Barney Thomson Page #2
- UNRATED
- Year:
- 2015
- 96 min
- 108 Views
"Shakin' Stevens"
was number one.
I've not had
my kick at the ball.
All I've got is that job.
The bastards are trying
to take it away from me.
You want them to like you'?
Like me'?
I want to f***in' kill them.
Pew!
He's f***ing
laughing at us, 127.
Yes, sir.
The public
for this, you realize.
Yes, sir.
Right.
I'm replacing you as lead.
What'?
And you, 529.
No, sir, it's 20 past 10, sir.
Is it'?
529's your f***ing number!
You're off the case as well.
You'll be taking orders
from 119 from now on.
Thank you, sir.
Just take me...
uh, take me
through your plans, uh, 119.
He'll strike again, sir,
so we'll find out
who's recently disappeared,
who last saw them.
I'll put Holdall here
out in the field,
investigating
Don't you think
we should be looking
for the rest of him'?
119's in charge now, 127.
Is that plate from the canteen?
Ah, f*** me.
Tell forensics to get
their own f***ing plates!
I'm not eating off a plate
that's served up a human arse.
Right. Off you go.
Oh, ho, ho! Listen to this.
"Angelina Jolie seeks Brad Pitt
for Weekday
dog track evenings."
Give me that.
"Sleek hatchback, low mileage,
"big headlights,
"needing a right good service.
Hamilton area."
Now, they're not
shy, are they'?
- You want a pen'?
- F*** off.
"Mature woman
seeks adventurous man
for nights of
unbridled passion."
You'd have to
be desperate, eh'?
Nah, nah.
That's what we call a "GILF."
What's that?
It's a "Granny I'd Like To..."
Fucks sake, Chris. Come on.
Right, McAllister this weekend
at Bellahoustom-
What's his chances?
Good boy, but...
I wanted to be
The Man With No Name...
you know.
The guy who rides into town.
Saves the townsfolk.
And disappears
in the dead of night.
Shrouded in mystery.
They'd talk about this legend
for years to come...
but no...
I was one of
the pissy. Wee townsfolk.
W here every f***er
knows your name.
into the lane under my heel.
Well, careful
what you wish for.
Barney.
Barney!
A wee word?
I'm not really sure
how to say this.
A pal of my dad's
has moved into the area.
He wants to give him a job.
Eh'?
Cannae have ye
falling asleep
in the shop, Barney.
And we can't have
any more outbursts
like ye had yesterday.
- Oh, no, that was a one-off.
- That was not a one-off.
You have regular outbursts.
You cannot talk
to customers like that.
It's not my fault you look like
a f***ing cartoon bear,
is it'? Up. Oot.
You can work for another month,
if you like.
Aw, Jesus. Wullie!
We'll understand
if you want
to leave now, of course,
and We'll keep pay your wage
for the rest of the month.
You don't need to make
a decision now, but...
I'll stay for the month.
- Eh?
- I'll stay for the month.
But we would be paying
your wage for the month,
Whether you're here or no.
Well, I'll be here.
Great.
I'll let my da know.
Jesus Christ.
I'll get a mop.
No, I'll get a mop. I'll get...
Wullie, Wullie... look, please.
Don't do this.
It's not my decision.
Ah, but you see, this place,
it's all I know.
Come on, Wullie.
Be a pal.
I've got nothing else on.
Aw, Barney.
Still, it's not my decision.
It's up to my da.
No, no. That's rubbish!
It is your decision.
You and Chris.
You want me out the door.
Think I'm a f***ing idiot?
I'll get the mop.
No, Wullie, Wullie, please.
- Oh, I'm so sorry. I didn't...
- I'll get the mop.
I-I-I'll get the mop.
J-J-J-Just... listen.
I-I'll be so quiet.
You'll no hear
another peep out of me.
You're embarrassing
yourself now, Barney.
Have a bit of self-respect.
- I'll be so quiet...
- Let me get the mop!
No, please.
I'll be a model barber!
Oh...
F***ing hell!
Shite...
Hello. Henderson's.
Is that lazy bastard
husband of mine there?
Uh, no. No, he's not.
Where is he?
Well, he said that he...
he was leavin' early to...
go do a bit of... shopping.
Well. He's never been
to the shops in his fife.
That's what he said.
If he's late back,
I'll kill him.
That Won't be necessary.
Well. Cheerio.
Good bye.
F***!
Sh*t.
F***ing hell!
What's that you've got there?
What'?
What's that you've got there?
- Eh?
- What's that?
- How ye doing, Charlie?
- What's that'?
- Nothing.
- What's that?
Nothing!
I'm getting chips.
Good! Cheerio.
It's full of hair chemicals
and stuff like that.
Okay'
Cheerio, then.
Get ye f***ed, Charlie!
I'm only trying
to help ye, Barney.
All right, all right, look.
Just...
You can help, but just...
be quick, will ye'?
I tell you what...
I really appreciate it, Charlie.
Just, uh...
you swing by the shop sometime,
and I'll give ye a haircut
on the house, eh'?
- Okay.
- Okay?
Uh-huh.
Away and enjoy your chips.
- Right, then.
- Okay.
Cheerio.
Where is it,
where is it, where is it'?
Where is it, where is it'?
W-What was
the name of that loch
you, me, and my da Went to'?
The forest on one side,
r-really hard to get to.
What loch?
That one,
the one with all the wee boats.
Loch Lubnaig.
Loch Lubnaig! That's it.
Lubnaig, Lubnaig.
Why the com motion?
Uh, n-nothin'.
Just, uh...
I saw a painting in a...
in a charity shop
and I just Wondered if it was...
it was that.
How do you manage to pack
so much excitement
into one life'?
Hmm?
Seeing as you're here,
you can give me
a lift to the Barras.
It's my bingo night.
No, I'm sorry, Mother, I can't.
I'm... I'm actually quite busy.
You maybe didn't hear me.
It's my bingo night
at the Barras!
Right. I'll see you later.
I'll be needing a lift home.
How long are ye gonnae be'?
Couple of hours.
Oh!
I cannae sit out here
for that length of time.
I wonder. Should I go
or should I stay.
The band had
only one more song to play.
And then I saw you
out the corner of my eye.
A little girl alone and so shy.
I had the last waltz.
With you.
Mum, what're you doing?
I told Lizzie and Theresa
you'd give 'em a lift home.
I've got something on!
Our carriage awaits!
Oh, this is awfully
good of you, son.
On you go!
La. La. La. La
La. La. La. La. la.
La. La. La. La
La. La. La. La. la.
I had the last waltz.
With you.
Two lonely people.
Together.
I fell in love.
With you.
The last waltz
Should last forever.
La. La. La. La. La. la.
La, la, la, la
La, la, la, la, la...
- Okay, night-night.
- Bye.
- Thanks very much, Barney.
- Watch yourselves.
Don't do anything
I Wouldn't do.
See ya, Cemolina.
It's Wullie.
I've killed Wullie.
I saw that.
Mum...
it was an accident.
I had a pair of scissors
in my hand,
and-and he slipped and fell.
Then you phone the police.
You don't Wrap him up
like a stair carpet!
No, I couldnae
phone the police.
He just sacked me.
It's...
They'd say I had a motive.
What'd he sack you for'?
'Cause I've no got any chat.
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"Barney Thomson" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 23 Nov. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/barney_thomson_3622>.
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