUNWITTY'S OFFICE - MORNING

DELACROIX:

I strongly feel that a Negro should

direct this. This kind of satire

is a high wire act in a gale storm.

One misstep and we're doing "Amos

and Andy." Only a Negro will have

the sensitivity and cultural

awareness to navigate this dangerous

terrain.

DUNWITTY:

To hire someone solely on their

ethnicity, gender or religion is

not right. It's un-American. I

will hire someone who is most

qualified for this particular job.

45.

DELACROIX:

I was hoping to perhaps direct some

episodes myself, if not the pilot

soon after.

DUNWITTY:

I want a hot, young white director.

Maybe the kid, that pheenom who

just did that hot new sexy Madonna

video.

DELACROIX:

You're telling me some white boy is

gonna direct this pilot?

DUNWITTY:

I just want you to meet him. Keep

an open mind.

DELACROIX:

Besides, what does he know about

Negroes?

DUNWITTY:

Probably nuthin', but that's why

it's such a sexy way to go.

Sometimes an outsider has a fresh

new outlook, a different unique

perspective. A black director,

y'know what he's gonna do given the

subject matter? With this kid, the

possibilities are endless.

DELACROIX:

What are his qualifications besides

being a white male and directing a

hot new sexy freaky Madonna video?

DUNWITTY:

If Spielburg can direct "The Color

Purple" and "Amistad", our whiz kid

can direct the Mantan pilot.

DELACROIX:

That's exactly my point. Has he

even directed actors before in

anything?

DUNWITTY:

No!!! Just meet the guy. That's

all I'm asking. Look, I'll even

let you choose your own musical

director. You can have that.

46.

DELACROIX:

In the immortal words of Derrick

Coleman, WHOOOPDEEDAMNDOO!!!

DUNWITTY:

Derrick Coleman, he possessed all

the talent in the world, coulda,

shoulda, been a great ballplayer

but alas D.C. didn't want it bad

enough. Delacroix, do you want it?

Bad enough to kill for it? Do you

want it that much.

Delacroix stares at Dunwitty.

INT. CONFERENCE ROOM - NEXT DAY

Delacroix, followed by Sloan, enters the room full of writers.

CLOSE ON:

Delacroix

He surveys the room.

P.O.V. - DELACROIX

All of the writers are Caucasian - male and female. Every

single last one.

ANGLE ON:

Conference room. Delacroix and Sloan sit down at the head

of the long oval table.

DELACROIX:

Good morning, for those of you who

don't know me, I'm Pierre Delacroix.

I'm running things and this here is

my assistant Sloan Hopkins.

SLOAN:

Hello.

DELACROIX:

I've never worked with any of you

and you've never worked with me so

we'll be starting from scratch.

I'm a fair person, a straight

shooter and I don't hold my tongue.

Everybody up in here should know I

had nothing to do with you being

hired.

(MORE)

47.

DELACROIX (CONT'D)

I would have preferred at least one

other Negro writer. Any questions?

Comments?

MONA raises her hand.

DELACROIX (CONT'D)

Yes, your name?

MONA:

He, I'm Mona.

DELACROIX:

Hi, Mona.

MONA:

I perfectly understand where you're

coming from. As a minority I can

relate to your struggle also. But

I think you should give us all a

chance. We want this pilot to be

successful just as much as you.

Please don't be so quick to judge

us based only on our whiteness.

DELACROIX:

Oh, is that what I'm doing?

BETH jumps in.

BETH:

I think because of our background

we can bring a unique perspective

to Mantan.

SETH pipes in also.

SETH:

A fresh pair of eyes. A new look,

insight, new angle that hasn't been

seen before.

DELACROIX:

I've heard this somewhere before.

David raises his hand.

48.

DAVID:

My name is David. I do think it

would be better to have some

African-American writers but for

whatever reason they are not here.

I don't know if they couldn't find

any people with experience, they

wouldn't work for the pay or

refused to work for the show. I

don't know and nobody in this room

probably knows either. I'm looking

at this as a unique opportunity.

We all should. I'm a damn good

writer and I'm ready to go to work.

Everyone in the room applauds. Sloan looks at Delacroix.

FREEZE FRAME:

DELACROIX (V.O.)

This thing was rigged, the deck was

stacked, the fix was in. Could Don

King be near? Good thing Sloan had

my back. She's my rock. This was

going to be a whole lot of work.

UN-FREEZE FRAME

DELACROIX (CONT'D)

David, I appreciate your comments.

Anybody got an ideas? Everybody

just talk out loud.

MONA:

I've always liked the format of

Rowan and Martin's "LAUGH-IN."

ANNA:

That could be cool.

KIRK:

What about something like "The

Jeffersons?" I grew up in Idaho so

that's how I got my understanding

of black people. Through Sherman

Helmsley, LOUISSEE!!!.

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