Batman: Return of the Caped Crusaders Page #4

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Begorra.

Have you gone mad, Batman?

You've always said there never

was enough of me to go around.

That's no longer a problem.

Chief, commissioner,

please escort the former chief and

commissioner off the premises.

From now on, Batman will

be running this town.

And eventually, the world.

Mr. mayor, the city no longer

requires your ineffective management.

- You're relieved from office.

Semple vs Strozier states any judge

can be replaced by a citizen.

Baking is as much a science

as an art.

The city deserves a Boulanger

who understands that.

First position.

Second position.

Holy plie.

How am I supposed to focus

on my progressions

when Batman progresses down

a road of darkness?

Progresses.

How did I not see it before?

Catwoman's Batnip did work!

It's just been working slowly.

If I'm going to save Batman,

I need to go to the source.

Sarsaparilla on the rocks.

Please.

Oh!

Ow!

I hope you're proud of what you've

done to Batman, you hateful hussy!

I wanted him to be bad,

but not that bad.

You do know the

difference, don't you?

Give me the antidote, you

licentious Lucrezia!

There is an antidote,

isn't there?

Of course there's an antidote.

We just have to get

him to take it.

- We? -You know how

fond I am of Batman.

Were it not for his unfortunate

devotion to good, we'd be an item.

Besides, the way he saved me

from those double crossers,

I suppose I owe him.

Can I trust you?

Cross my heart.

I promise not to kill you.

For now.

Then let's go.

To the Catmobile!

Holy

faster, pussycat! Kill! Kill!

Are you old enough

to drive one of these?

Gosh, yes.

I have my learner's permit,

which means I can drive if

another adult is in the vehicle.

Remember, I'll be watching

your every move, Catwoman.

Kid, I always suspected you did.

- Where to?

- The Batcave.

But your gonna have to take

a catnap for this trip.

Very well.

But I expect you to keep your

hands to yourself.

Well, if it isn't the bachelor

pad to end all bachelor pads.

Should we hide before

Batman finds us?

He already knows we're here.

Quite right, boy genius.

It was just a matter of time

before you returned.

I'm just surprised you brought

such a lovely guest.

Batman, from the look of things,

you're happy to see me.

You know I am, doll.

Listen, Batman. Catwoman's

Batnip worked, only very slowly.

That's the reason

you're acting this way.

Then it's her I have to thank.

I much prefer the new me.

I'm finally doing everything my old

virtuous self wouldn't let me do.

Your ego is out of control.

You've taken over the city!

And that's only the beginning.

What about you, baby?

You want to join me?

Isn't that what you

wanted all along?

But what about Robin?

Hmm.

I know.

We'll kill him.

Purr-fect.

I'll probably regret this,

but a deal is a deal.

That's the antidote, Batman. You'll

soon be back to your old self.

Wrong, old chum.

I anticipated this move

and took the

bat-anti-antidote.

Yup, I knew I'd regret it.

You must be stopped!

Then why don't you try,

old chum?

I know every move you'll make,

because I taught you

every move you know.

An old-fashioned tool, Robin.

A utility belt showdown.

I accept.

Bat-knockout gas!

Bat-wake-up gas!

Bat-cuffs!

Bat-lockpick.

Bat-bomb!

Bat-shield!

Enough of this

frivolous folderol.

Sweet dreams, fools.

Comfy, my tenacious twosome?

Holy hydrogen!

The nuclear silo.

When I pull this lever, you'll

be lowered into the silo

at the exact moment it releases

its radioactive steam.

Any last requests?

How 'bout a kiss,

masked muscles?

Sure thing, pussycat.

You'll never get away

with this, Batman.

Boy, bird-brain,

can't you see we're in the

middle of something?

Sorry.

I'm afraid our time's run out.

Perhaps we'll meet again

in your next life, Catwoman.

Now, if you excuse me,

I have a city to rule.

Drat, drat and double drat!

My claws have no effect.

Batman uses a special

bat-cable that doesn't fray.

Perhaps we can swing

ourselves to the railing.

He raised it three inches,

just enough to prevent us from

clearing the rail.

Then how the heck

do we get outta here?

I don't think we can.

Brace yourself.

How are we alive?

While you were out on the

drive here, I sprayed us both

with a dose of

bat-anti-isotope spray

to guard us against

any radioactivity.

I knew Batman would probably

get the best of us

and that our most likely fate

would be the silo.

Most impressive, boy wonder.

I just hope we haven't

lost Batman forever.

We'll need muscle to stop him.

No one's crazy enough

to take on all those batmen.

You're wrong, Catwoman.

There's a whole prison of them.

We're Gotham state

prison inspectors.

I've never heard of prison

inspectors before.

Why wasn't I informed of this?

It's a new position, warden.

You do want to ensure

the safety of the prisoners

and all that garbage, don't you?

Madame, I assure you,

we go by the book.

Oh, is that so?

Those pickaxes

aren't up to code!

They must be replaced.

Lucky for you, warden,

we brought the newest model.

Oh! Look at that!

These are not regulation

ball and chains.

Replace them. Now!

And to lift prisoner morale,

the state has required us to give

the prisoners these care packages

of toiletries and

wholesome magazines.

What about us?

Sorry, but we're all out.

If I weren't already

in jail, I...

Ah! The indignity of it all.

Passed over for these

larcenous lowlifes.

Remember, any more violations and you'll

be the ones wearing prison chains.

Whoa! Where do you think

you're going? Hey!

Come on, fellas.

Huzzah!

Everyone's gotten away!

Except for these three.

Don't take your eyes off them.

We can't lose them, too.

I won't let them

out of my sight.

Welcome to another edition

of Gotham palace,

with your host...

Batman?

Hello, Gotham city.

Your regular host, Miranda Monroe,

is a bit tied up at the moment.

So, I thought this could be

another job for Batman.

Since taking over Gotham,

I've created the perfect city,

and yet I'm still not sated.

I used to think

I dress like a bat

to instill fear into

Gotham's super criminals,

but recently I've come

to realize that, actually,

I just crave attention.

So, what better place to get

that than Gotham palace?

And to ensure you

don't miss a minute,

my batmen have attached

bat-vhf detonators

to every TV aerial

in Gotham city.

If you turn the channel,

or worse, turn off the TV,

your sets will explode!

Holy shrapnel!

Boy genius? Catwoman? Alive?

Annoying, but not

entirely surprising.

We're here to stop you, Batman.

And just how do you two

plan on doing that?

With a little help

from our friends.

Then as the milkmaid said

when she kissed her cow,

"the show must go on."

You poor, delinquent child.

Those villains are all going

back to Gotham penitentiary.

But I'll deal with you

and Catwoman personally.

But there will be no death trap.

And I won't be conveniently

stepping away.

This time I do it with

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