Barbershop Page #8

done the shake move. I crept outta there.

Hold on.

- Hello?

- I gotta ask you a question.

- Who this?

- Ricky, fat ass. Guess where I'm at.

Ricky? What's up, dog?

It's the last place I'm gonna be for life.

What you talkin' about?

I'm talking about that

smash-and-grab the other night.

The same night you borrowed my truck.

I been callin' you about the bumper.

Now they got photos of the plate.

They traced it back to me,

a two-time loser.

Ricky, did you just say "two-time loser"?

As in your third strike?

Yeah.

You're going to jail for life. And when

you do get out, I'm gonna be long gone.

Hey, don't drop the soap. C'mon.

What'd he say? What we gonna do?

Crack this piggy bank and get paid.

Hey, man, lemme tell you somethin'.

Just cos you go to some fancy college

don't make you better than me or no one.

I probably won't ever go to school,

but I'm gonna do somethin' with my life.

I'm gonna have me a business.

I'm gonna open up a shop.

And, despite what you may think, I ain't

pretending to be someone I saw on TV.

This is who I am.

Whether you like it or not,

I'm gonna be like this tomorrow.

- All right, man. Let's see it.

- See what?

You're saying this is who you are,

who you're gonna be.

So prove it. Hook me up.

A'ight.

OK.

That's not bad.

Actually, it's pretty good.

I shouldn't have disrespected you

like that in front of everybody.

It's cool, man. I'm kinda glad

you came to your senses.

- Why's that?

- Cos I was runnin' out of insults.

- Thank you.

- You're welcome.

Thanks, baby.

So I guess you can

invest in that studio now.

Look, Calvin, I'll support you.

You know that.

If it's a studio, fine.

You wanna sell used hubcaps or -

I don't know - thong underwear,

whatever, I'm with you. You know that.

Whatever it is you do,

make it mean something to you.

And if it doesn't work out,

you can always just go work for my uncle.

- You know I can't stand your uncle.

- He can't stand you.

But he'll give you a job as a favour to me.

- Where are you going?

- Be right back.

Thanks for bringin' my coat.

I didn't do it.

If I thought you did it,

I wouldn't have never bailed you out.

And I damn sure wouldn't be

out here freezin' my balls off.

Let's go, man.

- Why'd Williams come get you?

- My cousin did this to me.

- Cousin?

- JD did this to me.

Man, that dude is crazy.

Don't worry about him. People like that

always get theirs in the end.

- I'm gonna make sure that he get his.

- Don't go there with that.

I ain't gonna let that fool

roll over me like that.

You've come too far, man.

I ain't even tryin' to have this

conversation. Just drop me off at 79th.

You know what? Look.

- Here. Is that what you want?

- That's what I'm talkin' about. My man.

It dropped out your locker.

Go on and throw your life away.

And throw away

the bail money I put up for you.

You know what, Cal?

Just pull over. Just pull over.

Pull over?

OK. I'm gonna pull over.

- Now you're usin' your head.

- Whatever. Where we goin'?

We're goin' to see Lester Wallace.

Get my barbershop back.

You wait till I throw out my gun

to tell me we're goin' to see Lester?

- We ain't even supposed to be in here.

- I used to work here.

- That's "used to", JD.

- That means I still know what I'm doin'.

Let me look at this.

Now, that's a fire.

- Gimme that.

- It just went out. I can start it again.

These used to be my tools.

This used to be my station.

- You can't even click it right.

- Clap your hands and stomp your feet.

Clap. Stomp 'em.

Look at that.

- Give it to me.

- Billy!

- What's the problem?

- Why you always gotta push somebody?

You want some of this?

- I don't see Lester's car.

- Hold tight.

That look like

my grandmama truck right there.

Wait a minute.

Don't open the door. Is this hers?

Yo, Rick, hold up!

Gotta call some backup for us.

Get us the money, player.

- JD.

- Hey, Rick, no!

Pretty Ricky, what's up?

How d'you like your chicken?

Original or extra crispy? B*tch!

What are you doin' in my shop?

What's goin' on up in here?

What's goin' on?

What are you doin' in my shop?

I don't know what they doin' here,

but you know what I'm here for.

- I want my shop back.

- You got my money?

- No.

- What?

I had to use it to help

my man Ricky get outta jail.

But I promise you that

I'll get you all your money back.

Let me get this right.

You demand to get back a barbershop

that you don't have any more?

You don't have the 40 grand to buy it, and

you don't have the 20 grand I gave you?

Yeah.

- This man is crazy.

- Must be crazy.

I told you I'd get you your money back.

But only 20,000.

If you got a problem with that,

I think Chicago PD might have a problem

with this ATM machine sittin' on your

floor, cos they been lookin' for it all day.

What the hell is this?

Hold tight, Lester.

You got bigger problems than that.

Like them stolen car parts. Somebody

might mistake this place for a chop shop.

- Monk.

- Courage? What you gonna do?

Gonna have to use that on me

cos, like I said, I ain't goin' nowhere.

I got too much to lose. I can't leave

here without it. Simple and plain.

It's been in my family too long.

40 years.

I can't just let you take it,

turn it into some strip club.

What you wanna do?

Chicago PD! Freeze!

Calvin, you all right?

Am I all right?

Yeah. Yeah.

- I'm all right.

- Are you sure?

I'm good. There go

the thugs you want over there.

- Simmons, Fred.

- These dudes are fine.

C'mon, man, we found that!

My dog.

Don't you ever do that sh*t again.

Are you crazy?

- How'd we get out of that?

- He wasn't gonna shoot nobody.

- Peep this out.

- What?

You get a reward if you turn this in.

Did you know that?

Hey, yo, Detective Williams!

Remember who found this!

I ain't gonna be around here that long.

I'm gonna retire and I'm gonna move

to Arizona. It's nice down there.

Black folks oughta boycott it. They won't

recognise Martin Luther King's birthday.

Wait, wait. Fred, do not get this fool

started on Martin Luther King.

Let me tell you.

Martin Luther King was a ho.

He was a freak. He freaked

everything and everybody.

So, come his birthday, I want everybody

to take the day off and get your freak on.

Watch your mouth. We got little kids.

Let me see those report cards.

Excuse me. Excuse me.

Yo! Who drank my goddamn apple juice?

Come on. Jimmy, I know it was you.

What a day, what a day.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes