Batman: Return of the Caped Crusaders Page #5

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my own two hands.

Special delivery

for a Mr. Batman.

That's me.

"To Gotham's newest pop star."

I'll drink to that.

Refreshing.

Now, time to deal with you.

Great Scott!

I've been slipped a Mickey.

Batman, are you okay?

Back to... to normal.

Old chum, spell broken.

It seems someone

delivered me an antidote

that could neutralize

the bat-anti-antidote.

Holy counter-acting potions!

But who?

I'd be more concerned with them.

Quick! Both of you,

get behind me.

Holy spontaneous combustion!

Yes, Robin, the duplicates were

always molecularly unstable.

Batman, you've saved

the day again!

- From yourself.

- I don't know how you did it.

The credit must really go to

Robin and Catwoman.

She proves that even the most

vile, depraved

and amoral villain

is capable of redemption.

Gee, thanks, Batman.

While all of Gotham is

grateful for her help,

she must still serve her time.

Understood.

Catwoman, thank you

for all your help.

I promise to act as a character

witness on your behalf.

With good behavior, you'll most

likely get an early parole.

After 15 years or so.

Perhaps there's a better way

to show your gratitude.

And what would that be?

That'll keep me warm on those

cold nights doing hard time.

You'll have to come

with us now, ma'am.

It seems everything is

back the way it should be.

I still want to know who

gave you the antidote.

I'm glad you received

the package, sir.

Alfred?

The bond Alfred and I have

is unbreakable,

which is why we've had

a long-standing arrangement

that if I were ever to fire him,

it would only be because I was

under some evil mind control.

And should that happen,

I was to prepare an antidote

according to Batman's

precise instructions

and list of ingredients.

I hope it wasn't

too difficult, Alfred.

It got a bit messy at times,

but went exactly as planned.

Always one step ahead, Batman.

One step ahead.

One step ahead.

And I've been one step behind

since the very beginning.

How could I not see it?

What is it, Batman?

This has all been

a well-thought-out

distraction by joker,

penguin and Riddler.

They knew the replica ray

was unstable the whole time,

which means they never

planned to duplicate earth.

But we sent them up the river.

No, Robin. Don't you see?

We put their duplicates in jail.

They've been free

the whole time.

Holy triple-cross!

And if my guess is right,

they knew Catwoman's

Batnip would work,

because the joker spiked it with

his own laughing-gas formula,

making it more potent.

Those devilish tricksters

needed me as a distraction.

But from what?

Knowing those fiends,

it's a crime spree

targeting Gotham's most priceless

treasures and irreplaceable artworks.

Well done, Robin.

Exactly what I was thinking.

- The perfect crime.

- Almost.

Let's go!

Holy stowaway!

My feline pride won't allow me to

let those traitors go unpunished.

I want to help.

Please, Catwoman.

Those venal villains

are committing

the biggest heist

Gotham city has ever seen.

You'd be in danger.

You do remember they tried to

shoot me into space. Yes?

Very well.

After all you've done,

you've earned

the right to join us.

Ah. We did it.

Our most perfect plan ever.

Look at our haul.

Priceless treasures

and irreplaceable artwork!

The first puzzle ever created.

Four thousand years old,

and worth a king's ransom.

Ah! That rock's nothing

compared to my little nest egg,

encrusted with a million bucks

worth of diamonds and emeralds.

Whoo!

And at last, I finally got

my hands on this beauty.

A clown painting?

That's worthless.

Oh, Pengi, the value in art

isn't in how much it costs,

it's in how it makes you feel.

Besides, it will be worth lots

once I bump off the artist.

You filthy criminals!

And to think you almost

got away with it.

But no one can outsmart

Batman for very long.

Egad! He's back to his old,

obnoxiously good self.

If we can't outsmart him,

then we'd better outrun him.

Hurry, men, or it's curtains!

The prodigal penguin

always comes prepared.

Quickly! To the whirly-bat!

Look, Batman, it's their

getaway vehicle.

A blimp. Unorthodox,

but diabolical.

Whose idea was it to get such

a slow-moving getaway car?

Patience, my quizzical quipster.

Observe.

Robin, time to use our

exploding Batterangs

on those engines.

Holy Hindenburg!

If we miss the mark,

it'll go up in flames.

Which is why our aim

must be true.

Ready? One, two, three!

They've blown our engines,

you beaked boob!

Silence! Then we must

move the fray

to where this bird of prey

has the advantage.

They're gone.

Wrong. They've just gone up.

Hand over those priceless treasures

and irreplaceable artworks.

You fiends!

You'll be abstract art once you

splat onto the pavement, Batman.

Huh?

I can't believe I'm doing this.

Thanks?

End of the line, joker.

Whoa!

Oh!

Ah!

Ah!

Uh.

Well done, old chum.

We saved Gotham's priceless treasures

and irreplaceable artworks.

Yes.

Saved them from me.

Ta-ta, my stalwart stooges.

This cat's ready to walk

on the wild side again.

Catwoman, consider the

consequences of your actions.

You know a tiger can't

change her stripes, Batman.

Please. By all that's decent,

I beg of you.

I'll give myself up

on one condition.

What's that?

We run away to Europe together,

sip tea in a cafe,

and live happily ever after.

Holy unsatisfying ending.

And, of course, we kill Robin.

Catwoman, you know I can't.

Oh!

- Give me your hand.

- I'm sorry, Batman,

but I won't be

put in a cage again.

No.

Catwoman.

Loving you was wrong,

but I had to do right.

Oh, land's sake,

what a wonderful birthday

you've thrown for me, boys.

Did we surprise you,

aunt Harriet?

Did you?

I knew you two were trying to

keep a secret from me.

But I never suspected

it was this.

There's not much

we could keep from you.

The lengths you went to.

And I was beginning to think

you kept me around

only for appearances.

Appearances, aunt Harriet?

How so?

Oh, simply that the

famous Bruce Wayne

didn't have room for

his ward's old aunt.

But now I know I'm a valued

part of the family,

and I needn't be so insecure.

And you can put an end

to the fishing ruse.

- I promise I won't...

- Sir.

Uh, you'll have to

excuse us, aunt Harriet.

Where are you two going?

The party's just started.

Why, skeet shooting of course.

See you later, aunt Harriet.

Oh, yes, of course.

What?

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