Band of Robbers Page #4

specific about the men?

Any tattoos or markings

or piercings?

Yeah, they had tattoos

and piercings and stuff.

So they had all three?

Yeah, I think so.

One of them had a tattoo

of the Spanish flag

and a mermaid riding a snake.

So how does a mermaid

ride a snake, exactly?

Sidesaddle.

Sidesaddle,

so it's snake, saddle,

mermaid... chillin'

in the saddle.

Directin', whippin' for speed.

Et cetera.

- Stop.

- Sidesaddle.

So the snake had a saddle on it?

- Yeah, I think so.

- Can you describe the saddle?

It's, uh, brown.

It's brown.

Tom, do you need to be here?

Yeah. No.

Uh, are you mad at me?

Uh, no. I was...

I was exercising.

You were great.

I should have been there for you.

I could have helped you, and I didn't.

No, you're fantastic.

You know, you were on time with a gun.

I just... When hostages are there,

you can't do it different than that.

I will be better

from here on out.

No, Becky,

I think you're terrific,

and I'm glad that we're gonna be partners.

Tom.

Uh, will you take

Mr. Knife home?

If you wanna get a Moped,

I'm not gonna stop you.

- What are you doing?

- This is the meeting place.

Uh, no. I'm not

doing the... thing.

You said we could use the man cave.

You can't just take it back now.

That was a one-time thing.

All right?

Well? It's okay.

It's all right.

Nobody knows anything.

Knows anything about what?

What the hell happened?

Where'd the other cop come from?

Don't worry about her.

Cop? Hold on.

- She was gonna shoot us.

- Am I an accessory to murder?

- I tried to call you.

- Should I have not joined up with you?

- You answer that question. Do you think so?

- I needed a name.

- I'm not being an accessory.

- Enough, enough, enough. Quiet.

Nobody got caught, okay?

We got the treasure, right?

We were waiting for you.

What is that?

Uh...

All right.

Let's do it.

Okay.

All right.

Let's see what we got.

Ready?

Yeah.

Where's the rest?

Where's the gold and sh*t?

I'll bet that's not even $200.

Did you rob him right?

'Cause I said it was in the

safe under the counter.

They went in the safe.

We got everything they had.

This is... Well, it's not bad.

It's not bad.

I would say this is

more than $200.

Look at that.

That's no ordinary coin.

That's not precious metal.

That's pewter.

Sh*t, man. That's not

even a Susan B. Anthony.

All right, Huck, let's...

let's divide it up.

Divide up what, Tom?

The spoils, man.

Everybody gets their share.

Their share of what?

Of Murrel's treasure?

- This isn't Murrel's treasure, Tom.

- 250.

It's pocket change.

Muff led us on.

You gonna divide that up

into four shares?

- Five.

- Five?

- Muff still gets a share.

- I'm out of here.

- Wait. Huck, come on. Huck. Huck.

- Who gives a sh*t?

You know what?

Let's do this later.

I'll hold on to this.

Huck!

Do we kill that lady

he lives with now?

Told you so.

Told you so. Told you so.

Meow!

Meow.

Meow. How did you

climb up here?

Coming into your house.

I didn't want to wake up the old lady.

We have to look at this

for what it really is. Okay?

We had an adventure. Nobody got hurt.

We're all a few bucks richer.

Tom, the situation is,

we put ourselves in danger again.

For nothing.

We got some money.

There's no money!

I have to pay Jorge.

I gotta give him $30.

The driver.

I'm barely gonna

break even on this.

All right. Well, you can be the one

who gets the special coin then.

The woman I live with keeps

telling me that I need to change.

She says if I don't change,

I'm gonna end up in a bad place.

Told her I wished I already

was in the bad place.

She's tryin' to sell me

on heaven.

She's telling me

that all you do all day

is you play a harp,

sit there and sing songs for all eternity.

And I said to her, "If that's the case,

I'd rather sit there

and sweat it out in hell

with my best friend Tom Sawyer

than play the harp and...

and shoot the sh*t with Moses."

- I'm not friends with Moses.

- Exactly, man.

You're not friends with Moses.

But...

I do think she's right.

At least about

the changing part.

I just...

I gotta be through with this.

- Through with what?

- I just got out of prison, Tom.

And today, I came this close

to going back.

For what?

For a couple of bucks?

A couple of bucks

and a rusty coin?

Hmm.

I guess just, uh...

dig a hole

and drop me inside of it.

Throw some gasoline on it, throw some fire

on it, throw a grenade on it, kill me.

I don't wanna live

a life like that.

Just going with the flow,

you know?

Never doing anything,

just hoping you get by okay.

When I die,

I want there to be a parade.

I want the newsman to say,

"We just lost the number-one best guy,

Tom Sawyer, child prodigy,

grown-up genius, American hero."

We look over at the weather girl.

She's crying.

We look over at the sports guy.

He's crying.

He doesn't cry.

He's a sports guy.

But he's crying because Tom Sawyer died,

because he did something with his life.

Lot of people don't care

what happens in life.

They just want ham

on their pizza.

They want to watch teenagers get

voted off of contests on television.

But you and me,

we're not like that.

You and me are the types of guys that

other people tell stories about.

We're the types of people

who are gonna be remembered.

As what?

As heroes.

Heroes.

It's true, man.

I'm just calling it the way I see it.

You got a way about you.

A way of turning things.

Yeah.

A way of turning...

a pewter coin into

buried treasure.

What's the matter?

I've seen this.

Seen what?

This.

I've seen this symbol.

I've seen this. It's, uh... I've seen

this symbol in... in the graveyard.

I saw this symbol on a tombstone.

I've seen it.

What if Muff was wrong?

What if it's not Murrel's

treasure in the pawn shop?

What if it's a clue...

to finding it?

That means

Injun doesn't have it.

Are you kidding me?

No, no.

You genius.

He's still looking for it.

You child prodigy. You American hero.

Injun's looking, same as us.

That's funny.

He was telling a joke from the Bible.

It was a good Bible joke.

Muff!

You messed up, Muff!

Muff!

You messed up bad, Muff.

Muff!

I think it's up this way.

I've never been in an orgy.

What made you think of that?

I think it's just seeing all these people

on their backs, so close together.

- What kind of person likes orgies?

- Pirates, man. Hands down.

No pun intended.

Those guys, if they weren't setting sh*t on fire

or robbing banks, they were having an orgy.

Is that true? Yeah.

That's breakfast for a pirate.

Those guys wake up, have coffee,

then they have an orgy.

See, I don't think I'd like it.

Think it'd be too easy

to get confused.

Yeah, but you gotta realize,

all intimacy is like that.

Huck.

Sh*t.

No, no, no, no...

Ohh!

Huck.

Sh*t.

He beat us to it.

Uh, Tom...

There's gotta be some coins

in here or something.

They were just here.

Sh*t.

What is that?

It's me almost getting murdered.

No, Tom.

What is that?

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