Bang the Drum Slowly Page #3

and I was on another

what kind of book

would you keep on me?

If I was to keep a book

on you, I'd say to myself

"No need to keep

a book on Pearson

'cause Pearson keeps

no book on me"

'cause if I strike

you out on something

like a change-up in here

you don't come back

to the bench, thinking

"That son of a b*tch Wiggen,

he struck me out in here.

So, I'll be on the

lookout the neXt time."

No, no, you come back

to the bench, thinking

"I think I eat a frank"

or, uh, "Gee, I see

a great pair of jugs

up there in the stands."

So, by the time you come up

against me again

you forgot

all about the time before.

So, I'll just throw you

in the same place again

and get past again, probably.

You got to think, Bruce...

think and remember.

I'm going to start keeping

a book.

Yeah, either in

your head or, um...

better still, on

paper for a while.

You already have

terrific power

but power plus brains

is the difference

between nobody

and somebody.

Yeah, well, I always been

pretty much of a nobody, though.

So, I-I guess what I got to do

is I got to develop brains.

Plus confidence.

Power and brains are

nothing without confidence.

Well, you always

had the confidence.

I never had confidence,

Arthur.

No... but I always looked

like I had it, didn't I?

Days when I'm tired,

my curve is hanging

it's bullshit

gets me through.

You got to crowd

in, look fierce.

Works wonders.

And half the pitchers

you're facing

they're just country

boys like you

or else country boys

from the city.

Country boys from the city?

Yeah, they're no

smarter than you.

Yeah, but I never been smart,

that's the thing.

Everybody's smart.

You've been dumb

on one count only...

you let somebody tell

you you were dumb.

Didn't you buy an Arcturis

insurance policy?

Yeah.

Didn't that prove

to be a smart move?

Well, now, as far as that goes,

I can't argue against that.

Is Dutch smart?

Oh, yeah, he certainly is.

Well, if you were so dumb,

why ain't Dutch cut you loose?

Well, he might yet.

Oh, no.

Piney Woods goes down,

you stay up.

Who says so?

I heard it with

my own ears.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Sh*t.

Now that's the best news

I heard so far.

What's wrong with Bruce?

He gave you that

ring, did he?

Mm.

Who says anything is?

He says.

He says what?

He says marry him

and cash in on a big surprise.

He's nutty.

You get that way

sitting on the bench

too many years.

What was he doing

in Minnesota?

He had pneumonia.

Now, what would you go

all the way to Minnesota

with pneumonia for?

Well, whatever it is,

it isn't catching.

You think I'd be his roomie

if it were?

Oh, rooming with him's

one thing...

Ioving's another.

Oh, Katie

honey, why don't you get

yourself married

and raise yourself

some eXemptions?

Why don't you play baseball

for free, Arthur?

Why should a girl go amateur

if she's got the stuff

to be professional?

I don't know why

you can't tell me

what's wrong with him.

Katie, if I knew...

you know I'd tell you.

Ladies and gentlemen

will you please rise

and join us in singing

our national anthem?

O say, can you see

By the dawn's early light

What so proudly we hail'd

At the twilight's

last gleaming?

Whose broad stripes

and bright stars

Thro' the perilous fight

O'er the ramparts we watch'd

Were so gallantly streaming?

And the rocket's red glare

The bombs bursting in air

Gave proof

through the night...

Why's he sending me down?

You'll be back up, Piney.

I ought to be back up now.

Stick to business

and stay off motorcycles.

I love motorcycles.

Look at that old washout.

Don't lose your ticket.

Take care of your banjo.

Guitar!

Say hello for me to everybody

down there in Queen City, okay?

...O'er the land

of the free...

Maybe somebody'll

drop dead up here...

open up a slot for me.

...And the home

of the brave.

Well, anything's possible.

Life is unfair,

I'll tell you that.

Get on there.

Ladies and gentlemen

your attention, please.

Today we honor

a recently elected immortal

Big Benjamin Scotland.

Big Ben, pitching for

the New York Mammoths

struck out

312 batters in the year 1901.

Gun it in, Ben!

Gun it in!

Save this for me.

Batting first for Pittsburgh...

Hey, man, this one's

for the money.

...a left fielder...

Play ball!

What do you say, Henry?

What do you say?

All the way, kid.

All the way this year.

What do you say, Henry?

Come to me, boy.

Come to me, kid.

Swing it through.

Right here, kid.

What do you say?

Wing it strong!

Strike!

So, you wanted that through!

All right!

All right!

Come on, team!

Say, Pearson...

I always wondered...

eXactly how tall are you?

Paul, you always did wonder.

Yeah?

Yeah, I heard

about it.

Yeah?

Yes, I did.

I'm eXactly five feet.

11 inches.

I never knew sh*t piled

that high.

We were a strong club.

We had great pitching

with both hands

and good relief

if FDR Caselli come through.

We had the best outfield

in baseball, bar none

and the best

double-play combination.

In fact, I didn't think there

was anyone who could beat us

eXcept maybe ourselves.

We started ragging each other.

I know you're discussing

my personality

with George in Spanish.

No such a thing, never.

Don't tell me!

Spanish is the same

as Italian.

We're talking about

Mr. Dutch, the manager.

Shut up, man.

I don't know about you, Bruce.

You know

that goddamn tobacco you chew?

You ever hear of Old Yeller?

That's what they're

going to call your teeth.

And you have that, you know,

that hairdo you wear, man.

You ever seen that commercial

with the... what is it?...

Joe Namath or something,

about the greasy kid stuff?

You got to get hip

like them guys, man.

That's part of the, you know

the whole image

of a baseball player.

He has to look good.

Why don't you, like, you know

read some kind

of fashion magazine

something like "Esquire"?

You know, me and the other guys

we read "Esquire" and "Playboy"

and things like that...

that's why we dress well...

but you, man

you're reading farmer magazines

every time I turn around.

Hey, man, hey, hey, hey!

Wait a minute!

Get off me!

Lookit here!

Wait a minute!

Hey, man, hey, hey, hey!

You do something...

Hey! Hey, hey, hey!

Hold it, man.

Come on, come on,

come on, come on.

Hey.

Come on, man, shake it off.

Arthur, Joe, uh, tells me

you've been playing cards

with Pearson

over the winter, huh?

Sure. Why not?

When?

Just before camp begun.

Where?

Down at Bruce's.

Oh...

What were you doing

down there?

You mean besides

playing cards?

Quit stalling.

Why did you go there?

He always wanted me to see

what his folks were like

and all his old

stamping grounds

and, uh... various

beautiful whereabouts.

Oh... oh...

Was the missus with you?

Sure.

You drove down there by car?

Yes indeedy.

Very welly!

Now we got you and your wife

located by car in Georgia.

Let's back up the car

to where you spoke to Goose

on the telephone in Chicago.

You drove to Georgia

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