Bananas Page #4

Then an outraged United States

will see how bloodthirsty beasts

Esposito and his men are

and we'll get all the support we need.

When can our men

get the rebel uniforms?

The tailor is going on vacation, then

he needs three days for alterations.

- Too long. We'll get another tailor.

- But he does such nice work.

Take a look at this jacket - it was

much too big. He took it in for me.

- He doesn't even charge much.

- No. We get another tailor.

l want it to look like the rebels killed him

not later than tomorrow afternoon.

- Here he comes.

- l don't feel good in these clothes.

Nor do l. He made cuffs in my pants.

What kind of tailoring is this?

He's not our regular man.

Do the best you can.

So long, suckers.

Hey, wake up. Esposito wants to see you.

You all right? Hey, wake up.

Hey, you, wake up.

Esposito wants to see you.

Where... Where am l?

Please. No more Polish women.

We are in the rebel camp with Esposito.

Blood. That should be on the inside.

- Esposito wants to see you. Come on.

- Esposito tried to kill me.

lt was Vargas that tried to kill you,

but in the uniforms of our people.

So your government would blame

Esposito. Come on. Come on.

- l'm Fielding Mellish.

- Vargas has told everyone you are dead.

That we killed you.

lt is in all the newspapers.

Yeah, well, l'm very much alive and

l mean to lodge a formal complaint.

Complaint?

You cannot bash an American citizen

without State Department permission.

Vargas cares very little for

diplomatic procedures, my friend.

- We'll straighten him out.

- l'm afraid you cannot leave here.

He uses you to make

a big propaganda against us.

He doesn't want you to show up

and tell the world the truth.

So, what do you think will happen

if you show your face anyplace but here?

He will cut your throat and bury you.

Cut my throat? Do you realise

what that will do to my gargling?

lt is war, my friend.

- Yeah, but l'm an American citizen.

- Sure. A dead one.

How long before l can

go back to New York?

After we win the revolution, we are free.

- When is the revolution?

- Six months.

Six months? l got a rented car.

- You have a chance to die for freedom.

- Freedom is wonderful.

On the other hand, if you're dead,

it's a drawback to your sex life.

- Are you such a snivelling dog?

- Depends what you mean.

l'm a good-sized snivelling dog.

History sometimes chooses strange ways.

Today you are fearful.

Perhaps one day you will be a tiger.

Don't hold your breath.

lf you ever need a squirrel, call me.

All right, men, let us sing

the song of the rebels.

Rebels are we, born to be free

Just like the fish in the sea

l'll have the grapefruit sections,

two poached eggs,

cinnamon toast and regular coffee.

Perfect.

What the hell is this stuff anyhow?

Lizard.

Uno... dos. Uno... dos.

Uno... dos. Uno... dos.

Uno... dos.

Camouflage can often save yourlife.

lt's essential that you learn the art.

ln the event of snake bite, you make

an incision and suck out the poison.

Remember, you suck out the poison.

What do you do?

Suck out the poison.

- Suck out the poison.

- Suck out the poison.

l cannot suck anybody's leg

who l'm not engaged to.

Snake bite! l got bitten by a snake!

l got bitten by a snake! Help!

Our food has run out.

We must make a raid on the town.

- lt will be very risky.

- You must not go.

- l do not mind the risk.

- Another will lead the raid.

Not our future president.

- What about sending Fielding?

- Me?

The men have a growing respect for you.

- lt is a chance to prove yourself.

- l don't wanna prove anything.

You will fight a hero and,

if necessary, you will die a hero.

Better get some rest, Luis.

You're beginning to talk gibberish.

This short straw will go.

Well, as long as it was fair.

- Yes?

- Coffee, please.

- l also want something to go.

- Yes.

Do you have

any grilled cheese sandwiches?

- Yes, sir.

- Well, let me have a thousand.

And... 300 tuna fish... and 200

bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwiches.

- You want the cheese on rye?

- 490 on rye.

Let me have 1 10 on whole wheat...

and 300 on white bread.

- Fernandez wanted on roll.

- And one on roll.

- And the tuna?

- All the tuna on whole wheat.

All the bacon, lettuce and tomato

we'll have on toast.

Right. And... what to drink?

Let me have 700 regular coffees,

And also coleslaw for 900 men.

Right. You want anything

with these sandwiches?

Mayonnaise on the side.

Right.

- Everything is ready, sir.

- Which one is the roll?

- l have it right here.

- Ok. What about the coleslaw?

lt's coming, sir.

Adelante.

Coleslaw, sir.

- That will be 24,000 pesos, sir.

- Get your money from Vargas.

We're the rebels. Let's go.

Move this out. Come on.

While we carry out a diversionary raid,

you three will kidnap

the British ambassador.

He will be held until Vargas agrees

to free the sympathisers he has jailed.

l will drive.

You two will seize him and you will

inject him with sodium pentathol.

Now, once he is asleep...

there will be no trouble.

Should they attack, our men are ready.

They are too weak to defeat me.

We have nothing to worry about them.

We shall continue our policy

of harassment.

Of course, if they're foolish enough

to try to overthrow,

then l have made a deal

for reinforcements

with the UJA.

You mean the ClA, Excellency.

The UJA is the United Jewish Appeal.

The United Jewish Appeal?

- Any word on where we're heading?

- l hear it's San Marcos.

- For or against the government?

- ClA's not taking any chances.

Some of us are for it and some of us

are gonna be against it.

Viva San Marcos!

Hello, hello? Miami? Fontainbleau Hotel?

Listen, l want to make a reservation

for one single room. Yes.

What are the... What are your prices?

For a single room?

l can't believe it. l'm finally going home.

- Well, you have earned it.

- l'm gonna miss everybody.

- Well, my friends, we have done it.

- You have.

And you. All of us.

At last this country can finally bask

in the sunshine of a true democracia.

Where no man is better than the next

and there's equal opportunity.

- Respect for law and order.

- Right now, l am the law.

But soon we'll hold elections,

let the people choose their leaders

and you can voluntarily step down

and return to your simple farming.

What's the matter? You look glassy-eyed.

These people are peasants.

They are too ignorant to vote.

- But they have common sense.

- l am the ruler of this country.

There will be no elections until l decree it.

You are accused of killing

over a thousand people,

of torturing hundreds

of women and children.

- How did you plead?

- Guilty. With an explanation.

Ready... aim... fire!

That's... 21 . Where's 21?

Ready... aim... fire!

Hear me.

l am your new president.

From this day on,

the official language

of San Marcos will be Swedish.

Silence.

ln addition to that,

all citizens will be required

to change their underwear

every half hour.

Rate this script:2.0 / 1 vote