Batman: Assault on Arkham Page #3

Start following orders, all of you!

Why don't you just

calm down, puddin'?

Don't call me puddin'!

Property room's down here.

Locked!

Not for long.

Now that's just pathetic!

The warden uses his birthday backwards

for practically all of his passwords.

How do you know that?

I used to work here.

Didn't I mention that!

Come on, as what?

As a psychiatrist, silly.

And, pal, anyone who

throws boomerangs,

has some real issues letting go.

Voila!

Where do we even begin?

Everyone take a section.

Just start looking!

Bloody hell!

My acid playing cards!

I knew I left them here.

Here's that Batman costume

Mr. J used for the train heist.

Oh!

I've been looking

all over for this.

Here's where it went.

Bingo!

Firefly. Killer moth.

Maxie Zeus.

Never heard of any of these tools.

Mr. freeze's gun!

Score!

Thanks.

It's Batman!

Uh-oh!

Oh.

Ah!

Aah!

No way!

The spoils of war.

Black spider just

kicked the bat's ass?

Mate, I'm a little choked up.

Got the thumb drive.

What?

What the hell?

We've been played.

Where's frosty?

Frost? Damn it!

Frost!

Right. Easy.

I knew waller would send someone.

I'm too clever for

her to let me live.

Nothing gets past you, genius.

I'll make this fast.

Do you even know why

you're assassinating me?

The wall says you screwed her and

to make an example out of you.

And that satiated your curiosity?

I don't ask questions.

I don't believe that.

The human mind always

has questions.

My only question is why waller didn't just

blow your head off with your nano bomb?

It's the same reason

she needs me dead.

Because I know how to diffuse them.

Wait, what?

How do you know she's

with the riddler?

She was eyeballing him

back at the monitor room.

So she's got herself a new guy.

After everything I've done for her!

Oh, we'll see about that.

I'll make five more just like her.

I'll take her skin and put

someone else in it.

Oh, that perfect creamy skin.

Pull yourself together, man!

She mocks you right to your face.

Even dared to call you...

Puddin'.

Oh, that darling girl.

She might even deserve me.

Okay, babies!

Let's cook!

Winner, winner, chicken dinner!

Oh, Harley, I take back half the

horrible things I've done to you.

They're gone!

Yeah, we can see that

Harley, but where?

It's waller.

- I'm here.

- What are you trying to pull, Deadshot?

You're not checking in!

We had a bout with the bat!

But we're past it.

I got your cane, waller.

We're just looking for an exit.

So you're all together?

Of course, why wouldn't we be?

Then why has the special crimes unit been

called in to protect the medical center?

Maybe two-face got a

pair of hemorrhoids.

We're out of here.

Please don't explode! Please don't

explode! Please don't explode!

Shut up!

Where's that medical center?

We're still on yellow alert.

- You hear something?

- Ah, let me check.

Hey, remember that time

when Mad Hatter...

Smitty? Smitty!

Boo!

Aah!

Smitty!

Put your hands in the air!

And boom!

I'm just going to slip into

something more comfortable.

So no peeking.

This is the special crimes unit.

Surrender and return

to your cells.

Light 'em up!

That worked well.

Then like the hanged man,

we are at the end of our rope.

Wow, I hate you!

You can thank us later, losers!

You all right?

Somewhat.

Glad you made it.

This better be good!

He knows how to turn off the bombs.

Look familiar?

I can do it, but you got to get

me into the medical center.

We got maybe five minutes before

waller figures out what's what.

We get to that room or we're dead!

Should have brought a tank.

We have one.

No heights!

You're joking?

I said no heights!

I'll guide you. Trust me.

I'm crazy, but that's just nuts!

Step on it!

Go to the right!

Aah!

Let's move!

Did we win?

Let's see now, we'll need this on.

This for back up.

Grab a chair.

Whee!

How do you diffuse

this bomb, exactly?

It's the electroshock.

It's the what, now?

I'm going to run 1000 volts through

your heads and fry your bombs.

Oh!

Good, put the chairs in a

circle here, around old spark.

Oh, I love electroshock!

It's a shiatsu massage

for your brain.

Lose those.

I'll keep a look out.

More cops.

Choppers too.

This will work?

Or give you a grand mal seizure.

I'm clamping you to the chairs

because you're going to wiggle.

I don't trust this fruit loop.

Mmm, 1000 volts, 5

bodies multiplied by 5,

allowing for absorption,

three second pulses.

You know what you're doing, right?

Damn it!

Don't stop working. Yeah, waller.

I'm getting reports that

there's a break in at Arkham.

You're on red alert!

News to me.

What part of off-the-books

do you not understand?

Are you in the medical center?

We hit a snag.

Batman again?

Spider needed medical attention.

Spider? But he's...

No excuses Lawton, you get that!

Uh-huh.

No more crap!

No more time! No more shenanigans!

Uh-huh.

Ah!

Those scum bags are

trying to screw me.

I never need to do that again.

Are you kidding? I feel great!

Nobody screws the wall!

Uh, guys!

Do it again!

I don't know, maybe the

skin is too thick?

Best gun ever!

Boy, why'd his head explode?

Because the bomb in his neck

didn't diffuse, you a**hole!

So what's his excuse?

Oh. Oh, that's rich!

Huh?

Denzel, what have they done to you?

Haven't you solved it yet?

The black spider is Batman!

Aah!

I know that sound.

Someone's flossing their brain.

Talk! Why are you here?

Amanda waller wanted

the riddler dead.

Waller? What's she got to...

I'm here, b*tches!

And I've brought

favors for everybody.

Yahtzee!

I think this was yours, deadhead.

Finders keepers.

Puddin', you're free!

Don't you "puddin'" me!

I go away and suddenly

you've got new friends.

Even picked a new guy!

You got it all wrong, baby.

I was using them to

help you escape!

Who else would I break

into Arkham for?

Nobody, that's who.

It'll be just like old times.

Oh!

Hmm.

You! New guy.

I don't like people

touching my stuff.

Go ahead! You're out of bullets!

I am not!

You are!

You're going the pull the trigger

and when nothing happens,

I'm going to punch you in the

throat and bash your brains out!

Three.

Two.

One.

Hold on, stop counting

for a second.

I know there are bullets.

See!

Mate, you just

out-crazied the joker!

This place is crawling with cops!

I'm going to kill waller!

Can we get out of here first?

Whoa!

Oh.

Mallet!

Its right here, Mr. j.

I was keeping it safe

for you the whole... ow!

It's time for a very big bang.

Why the hell are we running?

We're sitting ducks here.

And whose fault is that,

do you suppose, leader?

I've been carrying this team

all night, you douche bag!

- Ah, fellas!

- Really?

- Is that what you'd call it, eh?

- Guys.

- Guys, listen...

- Yeah, yeah that's what I

call it, you one-gimmick hack.

Great, let's split up.

I'm better off on my own.

Guys! Batman's here!

Joker, where did he go?

Don't owe you squat, bats!

Lawton,

we can settle our business later.

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