Barry Munday Page #6

Oh, it's just

a sheet of paper.

Yeah, well, Ginger appreciates it,

so congratulations.

You know, we've never had

much time alone together, Barry.

- Why are you doing this?

- Does it still work?

- What are you doing?

- Relax, I'm a professional, remember?

I knew it. Stop!

I knew it.

That was you

at the Beaver Tree.

What is it? Is it that

you just don't like me?

- Or are you jealous?

- No, please.

Of you?

I don't know.

Ginger?

Is it really

that boring being

everybody's favorite

all the time?

What are you two doing up?

Look who I found

in here watching b*obs.

Pervert.

Ugh.

I'm gonna

go to bed.

Okay, get a little...

a little drink of water.

Vroom, vroom-vroom.

Sweet girl.

Right there.

It's broken.

I see.

Oh, well.

You a daddy?

Yeah.

Fantastic.

Let's see

the little bugger.

Okay.

Now look at that...

half-Asian.

Uh, excuse me?

Your baby.

Oriental, right?

Uh, I don't think so.

Been in this park

over 30 years,

seen every baby

from red to blue to Tyler too.

Eyes, hue of skin...

nothing like

Japanese skin.

Damn soft, too.

Velvet.

Mm-mm-mm...

Hey, man,

can I help you?

Sorry.

What?

Sorry.

Why are you sorry?

- Sorry.

- Why are you s...

Mom, do you think

Cornelia looks like me?

Yes, I do.

Does she look

like my father?

No.

Neither do you.

I thought he was

an ugly man.

Why are you asking?

I don't know.

Where'd he come from?

Your father came from

a place very far away,

and he should've

stayed there.

He left behind the only part

of him worth knowing... you.

Does my baby

look Asian to you?

This isn't about

Cornelia, is it?

- This is about your testes.

- What?

It's natural

after a loss like this

to question,

"Is it real?

Did I actually make

this little creature?"

Questions are healthy.

I think that's the main reason

you had the paternity test.

Barry, God has

his ways, kiddo.

She is beautiful,

isn't she?

She's a Munday.

Cornelia...

something-Munday.

Just Cornelia.

No middle name?

No middle name, no last name.

Just Cornelia.

You have to have a last name.

That's illegal, isn't it?

What about Jesus,

Madonna, or Calvin?

Who's Calvin?

I don't know.

- What are you doing?

- Nothin'.

Fine.

Listen, Cornelia's sleeping,

but you're gonna have to feed her soon.

Where are your glasses?

I got contacts

a month ago.

You haven't noticed?

Would you notice

if I had no head?

Probably.

See those guy's plants across the hall?

They're pretty sweet.

My mom's number

is on the fridge.

Are you sure

you can handle this?

Oh yeah.

We'll be fine.

I got beer.

Are you okay?

I'm awesome.

Ugh.

Br-rr-rr.

Br-rr-rr.

- Hello?

- Barry, it's Mom. Could you come over?

Uh, now?

Just for an hour or so.

This damn disposal.

Uh, I'm watching

Cornelia, Mom.

Bring her. She should be visiting

her grandmother, you know.

- Hello.

- Barry, hi.

I'm Dr. Preston Edwards.

Please, don't be alarmed.

Your mother's concerned.

She loves you very much.

I thought

you had a bad disposal.

Barry, listen

to Dr. Edwards.

Oh!

Adorable.

Barry, our group

provides support

to help us understand

what has happened to us.

Boys? Each of the men

in this room has suffered

some kind of genital

mutilation or deformity.

You're not alone.

Hi, I'm Jerry Sherman.

When I was

Now the end pokes out

like a little snappy turtle.

And yes,

I do urinate sitting down.

But you know what?

My testicles are intact.

So, I'd say

my glass is half full.

Well done, Jerry.

My name's

Kyle Pennington.

I'm 37. I have a master's

degree in education.

My penis

is 16 inches long.

It's thin like a rope,

and my testicles

are the size of peanuts.

I suffer from a rare

genetic disorder

called Glassroth Syndrome.

I'm the founder of the group.

Thank you, Kyle.

If you're laughing

out of nervousness

or embarrassment,

that's understandable.

But there is nothing funny

about Kyle's condition.

I'm sorry, Kyle.

Ahem...

My name is Maury...

Maury Knox.

Maury is a new member.

He prefers to speak

with his back to the group.

I, um... actually, I have

no genitalia at all.

My private spot is

a smooth hairless patch.

And I pee out of my a-anus.

This is my

second meeting.

Thank you, Maury.

Barry, I know this

must seem strange to you.

No.

No, it's totally...

it's cool.

Came over with my baby

to my mom's house

to help fix her disposal,

and I find five dudes

sitting in my living room

waiting to tell me stories

about their d*cks.

It's perfectly normal.

Okay.

Can I ask you a question,

Dr. Edwards?

You ever find people

who figure out their own problems

without the help

of a support group?

Well, I have

patients who have

believed that

they have self-healed,

only to have their problems resurface

in acts of violence,

- estrangements, sexual confusion...

- Served it, sister.

Okay. Well hey,

I'm not violent,

estranged or sexually confused,

so maybe I'm cured.

Ha, no one is

ever really cured.

That's nice, Doctor,

but my balls are gone.

And I don't think

your group discussions

will help

bring them back.

I don't even know

if I want the damn things.

The only good they ever did was

help make Cornelia

and I don't even know

if they can honestly take credit for that.

Thank you.

Mini-breakthrough.

You really should

join our group.

It's Thursday nights

at 7:
00.

Jerry, are you

on refreshments this week?

- I'm makin' puff pastry, Doc.

- Good times.

Tell you what, why don't I just call you

when I'm feeling violent,

estranged, or...

Sexually

confused?

- Barry?

- Yes, Preston.

All right. Fellas?

Bye.

Oh, here's the one

I was looking for.

This is Christmas.

You were four, I think.

Ah yes.

I was fat.

Look it, look it,

look it, look it.

Oh look.

Yeah, see, she's got your eyes.

She's got your nose.

She's got your toes.

Look!

Who has

anyone's toes?

Oh, you were

such a good baby.

You were always smiling

about something.

Look at this.

I never could figure out

what was so funny,

but you were always

smilin' about something or other.

You know, it never

bothered you that we were poor.

It never bothered you

that we were alone.

I worried about you

so much

I really don't think you missed him

until you were older.

Hmm.

You know,

until you...

needed to ask questions

about...

you know,

being a man.

There wasn't

anybody there to ask.

Life goes in circles,

you know.

Ginger's

a good mother, Barry.

I want you to take care

of that baby.

Did he know

you were pregnant when he left?

Barry, if I tell you

he knew,

you'll make

yourself crazy

wondering why he left.

If I say he didn't...

I just want

to know.

I just want to know

who I am.

Yeah.

Leaving behind a sperm

doesn't make you a father.

Or a man...

any more than one brick

makes a house.

I know that.

You've built

your own house now.

It's there,

the circles.

Before

you had Cornelia,

did you know there was love like this

in the whole wide world?

Mm-um.

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