Barefoot in the Park Page #8
- G
- Year:
- 1967
- 106 min
- 5,187 Views
Mr. Velasco, can I see you
for a minute?
A little dog.
A little doggie.
I don't need anybody
to protect me, sweetheart,
because I am a man,
independent, mature,
self-sufficient
man... ah-choo!
Oh! God bless me.
I've probably got the flu.
Yeah.
Chills, fever, sweaty.
Probably have
a 24-hour virus.
Better tomorrow
at a quarter to 4:00.
Oh!
Thanks. Thanks a lot, pal.
And thus it was written.
Some shall die
by pestilence,
some by the plague,
and one poor schnook
will get it from a hole
in the ceiling.
Ahh!
That's it. That's it.
Goodbye, leaky closet.
Bye, no bathtub.
Bye, hole.
Goodbye, six flights.
Oh!
Goodbye,
Corie.
Oh, no goodbye?
According to law,
I'm entitled to...
Goodbye!
What?
Is it your mother?
Corie, what is it,
an accident?
For Pete's sake,
what's it about?
It's not the way
it looks at all!
Boo-hoo!
Good God.
Corie, you've
got to believe me.
Somebody believe me.
I warned her.
I warned her,
and I was right.
He warned me,
and he was right.
It must have
been the drinks.
I had a great deal
to drink last night...
Martinis, vodka, coffee,
black bean soup, and ouzos.
That's not
my problem.
I'm well
out of it now.
Ahh!
Then after I fell,
Victor picked me up
and carried me inside.
I couldn't walk because
my shoes fell down the sewer.
You don't have
to explain.
He started
to carry me here,
but his hat
fell over his eyes,
and we fell down the stairs
into apartment 3C.
I fell on his foot.
I thought we'd
have a nice evening.
Mr. Gonzales, Mr. Armandariz,
and Mr. Calhoun
carried us both
up there
and put us down
on the rugs.
When I awoke,
Victor was gone,
and I was there
in his bathrobe.
I swear that's
the truth, Corie!
Got a cold.
I've had one
for 20 years.
Ahh!
Gee, that's a nice coat
you got there.
What?
Huh?
Your coat.
I'll make you a trade.
What have you got?
Nothing.
It's a deal!
You must believe me.
I've told you everything.
Then where
are your clothes?
That I can't tell you.
Why not?
You won't believe me.
I will. Mother,
where are your clothes?
I don't know.
I don't believe you.
Didn't I tell you
you wouldn't believe me?
I don't know
where they are.
I've never
been so humiliated.
I kept having
the most horrible nightmares.
I kept dreaming
because I couldn't
make a fist. Ohh!
It's me.
Mr. Velasco,
are you all right?
If a broken toe
is all right, I'm fine.
Hello, Ethel.
Hello, Victor...
Mr. Victor...
Mr. Velasco.
I couldn't get up
the ladder again.
Did you tell Corie
what happened last night?
Why? What happened
last night?
Ooh, last night.
Yes.
Take his arm,
Mother.
I knew I would come to this,
being helped by women.
Oh, dear, does
your foot hurt?
Compared
to my stomach, no.
I think I have
a new ailment
which I shall call
"intestinal volcano. "
Are there little men
in there
running around
in spiked shoes?
And pointy
steel helmets,
and they keep
jumping up and down, up and down.
How long has
this been going on?
Hardly ever,
except after meals.
Welcome to my club.
I think
you have an ulcer.
An ulcer? Me?
From what?
Too many
spicy foods.
You'll have
to get used
to taking
little pink pills.
Oh, I'd rather die,
but first I must get
rid of this headache.
Do you have
about 300 aspirins?
I'm not as young
as I think I am.
Why do you say that?
Isn't it obvious?
Last night, I couldn't
carry you up the stairs.
I can't eat
rich food anymore.
I dye my hair, my...
Well, it's very nice.
Thank you.
So are you.
You know, Ethel, you are
a very unusual woman.
Unusual? In what way?
I took a long look
at you last night.
Do you know
what you are?
What?
A good sport.
Oh, a good sport.
To have gone through
all you did last night...
the trip to Staten Island,
the strange food,
being carried up
to my apartment like that.
If you remember, eh?
Ha ha ha!
Mr. Velasco,
where are my clothes?
Oh, your clothes. Here.
I'm sure I wore
more than that.
It's a cleaning ticket.
They're sending them up
at 4:
00.Oh, they're
at the cleaners.
When did I
take them off?
You didn't. You were
drenched and out cold.
Gonzales took them off.
Mr. Gonzales?
Not Mister... Dr. Gonzales.
Oh, the doctor.
Dr. Gonzales.
I guess that's
all right, then.
How convenient to have
an M.D. In the building.
He is not an M.D.
He's a doctor
of philosophy.
Ha ha ha!
Here. Aspirin.
No, thank you.
I'm feeling
much better now.
I'll take them.
Well, I must go.
Someone is calling
about renting my apartment.
From now on,
I take elevators.
Ooh!
Is there anything
I can do for you?
Yes, there is.
Would you like to have
dinner with me tonight?
Me?
If you don't mind
eating plain food.
I love plain food.
Good. I'll call the New York Hospital
for a reservation.
I'll pick you up at 7:00.
Whatever you say,
Victor.
Now, that's funny.
I was getting
used to Walter.
You know what I
could use right now?
A double ouzo.
What I really could use
is a new outfit.
Mother,
can I talk to you?
Do you realize I slept without
a board last night?
For the first time
in years,
I slept
without a board!
You don't suppose
ouzo is some kind
of Greek miracle drug, do you?
There's something
I've got to talk to you about.
How sweet of you.
I'm not worried about you.
Oh, my hair.
I wonder what I
could do with my hair?
Paul and I are
getting a divorce.
A divorce?
That's right.
Paul and I
are splitting up for good.
You and Paul?
I don't believe you.
You saw him leave
with his suitcase.
What did you think
he had in there?
I know how neat he is.
I thought
maybe the garbage.
Mother, I believe you.
Why don't you believe me?
Because
in my entire life,
I've never seen two people more in love
than you and Paul.
Well, maybe that
was true yesterday,
but it sure
isn't true today.
It couldn't have
been all your fault.
No? Because of me, you were
running around without your clothes
and Paul is out there
in the streets with a cold,
looking for a place
to sleep.
Whose fault is that?
Yours.
You want to know something
that may shock you?
I still love you.
And Paul loves you, too.
And I love him.
I don't know
what he wants.
I don't know how
to make him happy.
What am I going
to do, Mother?
That's the first time
you've asked my advice
since you were 10.
It's really very simple.
All you have to do
is give up a little bit
of you for him.
Don't make
everything a game,
just late at night
in that little room upstairs,
take care of him.
Make him feel...
important.
If you can do that,
you'll have a happy
and wonderful marriage,
like 2 out
of every 10 couples.
You'll be one
of the two, baby.
Now get out of here
and go find him.
I've got a date.
Aunt Harriet isn't going
to believe a word of this.
If you don't hear
from me tomorrow,
I'll be in the Nacional Hotel
in Mexico City,
Room 703.
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"Barefoot in the Park" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 23 Dec. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/barefoot_in_the_park_3614>.
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