Barbershop Page #3

Did you?

Nope.

Answered, done deal.

Come on, let me buy you some apple juice.

Case closed.

Well, one of y'all MFs drank it.

I'm tired of y'all, I swear!

Y'all better not touch my stuff no more!

Stop slamming them doors!

I know it wasn't me. I'm lactose intolerant.

- Hey!

- Hey, girl!

Damn!

It's cool.

Man, she messed up

your whole arrangement.

How much them roses cost? $2 or $3?

I'm Crazy Ho ward.

Topping the news, last night someone stole

the new ATM machine...

'Cause people can't raise their kids...

Gabby!

I tell you, the first thing I'll do, Joe.

- Player, you lock your door?

- Yeah, I ain't stupid. Come on.

- Then why's your sister in the room, man?

-I'II tell Mama!

No.

What?

Close the door, dog!

This is just a big video game!

No, it ain't.

It looks like a cash machine to me.

And this ain't no supermarket,

so I'm gonna tell Mama.

No! You can't tell nobody about this,

you hear me?

Why not?

'Cause I said so. I mean, think about it.

- Gabby, who'll take care of you?

- My mama.

- She got you on that.

- What can I do to keep your mouth shut?

- You gotta pay me.

- Pay you?

I'm getting a headache. I just paid you $10!

- I don't care!

- Hey, dog, whup her ass.

You can't touch me.

-L'II whup her ass.

- No, man, don't do that.

- You better give me my cash back later--

- I'll give it back!

Take it, girl. That's all I got.

Go on, get out of the room there, girl!

Go on!

Get on!

That's how you lock a door, dog.

- What?

-It's your fault, man!

Now we've gotta take this someplace else.

-L've gotta think how.

- The same way we stole it, the truck.

I said I'm not messing with my

crazy-ass cousin no more. He too violent.

He comes from a broken home.

He don't even know his mama.

And after last night...

...I ain't messing with that fool no more.

- We wouldn't be doing this if you'd locked--

- I did lock the door.

- Your sister's a demon child.

- Whatever, man.

Your mama don't have real silverware,

so we could get in here?

Whatever.

Oh, come on, man. Let's just take it up.

Hey, Billy, take it down.

Wait a minute...

Take it down.

Come on, player. Come on, big man.

We'll get you this time.

Push it through.

My finger!

This ain't gonna fit.

My hand!

My hand!

- You got it?

- I don't have it.

This is good chicken, too.

You ever had this chicken?

How can you sit there with all that chicken

and not offer us any?

I paid for this.

You give me a quarter,

I might give you a little mashed potatoes.

- How come he can eat out front, while we--

-'Cause Eddie's old, man.

You see that right there?

You know what that means?

That means I've got senroyity.

- S-who?

- Senroyity.

Don't you mean "seniority"?

Whatever.

That's nothing but gray hair poking up out

your follicle. It means nothing.

Don't mean anything?

Let me tell you something, boy.

I was here in '68 when they robbed

and burned down...

...everything here but this barbershop.

I was here in '74,

when desegregation started...

...and they bussing in white kids,

and bussing out little black kids like you.

Yeah, I remember that.

And then I was here in '77...

...when Walter Payton came in here...

...the day after he had rushed

275 yards against Minnesota.

And I lined him up in this chair...

...and I got the picture to prove it.

Eddie, how do we know

that's really Payton?

That's Walter. That's him.

The signature says "Sweetness" right there!

What more do you want?

I don't know, a real picture?

That's "Sweetness" all right.

What did you do? I got a patch in my head!

Patch the little boy's head up.

- I told you to keep still--

- I got a patch on my head!

Shame, you put a patch on the boy's head.

Got him looking like 101 Dalmatians.

You heard of that movie?

Looks like a Dalmatian, that's 102!

Mind your business.

I didn't move my head! It's not my fault!

Man, why do I gotta--

- You look good.

- Take care of the thing.

Quit talking, more cut.

Wait till my mom gets here.

I've got it now.

Jimmy, what are you doing?

Got that little boy looking like a leopard.

He needs little spots all around.

Look at him!

Don't ignore me.

Don't ignore me like that.

Turn their heads...

How's everybody doing?

My bad.

Clean you up or something?

- How you doing, Mr. Wallace?

- How you doing?

- Good to see you, thanks for coming.

- Yes, indeed.

- Wanna go out back and talk?

- Yeah.

All right.

- Eddie.

- N*gger.

Calvin, I'm glad you called me back.

I was beginning to think

you don't like Lester.

Heard you just bought Big Carl's Auto Shop.

Left everything the same.

I was hoping you'd do the same thing here.

I told you, I'm a man of my word.

You know, Calvin...

...if you can't make the payments...

...you're gonna lose the shop...

...and have nothing.

Or, if you sell it to me...

...you make sure that the sign outside

always says "barbershop."

I can live with that.

If you take this money,

that's as good as a contract.

I wouldn't want to have

any misappropriations going on up in here.

Yeah, me neither.

You know,

I made your father the same offer...

...but he turned it down.

But you're a better businessman.

You got vision.

$20,000, that's your buyout.

I'll manage bank payments, as discussed.

And I'll get the paperwork to you next week.

Okay.

You're sure you're gonna keep

the barbershop open, right?

I'm a businessman,

and a barbershop ain't exactly a cash cow.

So I'll turn it into a gentlemen's club.

Wait a minute.

That's not what we discussed, Mr. Wallace.

You told me that the sign outside

would always say "barbershop."

ItWiII.

It's gonna be called "The Barbershop."

I'll keep that same theme going.

The girls dressed like little barbers.

You can come in, and they'll give you a trim.

And you can get some trim.

Hold it, Mr. Wallace.

Mr. Wallace!

You have a nice day.

I just don't understand why someone

would drive into the store like that.

Now, see, I told Sitting Bull

across the street over there...

...not to put no cash machine in his store...

...'cause black people

don't know how to act.

Who're you telling?

That's why black people can't have nothing.

Apparently, neither can Indian folks.

Give me! Move!

Samir is not Indian, okay?

He's Pakistani. He's from Pakistan.

All I know is, he can pack and stand

his ass on that corner all he want to.

But if Geronimo keeps on, somebody's

liable to bust a cap in his ass, right?

- Right, Eddie, he's gonna get it!

- He's gonna pah-yow!

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