Barry Munday Page #5

in the morning.

I know, I just...

Can I?

Fine, but I am not

sharing my bed with you.

I know.

I'll put some sheets

on the couch.

Come on along,

it's like a dream

And you can fall

into the feeling

That we never die...

All the while,

this baby

is gonna come through

the vagina,

big and strong.

Comin' through.

You're gonna find,

there's a little piece of mind...

Yeah, of course.

No, we've got it worked out.

Look, I wouldn't sell it if I didn't believe it

and that's the truth.

Yeah, we're gonna take care of Alex,

Andy and Sam.

Now if you ever

want to run

From everything

that you have become

Call on me,

I will be waiting

Run to my room...

Hey, Ginger, you know what?

I think we're going

to have a girl.

Great.

Oh, by the way,

I forgot,

Jennifer invited you

to her graduation.

This is when

the baby's due.

It's the week

of the due date.

The baby could come

at any minute.

I feel like it's gonna

kick a hole in my side

and crawl out

right now.

Can I feel it?

Are you scared?

Do you want me to go

to your sister's graduation?

If you want.

That's not

what I'm asking.

Let's not pretend

these people like me.

Are you afraid

of my family?

Yes, yes I am.

Each one of them...

individually,

and as a group.

Fine.

Yes, I would like you

to accompany me

to my sister's

graduation.

I needed you

To set me free

So I could learn

I needed freedom

to return...

I've been thinking a lot

about the name Cornelia.

Yes?

Well, you just have

to be careful with names,

um, basically, 'cause

children are cruel.

Yes.

And you got to know

they're gonna shorten the name.

They'll call her Corny.

She's a girl... that's

what she'll be called.

Do you like Corny?

Yes I do.

You know what the boys

in high school

are gonna call her?

What?

Horny Corny.

That's what boys

like you will call her, not everybody.

Maybe, but that'll

be her name.

Look, I'm not gonna mold my life,

or my child's life

around the actions of perverts

and degenerates.

I'm not afraid of the idiocy

of "Horny Corny"

because it rhymes,

or because it's dirty,

or because

people are too lazy

to pronounce

her real name, Cornelia.

And by the way,

the next time

you touch my tit

without permission

I will cut you

while you're sleeping.

Hello!

Oh, you must be Carol.

It's so nice to finally meet you.

Come in.

Hi.

Nice to meet you.

Barry's always saying

what a nice family Ginger has.

- How sweet.

- Mrs. Munday.

- So nice to meet you at last.

- Oh, my pleasure.

- And it's Ms.

- Oh, Ms.

- Hi!

- Pumpkin farm!

And this is our youngest,

Jenny.

This is Carol,

Barry's mother.

Hi, Jennifer.

Congratulations.

- Thanks!

- Hey, Jennifer.

Nice to

see you again.

Well, nice to see you

as well, Barry. Nice suit.

Thank you.

Hi, Barry.

Hi, Ms. Munday.

Hi, sweetie.

- Hey.

- Hi. Hello.

Well, shall we go through

and have a little lunch?

- Yes.

- Ms. Munday, may I?

You look nice.

You're wearing a suit.

- You want another piece?

Not yet.

- It's kind of gross.

- It's going good.

They can hear you.

- What?

- They can hear you.

- Father Walsh?

- Mm-hmm?

Did you hear

about Barry's accident?

Um, no, I don't think

I have.

Jennifer, I don't think

this is the time.

It's okay,

right, Barry?

See, Barry was

at a matinee,

and some whacko

just attacked him.

- Attacked him?

- It was awful.

Okay, Jen,

I don't think

we want to bring up

personal stuff,

now do we?

- Jen.

- Oh, phtt-tt!

Anyway, somebody just

comes into the theater

and... right

into his...

...you know,

his balls.

And they never caught

the guy, but...

personally,

I think Barry was

makin' time with

another fella's lady.

Okay, Jen.

I'd stop now or you-know-what

will be revealed.

And you don't

want that, do ya?

Or scammin' on some little girl

and Daddy caught him.

Pervert.

All right, check it!

on a Saturday night,

I saw Jennifer

as the featured dancer

at a nudie club

called the Beaver Tree.

Ha!

Sorry to be the one

to tell you all.

I know it's

embarrassing for you.

It was embarrassing for me

to see her on stage.

Believe me.

- Barry...

- Father Walsh.

- Barry...

- She just... she pushed me.

I couldn't help it.

Shame on you.

- Barry...

- It was Whitesnake.

- Barry...

- Here I go again on my own...

Barry,

last Saturday night,

Mr. And Mrs. Farley

and their two daughters

were at my house

to discuss Ginger's

pregnancy.

Till at least 10:00.

Here I go...

Sweet little p*ssy, baby!

For the record, sir,

I had never been

to the Beaver Tree

This cake's

delicious.

Thank you.

- Oh my God!

- What?!

My water broke.

- Are you serious?

- Are you sure?

- Call Janice.

- Who's Janice?

- The midwife, you idiot!

- The midwife, Barry!

Watch your step!

Watch your step!

- Barry, there's no room for you!

- You're yelling in my head!

- What?

- No room!

You and your mother

take Father Walsh.

Son, son, this way!

Get the camera.

Get the camera, hon.

Here's a good shot

right here. Beautiful.

Talk to your baby,

Ginger.

- Sandwich? Popcorn?

- I'm okay.

Okay, Daddy, why don't you

come and be a part of this?

- Uh...

- Talk to your baby, Barry.

- Okay. Um, hi baby.

Uh, I'm Barry Munday.

- I wish you all the best...

today comin' out

of your mom's vagina.

Here we go!

Time for the baby!

Breathe, breathe.

Come on, come on!

You can

do it, baby!

- Why don't you step into the tub?

- I'm wearing a suit.

Well, you can strip down

to your undies if you wish.

I'm not wearing

any underwear.

- Oh, Barry.

- Barry, will you just get in the G-D tub!

Yes sir.

Oh! Agh-hh!

Yep, no recollection

of that place whatsoever.

Oh, wait,

I forgot something!

- Push.

Okay, mirror. Carol,

could you give me the mirror?

Great. Let me see

if that's right.

What the hell

is this?

It's whales

in the ocean.

Uh, it's supposed

to be soothing.

- Right?

What?

What are you saying?!

- I can't hear you!

- Just reach down. Just reach down.

Turn off

the f***ing whales!

- Oh, I got it!

- Happy thoughts.

- That's it.

- You can do it, Ginger!

- I can't do any more!

Reach down,

reach down.

When I was young

and pushed around

And beaten up

and beaten down

Who'd I run to, Mama?

Tell me, who?

And as I grew

to be a man

And all the world

held such lan

I did what I thought

I just had to do

It was you, Mama, you,

it was you all along

It was you I ran away from,

I was wrong

Now reach down...

If I could,

I'd change my life

I swear to God

I'd cut it out with a knife...

Oh, God!

Oh, God!

Oh, God! No way!

Say hello to your little girl.

It's a girl.

Just follow the baby.

You can never go wrong.

Oh, you were right.

You were right.

She's beautiful.

- Wanna hold her?

- Yeah.

I got her. I got her.

I got her.

Okay.

Christmas.

How's she doin'?

I just came in here to...

Ginger was watchin' some videos.

I just wanted

to turn it off.

Thanks for

stayin' the night.

I know you had

your graduation.

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