Barely Lethal Page #7

All right? It turns out,

they don't get puns, like, at all.

I thought about what was next for me.

It's you.

It's me?

You really thought I'd let all this

inner buffness get away from me?

Look, maybe I'm too late, but according

to my exhaustive research,

it is very important

that I dance with a guy

that I really, really like

at homecoming.

Can I have this dance?

Hell no, you can't.

Quit getting handsy with my date.

- What?

- Did she try to touch you?

How do you even know her?

- One second.

- Yeah, sure.

- Your date?

- Yeah, so paws off.

Hey, just one second.

What are you doing? Don't taunt her.

- We've got a new mission.

- Really? What is it?

For that douche-baguettte

to take her hands off my man!

Okay! Megan.

Okay.

Guys.

Are they fighting over Roger?

When I heard you died in the field,

it was the worst day of my life.

Because I wanted to kill you myself.

What is happening?

- Oh, God, is there gluten in this?

- Gluten? It's all liquid.

So? Soy sauce is liquid,

and it has gluten in it. Hello?

Do you think there's soy sauce

in the fruit punch?

God, how much hormone-injected beef

did your parents feed you as a baby?

- Shut up, Cindy.

- You shut up, Donna.

Totem pole.

Before I kick your ass,

let me just say well done.

- For once, you don't look like a tranny mess.

- Thanks. I really like your dress.

Perfect length to show off

those cottage-cheese thighs.

- You wish you had this bod. P90x, b*tch.

- P90 extra large, b*tch.

I know you're in here.

Megan.

We always knew it would

end up like this...

me with a knife,

you with it in you.

Hardman expected so much out of us.

But Knox opened my eyes

to a better deal.

She takes care

of your precious new family,

and I kill you.

Plus, I got to make out with Cash...

and Roger.

What?

Hot lunch, b*tch!

Hey!

- You good?

- Yeah, you?

I'm really good.

Stabbing people is fun. Are there

gonna be more people for me to stab?

No, put the corn dog down.

We got to get home.

Okay.

Yeah, we're all clear out here.

Where the hell is that girl?

God damn it.

Hey!

You guys really need to do something

about that perimeter security.

- Megan?

- Welcome home, 83.

Looks like someone

didn't get lucky tonight.

Why'd you come back, Knox?

Whole list of reasons, but why

don't we just settle on... revenge?

You know, you can call me Victoria.

Hell, why don't we get real familiar?

Why don't you call me Number One?

After all, that is

what Hardman used to call me.

- You're a Prescott?

- The original Prescott, sweetheart.

We have a lot in common.

Although, I listened to Hardman

when he warned me about...

attachments.

Liz!

I found this little rat

scurrying outside.

Don't want to hurt

your attachments, do we?

Drop it.

- Now.

- Now.

Let them go, all right?

They're not involved.

Of course they are.

This doesn't have to end this way.

You and I actually do

have a lot in common.

- Except I'm not a psycho b*tch.

- Give it some time.

What do you say, 83?

First Prescott?

Never would have guessed.

Excuse me?

Prescott probably just had

lower standards then, yeah?

Taking whatever losers they could get.

Well, this girl's got a mouth on her.

If you wanted a fight, you could have

just said so, little b*tch.

Get your ass up. On your feet.

Did I stutter?

Round three?

You sad little thing.

You think he's coming for you.

Hardman doesn't give a sh*t about you.

You're all alone.

I'm definitely not alone.

- Hey, she's got a ninja.

- Parker, no!

Get down!

What the fu...

You came.

Looks like Agent One is done. Cuff her.

Megan. Come here.

Oh, my God.

Parker, that was so dumb,

but really cool.

- You came back for me.

- Actually, we came for Knox.

Plus, the sweet 16s needed

some real combat experi...

You came back for me.

Okay, okay. So we do have

our attachments, Agent Eighty...

Megan.

There are worse things.

Don't you have a dance to get to?

- You mean I'm free?

- Not really.

An off-the-books agent in deep cover is not

an asset I'm willing to let go right now.

I'll be in touch.

Are you ready to do this?

Like I'd let you go in without backup.

Let's go.

- Have your asses back here by midnight!

- We'll try.

You want to know

a fun fact about ninjas?

- Not really.

- Well, I am one.

Is that right?

and fill out an application.

Say yes. Please, can I go?

- We'll talk.

- Okay, whatever.

- Cute kid.

- Thank you.

Hi, I'm Penny. This is my house.

And I've got something you want, Penny.

But first, I debrief you.

- Come with me.

- I haven't been debriefed in years.

Why don't you

Put up a fight

Feel like a stranger passing by

Staring at my shoes

as I watch you walk away

Oh, I'm boiling up inside

I don't know what to say

I keep telling myself I'm gonna be okay

Staring at my shoes

as I watch you walk away

Oh, I'm boiling up inside

I don't know what to say

Obviously you're not telling me

something about tonight.

Did you... lose your virginity?

Did you?

Okay, you dirty dog.

All right, all right.

Well, it's only appropriate that I tell you

the story about when I lost my virginity.

She was our babysitter.

She was a lot older than me.

Very gentle, gentle lover.

She was about 65.

Dad, stop the car.

- Hold on. Hold on.

- Hey, where are you going?

- Megan?

- Roger!

I know you're confused,

and I've got a lot to explain.

But for the first time in my life,

I know exactly who I am and what I want,

and I'm not afraid to say it.

Roger, I think you are...

amazing.

That's pretty corny.

Roger!

Where do you think you're going?

Get back in the car.

I'm a good kid, Dad.

You got to let me go.

Does she even have a helicopter license?

Don't wait up.

Roger!

- Hi.

- Hey.

Adolescence is a confusing time.

It's a wonder any of us

make it out alive.

Seatbelts, Roger!

Seatbelts and condoms!

If that comes up. If it doesn't

come up, don't bring it up.

In the end, Hardman was right.

Attachments are dangerous.

They mean you care about something.

But the people we care about

are what make life worth living.

And hey...

what's wrong with living dangerously?

Never got love from a government man

Heading downstream

till the levee gives in

What can I do to get the money?

We ain't got the money

We ain't gettin' out

Heading downstream

till the levee gives in

And my dreams are wearin' thin

All I need's relief...

Find out where she's applying

to college.

Safety schools too.

Look at me

I just can't believe

what they've done to me

We could never get free

I just wanna be

Look at me

I just can't believe

what they've done to me

We could never get free

I just wanna be

I just wanna dream

All of my life been wading

in water so deep

Now we got to swim

Wonder will it ever end

How long, how long till we have a friend

Comin' down, feelin' like a battery hen

Waves won't break till the tide comes in

What will I do in the sunrise

What will I do without my dreams

Look at me

I just can't believe

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